Unexpected Salvation
by ljam86
Summary: Santana let Rachel go after high school in hopes that the girl she loved would follow her dreams. When they have a chance meeting ten years later, Santana sees that it is not the case at all.
1. Back Where we Began

Title: Unexpected Salvation

Rating: NC-17 for bad language and sexual themes. It isn't terribly graphic but it has some talk of sexual acts.

Chapter summary: This chapter is mostly about their pasts together in high school.

Spoilers: All aired Episodes to be safe. I have taken liberties with certain story lines and changed some things up a bit though.

Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, Fox and Ryan Murphy do. I only own the weirdness in my head.

A/N: For the purposes of this fic, While Lauren is around, Kurt never left. The Cheerios never left the squad. There will be Finn bashing. No beta so mistakes are my own. Thanks to Dylandahlgren for all the input and help.

Chapter One/A- Back Where We Began

_**2022**_

She was getting ready to leave the office after finishing up with her last appointment of the day. She'd barely gotten the office door open when she heard it. The Latina was startled to hear the voice she hadn't heard in nearly six years. At first she was convinced her mind was playing tricks on her. This hadn't been the first time she'd imagined being near the other woman once again. But when she saw that oh so familiar frame from behind she knew it had to be her.

"Rachel Howard is here to see you," Santana heard Lydia, at the front desk say. After a brief pause the woman continued with, "Go right on back, third office on the right."

"Thank you," Rachel returned, sending chills up Santana's spine as she backed herself into her office once more, closing the door behind her.

She dropped her briefcase and tossed the jacket she'd just put on back onto the little couch in the corner and preceded to sit back down in the chair behind her desk. Her heart was racing a million miles a minute and she couldn't stop the memories from flooding her mind. They were always there under the surface and they came out at will every so often, but never like this. She could usually keep them at a minimum but now; it was all exploding around her. "Why fight it?" she spoke to herself. "What's the point? She's actually here." Most of the memories were good ones so that wasn't why Santana didn't care to have them. The problem was that they were **all** she had left of **them**, with the exception of a few photographs, some class memorabilia that she hid away in an old trunk, a little note, and a charm bracelet. Okay, so for someone who was so against reveling in what once was she had a lot of reminders. On top of all that she sure played the masochist when it came to that damn bracelet. She rarely wore it anymore but she always kept it near. She knew it was pathetic to hold on to a trinket from a teenage love that you haven't actually spoken to directly in ten years, but she didn't much care.

She'd never have sex with another woman after Rachel but whenever she'd engage in some random one-night stand with a man, she'd find herself wearing it during the act. Once it was over she'd get away as quickly as she could so that she could curl up in a ball and sob pleas of apology to the object on her wrist. It had been two years since she'd done it. After an STD scare, which she luckily tested negative for, she applied all of that education she had received over the years and decided it was too risky, condom or not.

Santana marveled at the piece of jewelry that she'd removed from the confines of the inner breast pocket of her suit and thought back to the day Rachel had given it to her. They were just nearing the bridge between tentative friends and pretty close ones. Somewhere around January of their junior year, they both decided to call it a truce. Truth be told, the Cheerio had gotten a burst of a conscience over the whole Finn situation. It wasn't that she felt bad for having slept with him as far as Rachel was concerned. It was that she rubbed the little diva's nose in it and went out of her way to be mean about it. She'd flirted with the idea of telling Rachel about her little tryst with Finn but she backed off when he'd spouted a bunch of stuff about not wanting to hurt his girlfriend. After Brittany turned to Artie due to her disregard of the blonde's feelings for her, she understood. But then he had the nerve to say that she wasn't worth it. The girl had picked that very moment to let the camel's back break. She'd been sick of being considered a play thing and was also a bit annoyed at herself for having treated the one person that actually wanted her for more than just sex like crap. So yeah, she blurted it out in front of everyone in glee to knock Finn down a peg or two. She hadn't meant to hurt Rachel by that specific action, however, the shorter girl started throwing words like slut around and Santana couldn't have Berry of all people acting as if she were somehow superior. So she went for the jugular.

_**2011-Jauary **_

_The day after New Year's they ran into each other at the mall. Santana was minding her own business enjoying a rarely indulged cookie when Rachel marched right up to her._

"_Lopez," she said with less malice than the last time they'd hurled insults at one another. _

"_What do you want, Hobbit?"_

"_I would like to talk to you."_

"_And I would like you to quit visually assaulting me with the terror that is your wardrobe. I guess neither of us gets what we want," Santana spat as she got up to make a quick getaway, only to have the shorter girl block her escape. _

"_While I do not appreciate that you had a romantic entanglement with Finn, I realize that I have no right to be angry with you for having done so when he and I weren't even together and I was involved with someone else," the little brunette prattled out pretending as if she hadn't just been insulted. "And I guess I'm not exactly innocent in the situation either."_

"_Romantic entanglement? Seriously, Berry? It was just sex, meaningless sex. You heard it yourself from his lips. I wasn't even worth it," the sting in Santana's voice was apparent even though she'd tried to cover it up._

_Seeing the attempt to cover up the hurt, Rachel replied, "I shouldn't have called you a slut, or any of the other names that I said and thought. I apologize."_

"_I've been called worse," Santana brushed off._

"_I've been called treasure trail, Ru Paul, tranny, stubbles, and countless other names for a long time. That doesn't make it right when it gets repeated."  
><em>

_That's how it started. It wasn't exactly a hang out at lunch and after school sort of thing, but Santana's name-calling had toned down a bit, and the slushies had subsided. The slushies had been stopped for everyone in glee because Santana couldn't bear to admit that she was doing it for Rachel Berry of all people. When Quinn asked why she even cared Santana merely said, "Slushies, are for losers and the only reason they are considered losers is because they're in glee club. Well, so are we and I know damn well that we aren't losers." Quinn left well enough alone. Later that week Rachel slipped an envelope into Santana's Cheerios bag with the bracelet and a note. The note simply read,_

_**You can throw this away once you've read it. I'd like to express my deepest appreciation for stopping the slushy attacks on myself and our fellow glee club members. I am quite certain that it was all your doing. Please accept this token of my highest gratitude. **_

_**Rachel Barbra Berry***_

_Santana thought it was so cheesy and unbelievably Berry. She actually smiled at the sight of the gold star. She appreciated being appreciated and never did throw away the note. That evening she found herself texting Rachel to come over and watch a movie. Between Quinn being occupied with Sam and Brittany spending more time with Artie, she'd felt a bit lonely for a while. The little diva excitedly agreed and they would carry on that way for a couple more months. At school they played things off as if they tolerated one another for the sake of glee. They still exchanged negative words from time to time to keep up appearances, but in private they truly had become friends. (This is when apologies were generally made about implying that one was less than female or the other would be working a pole in the future.)The cheerleader wasn't quite sure why Rachel would agree to a secret friendship, but she took it at face value._

_In early March Santana found herself more depressed than ever. She had finally gotten up the nerve to tell Brittany that she loved her and wanted to be with her, but Brittany was adamant that while she loved the dark haired girl, she wouldn't break it off with her boyfriend because she loved him too. The blonde simply refused to hurt Artie like that. The Latina set about pushing everyone including Brittany away, but Rachel wouldn't let it happen to her. The diva was not the kind to give up so she kept showing up no matter how much Santana backslid into her former roll. She reverted back to name calling and yelling at Rachel whenever she showed up, but in the end she'd always end up crying in the shorter girl's arms. Rachel didn't force dialogue and surprisingly she didn't insist on running her mouth. She only spoke when her friend asked her to. Santana was shocked at what a good listener the singer could be. While Santana was sure anyone else would tell her that the whole situation was her fault, all the little brunette did was hold her and assure her that Brittany still cared. The smaller girl didn't even scold her for entering in a relationship with Sam even though she'd only been using him as a prop. Eventually Santana began talking more, and in turn Rachel was able to convince the other girl to at least try and reclaim her friendship with the tall blonde, which proved to be for the best. _

_Somewhere in the midst of all the relationship dramas the club managed to win regional's. Santana really enjoyed the quest for an original song, even though she had pretended to be against it the first time Rachel had suggested it. She knew the song that she'd written for Sam was mean at best but she really liked what her voice did with the melody. The song they had written as a group was therapeutic for all of them__. Loser Like Me__ said everything that all of them had thought at one time or another. She certainly had and she thought that Rachel should take the words more literally than the rest of them. She was the most likely to get out of Lima and become something great, leaving all of the haters in her dust._

_While the group song had wowed the Latin girl, __Get it Right__ floored her. It was beautifully written and the other brunette sang it with all the passion in the world. Listening to the words, and the emotion that was put into singing them, however, made Santana (Not for the first time or the last) want to punch Finn Hudson's lights out. She hated him for making Rachel feel like that. He was the one that made her feel like she wasn't good enough to make him love her again. She hated herself a little as well because she knew that she had been the source of many of Rachel's doubts. _

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_**2011-April**_

"_What's up with you, Berry?" Santana asked one night. Rachel was obviously upset, but wasn't talking about it. It was in those times she wished Rachel would lay her feelings out like Brittany because Santana could always tell when her best friend/ex-bed buddy was hurting and she always knew how to make it better. Rachel on the other hand could be dramatic as all hell, but when she truly wanted to hide something she usually could. Their friendship had gotten to the point where the raven-haired Cheerio could almost always tell when Rachel was upset, but it hadn't quite made it to the point where she knew how to make it better. _

"_Nothing," Rachel said as she feigned interest in __Funny Girl _(Yes you read right)_. _

"_You're so full of shit. You've been acting weird ever since you got here. I was even willing to watch this god forsaking whatever, hoping that you'd get over whatever it is that has you all upset. But apparently it didn't work because you don't have that look in your eye."_

"_One, the language is unnecessary. Two, what look are you speaking of Santana?" Rachel asked with a look of annoyance._

"_You know, that 'I'm totally in my happy place and there isn't anything you can do about it' look that you get whenever I let you torture me with one of these things."_

"_It's called a musical and it is by far the most momentous musical that has ever graced the earth. Plus the great one, meaning Barbra, is the headliner." Santana rolled her eyes at the little rant just displayed and Rachel chuckled for the first time since she stepped foot in the Lopez home that evening. "So I have a look, huh?"_

"_We'll discuss that later," replied the cheerleader. "You aren't even acting the least bit interested in this and it's freakin __Funny Girl__ !" She watched as the other girl's face slumped. "Really though, what's up?"_

_Rachel took in a deep breath. "It's Finn." Santana suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She'd thought that they had gotten over the Finn drama. He hadn't been openly hostile to Rachel until his little tryst with Quinn was ended because she decided that Sam was the one she wanted to be with. Feeling the sting of the rejection sent him toward Rachel at one of Puck's parties in search of a hookup. When she told him that she wasn't ready to jump into bed with him when they weren't even a couple, he took it to heart. Afterwards he managed to make out with one girl after the next, usually in strategically chosen locations such as, near Rachel's locker or the music room at the most inconvenient times in order to get a rise out of the short brunette. If it worked Santana never saw it. She knew Rachel had been hurt by the displays in the beginning but she never harped on it. Now it seemed as if she hardly even acknowledged it. Never once did she manage one of her diva storm outs as a result. "He's really mad at me."_

"_It's been almost four months. Frankinteen should get over the Puckerman thing by now; or you telling him that you weren't going to put out just because he decided he wanted you again, or whichever thing he's whining about these days." Santana growled "It isn't like he hasn't worked his way through Quinn and any other girl that shows any interest." _

"_It isn't that. It's well…..You know how Jesse called to apologies last week?"_

_Santana placed a doctored smile to her face and replied, "Yes and I haven't told anyone, not even Britts. You did that all on your own."_

"_Oh this isn't an accusation. I know you wouldn't betray my trust. While a year ago I would never have believed that you would be able to comply with an agreement to keep a secret on my behalf, I certainly have a greater respect and trust where you are concerned now an…."_

_Rachel was cut off by Santana cutting in, "Get to the point, dwarf." While she'd come accustom to Rachel's rants, the Latina still didn't enjoy sitting through them when there were other matters to deal with, such as why Finn was all pissy. _

"_My height is nowhere near the size of dwarfism and I'll have you know that you are not much taller than me," Rachel said with a huff._

"_Okay, anyway just spill already," the Cheerio spat._

"_Okay, well Jesse and I met for a cup of coffee at the Lima Bean last night. Finn and that freshman Cheerio, Delia I think her name is, were there together too. They saw us. So today after glee he asked to talk to me in private. We talked in my car and he was absolutely livid at my conduct." Rachel began to explain._

"_I'm not a very big fan of that Saint James kid either, but where does that overgrown oaf get off telling you who you can and cannot be around?" Santana seethed, not so sure why she cared quite this much. The only other friend she ever got herself this worked up over was Brittany, when some bitch at a cheerleading competition made Brittany cry by calling her an idiot for carting around a stuffed duck for luck. _

"_I tried to tell him that I was in no way romantically involved with Jesse. I told him that we were just trying to put the past behind us. He felt guilty and for some reason wanted to reach out so we met up. It isn't like we are going to even be friends or anything. We both agreed against that, especially because he's in love with a very aesthetically pleasing red-head that attends UCLA with him and she is most definitely the jealous type." Rachel was on a roll and though Santana thought it was kind of cute, she was annoyed at the fact that Rachel felt the need to explain herself to Finn of all people. _

"_Berry, even if you were hooking up with St. assh… er I mean St. James again it wouldn't be any of that man-mountain's business," the taller brunette hissed as she stumbles over the mistake she'd almost made. The songstress had learned to accept Santana's cursing to an extent; however, the taller girl was not ready to risk another lecture on bad language in the middle of the current conversation._

"_He was so mad, San. He acted like I'd cheated on him again but he never got that mean before," the shorter of the two looked down to her lap. _

"_Mean how?" Santana questioned with knitted brows. _

"_Just, he said some things. I mean he wasn't completely incorrect in his assessment, though hearing it made me feel rather dreadful," Rachel said in a near whisper. _

"_What did he say, Rach?" Santana was fuming and in that second didn't care if it was noticed. _

"_The words whore and stupid may or may not have been uttered, however, they were said in the heat of the moment." Santana went to open her mouth but her friend continued talking "He reminded me of all the less than pleasant things I've done to him and whoever else. Hearing it all laid out there like that made me realize that he had a point. He was the sweetest guy and I threw it away out of stupidity." Rachel leaned against the back of the sofa. _

"_Rachel, you haven't done anything that bad."_

"_Oh really?" She started while toying with the gold star necklace Finn had given her as a belated Christmas/ Valentine's Day gift. The one he'd handed her just before he shattered any hope of her getting back with him. "Let's see shall we. I pursued him while he was with another girl. I told him about Noah being the baby's father just so I could have him. I dated his best friend to make him jealous. I forced him into a relationship without even asking him what he wanted. I refused to take him back because some other guy displayed affection for me and then I lied and told him I was having sexual relations with the new guy, who I might add ended up betraying the club because I was too stupid to admit that he was using me. I also used all aforementioned boys in an attempted to make myself look more intriguing. When we finally got together I freaked out over him sleeping with you when we weren't even together. So in all of my brilliance I decide to make out with his best friend, knowing how insecure he was about that kind of thing. Who does that?" Rachel gasped because she hadn't allowed herself to breathe throughout the tangent. She soon found that she'd failed at keeping the tears in her eyes concealed as they were now running down her cheeks. _

"_Quinn does that?" Santana smirked in an effort to lighten the mood. More for herself than Rachel's sake because she wanted to deliver a major beat down to Finn. Though seeing the hurt in her friends eye's was kind of the cause for that feeling. _

"_Completely different circumstances," replied Rachel as she rolled her eyes and tried to put a stop to the tears. "Santana, I got a teacher fired because I didn't get a solo!" Rachel said as if she couldn't believe it herself. _

"_Okay, you got a free pass on that one because I'm almost sure that we'll be seeing Mr. Ryerson on an episode of __To Catch a Predator __in the near future." The cheerleader cringed at her own words, as did the other girl. "But if you insist on taking responsibility for all of your wrongs, you forgot about Sunshine and the crack house," Santana joked while assisting in the wiping away of the liquid coming from Rachel's eyes. _

"_Thanks," said Rachel dryly, "I almost forgot about that. Oh and let's not forget my attire, lack of a filter, and those other annoying habits everyone hates me for."_

"_Not everyone hates you. You can be a bit abrasive at times. Dare I say self-absorbed? But if anyone takes the chance to get to know you they'd see that you aren't so bad. The majority of us are pretty self-absorbed too." The truth was while Rachel was all those things, as well as manipulative at times, she was one of the kindest people in the world. She would go out of her way to help anyone that needed it, provided they weren't her competition. And though Santana wasn't admitting to it quite yet, she thought the Sunshine incident was the most badass thing Rachel had ever done and it kind of turned her on. _

"_Thanks," was Rachel's reply._

"_Look, we all make mistakes but you and Finnessa both are being way too hard on you." Rachel leaned into her companion and let out a large sigh. _

"_I wish I believed that. I've felt so guilty that I couldn't even let myself throw a temper tantrum whenever I saw him being romantic with other girls."_

_The cheerleader huffed before saying, "He makes out with random skanks. I hardly call it romantic."_

"_They're the kind of girls he should be with anyway," Rachel broke in. _

"_What kind of girl would that be?" Santana asked, in confusion. _

"_You know, pretty girls," Rachel motioned to her friend, "with a higher status on the food chain."_

"_Okay, so you aren't exactly popular, but I know you've been told that you're beautiful," Santana nudged. _

"_Well that's something that my dads are kind of obligated to say as parents. And as far as boyfriends go, they have to say it if they ever expect to get in your pants," Rachel sing songed. _

_Santana let out a giggle, which she rarely ever did "Well take it from me, Berry. Puck was right when he called you a hot Jew."_

"_So I don't need a nose job, bigger boobs maybe?" Rachel laughed._

"_You're perfect, Rachel, really." _

_The tiny diva smiled up at her friend, "You were too you know? Not that you aren't perfect still, but you certainly didn't need new breasts to be hot."_

"_Thanks for saying so, Berry." _

_It was weird that she gave a damn about the other girl's feelings. Up until recently she had actually obtained a kind of joy in tormenting her now friend. But now she found that every time she saw just how hurt the other girl could be; now that she could see that part of Rachel that the diva tried to hide away from the word, the one who blamed herself for the cruelty of others, she just wanted to beat the crap out of assholes like Finn high horse Hudson. "Hey Rach," Santana reluctantly said._

"_Yes Santana."_

"_I'm really sorry about the crap I put you through. You never deserved it. I'm a bitch and sometimes I get carried away and you get most of the crap I spew." _

_It took everything in Rachel's little body, not to gasp at the apology. It was so far from the Santana that she'd once known. "I appreciate your apology Santana; however, it is most unnecessary. I am well aware that I am an acquired taste for most people and I have a tendency to behave in a manner that inspires that kind of treatment." The little brunette smiled up bashfully at her friend._

_Santana's guilt only grew at her friends words. She had had a hand in the Rachel feeling as if she deserved the treatment she'd received. "I'm not going to say that you're never annoying as hell," Santana started, "but like I said before, if people would give you half a chance they'd see you aren't quite as crazy as you seem. You should be treated better. People are just really jealous because you have what it takes to do anything you want after high school is over, while most of us will end up Lima losers."_

_Rachel looked directly into Santana's eyes. "People should give themselves more credit," She smirked to convey the belief she had in the Latina, and then went on to say, "Even though this is the first time you're saying it, you show how sorry you are for all of that all the time now. So there isn't any reason to bring it up again, okay?"_

_Santana nearly protested but thought better of it. "Sure thing, Berry."_

_Those moments in time when the two of them could shut the world out, allowed the girls to be vulnerable with one another. The Latina didn't have to hide behind the ghetto bitch façade she always found herself using in public and Rachel didn't have to be so high strung, always striving for perfection at almost any cost. The two fell into a comfortable silence and tried to finish the movie. It was that night that Santana was finally willing to entertain the thought that the physical attraction she long since admitted to herself she felt for the Broadway star to be, may be more than just that. _

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_Santana figured that the weekend would give her some time to cool off when it came to the Finn situation, or at least it was the lie she told herself. In all honesty she knew that the weekend was merely going to give her more time to get even angrier with the football player. So when Monday rolled around she entered the school building pinkie linked with Brittany's and strolled up to the jock. "Music room, five minutes," she said simply. She suspected that he thought he was going to get lucky because ever since he and Quinn had officially broken up, he had been trying to get a repeat performance from Santana. The fact that Brittany was there was a bonus._

"_Yeah sure," he tried to say nonchalantly but the eagerness crept into his voice. _

"_Five minutes," the Latina repeated before walking off in the direction of the music room. Santana half expected Brittany to tell her not to go crazy on the guy, but after hearing that he'd reduced Rachel to tears, she was all in. Santana took in to account that Rachel probably made the encounter sound better than it had been so she didn't feel bad about what needed to be done. Rachel rarely actually cried in front of people, she reserved that for when she was alone so whatever Finn had said to her must have been beyond cruel. The cheerleader wasn't going to hurt him physically, that would only upset the tiny brunette and get her a lecture on violence, so she made sure Brittany was there to keep her from laying some serious hands on the boy._

_Finn entered the music room he had a big goofy grin on his face, already fiddling with his belt buckle. "So we have like twenty minutes before the first bell rings," he chimed._

"_Woah, put it back in your pants Finnocense," Santana scowled. "Brittany's with wheels and she's not a cheater."_

"_So she's watching," the boy questioned?_

"_Yeah, she be watching to make sure I don't bust your ass." Finn looked at Santana confused. _

"_You made Rachel cry," Brittany spoke up. "That wasn't very nice." _

"_Whatever goes on between Rachel and me is our business," said Finn ignoring Brittany and looking at Santana. "Why would you care anyway?"_

"_I know I joined glee so I could screw it over, but I love it now. Rachel was the first one to believe me. We may not be close but even I have to admit that her voice makes this club a powerhouse. If she's all weepy and shit over you, she can't deliver and I can't have that." She took a quick look Brittany's way and continued, "Plus Brittany says she doesn't like to see Rachel sad, and I don't like to see Brittany sad." Brittany smiled at that._

"_Rachel always bounces back with a smile no matter what," Finn replied. The comment made Santana feel a pang of guilt for all the times she'd tormented Rachel and the girl would plaster on a smile anyway._

"_I'm not taking chances," Santana said flatly. "Apologize to her and beg for her forgiveness."_

"_She was the one who tried to sleep with Puck," Finn defended as if that situation justified his resent confrontation with his ex._

"_You gotsta be kidding me. You really wanna go there Jolly Green? Fuck you and the high horse you rode in on," the brunette Cheerio hissed. "You aren't exactly blameless."_

"_We wer…."_

"_I know you weren't together then or whatever," she replied. "Once you got with her, you should have told her the truth about hittin' this" the dark haired girl ran her hands along the sides of her torso and past her hips to dive her point home. "And let's be honest here, you weren't exactly always the most faithful either. I know you took Berry out and kissed her a couple times when you had a girlfriend; one you thought was preggo with your spawn. And to add insult to injury you used her feelings for you to get her back to glee. Oh and she even gave a pair of panties over to her creepy stalker so Jewfro wouldn't tell the whole school about you, Q, and the kid because she wanted to help you out. She should get a free pass from both you and Juno for that alone." Finn went to speak and was again interrupted by a fierce Santana. "And it's not like you hadn't dumped her before."_

"_To go out with the two of you," Finn finally got a few words in edgewise._

"_Your point?" she seethed. "You were the one with her. Then you went and threw a hissy fit over some video because boohoo she used you to make a video that had other boys in it too." Santana mocked. "Oh and we can't forget that little make out sessions you had with Q knowing damn well she was with, guppy face. I'm glad she wised up and went back to him." _

"_After you took him for a ride!" Finn defended. Truth was, Santana only hooked up with the guy to cure her loneliness and prop her rep back up, after Puck had apparently decided that his type of woman had changed drastically. Puck being with Lauren was odd and even an ego basher at times, but the Latina had to admit that the wrestler kept him in line more than anyone else and that was what Puck needed in a girl._

"_Well Puck was too busy trying to ride the great white whale," Santana did her best to sound disgusted. "Besides Q needed to see what she could be throwing away and she did." Sam and Quinn's relationship made her cringe a bit as well, but she knew that even though the bleached blonde wasn't the best match for her friend, he would have her back, which is something Finn never did well when it came to his girlfriends. Either way, she took pleasure in the two boys and the little blows they took. Hey, she was trying to be nicer about things, but she was still Santana. "Look, regardless of the way I feel about the hobbit, we all know she is way too forgiving. If people were to pull all the shit on me that they pull on her, I'd kick their asses all over the place. But to our credit, we never claimed to actually give a damn about her when we were screwing with her. You were a lot sneakier about it. You said you cared about her and constantly tore her down. It turns out that it wasn't enough for you because as soon as you did, you found ways to make her feel even worse. You stung her and baby mama along for months you ape!" Santana took in a deep breath to calm her nerves. "And now I, Santana Lopez, bitch who barely gives a shit about anyone else in the world is lecturing you on being an asshole. That should tell you something."_

_Brittany giggled before it gave way into a huff. "Go tell Rach you're sorry for making her cry. She's nice, even if she talks too much and confuses me sometimes." Then the blonde girl's face lit up, "Her sweaters don't scare me anymore and she watches ducky cartoons with me sometimes because even though Artie and Santana pretend to like them so I'll be happy, they don't smile and laugh with me. We sing along together too. 'Ducktails' is the best." Santana's heart swelled at the revelation. She knew Rachel and Brittany were hanging out every so often, sometimes with her, but she hadn't really heard Brittany talk about Rachel in such a happy go lucky way. She didn't know why it surprised her. Brittany liked nearly everyone that was nice to her. All the times that Santana and Quinn spent tormenting Rachel, Brittany was hardly ever directly involved with anything malicious. She'd laugh along, though Santana suspected that she was just going along with it all to stay on Quinn's and her good side. _

"_Fine," Finn said dragging himself to the door. "I'll tell her I'm sorry or whatever."_

"_She best believe you or I'll be busting some freakishly large kneecaps with a golf club," The brunette called behind him as he exited the room.  
><em>

"_Rachel wouldn't like it if you hit him with a golf club," Brittany furrowed her eyebrows._

"_I know, B," Santana smiled. "I just wanted him to understand how serious I was."_

"_Oh," said the Dutch girl before scurrying to the open door and looking to the direction Finn left in. "And I'll hit you with S's car." Santana smiled and linked pinkies with the other girl once more._

"_Right on Britt." _

"_Why didn't you tell Finn the real reason you care so much about Rachel's feelings?" Brittany asked wide-eyed. _

"_People don't really know I'm hanging with Berry. She doesn't exactly kick it with the same group as us. But she says she doesn't mind being friends outside of school instead." Santana found her logic a bit faulty but she pretended it made total sense. _

"_I know that you don't want to be with one person, or tell people you like girls, but that didn't keep you from being friends with me at school." Brittany looked confused. _

"_That was different B. We're best friends and we had a different kind of thing going than I do with Rachel." _

"_We're always going to be besties, silly. She can't have pinkies because that's our thing but she can hold your hand. You look at her like you used to look at me but kind of different. That's the way she looks at you too." _

_Santana nearly choked on the words that were about to come out of her mouth. "Really? I do? I mean, she does?" Once she stopped tripping over her words she continued with "I don't think so Britts. Rachel and I are just friends."_

"_So were we," Brittany chimed. "We still had fun. I bet Rachel is a really good kisser. You should totally find out." Santana couldn't help but get a visual of what a kiss between her and the talkative brunette would be like. "S?" she heard, breaking her out of her thoughts._

"_Huh?"_

"_It's okay if you don't love me in the same way you did. I won't be sad if you care about Rachel that way," said the dancer. _

"_I'll always love you Britt."_

"_I know but you love me like a best friend again, not like a girlfriend. I get it. That's the way I feel about you too. But I'm in love with Artie," Brittany smiled. "But don't worry. I won't tell anyone about Rachel. I won't even write it in my diary. Charity is being a bad kitty again and she's gone back to reading it." _

_The bell rang rather loudly and the Blonde began to swing their arms. Santana just shook her head with a little grin and said, "Come on, B. That was the warning bell." While people may have considered Brittany to be a dumb blonde (the cat reading the diary being an example of why) the girl was truly receptive and seemed to know people better than anyone. Rachel once told Santana that she suspected that Brittany was actually a genius and people just didn't allow themselves to see it._

_Finn apologized and Santana was happy about it for all of day. The situation had revitalized Finn's affection for the singer in more than a suggested hookup sort of way. He started to become obsessed with getting back with Rachel. She spurned the boy's advances for the most part, but most of the gleeks figured that he would wear her down soon enough. Her prospects weren't exactly coming out in droves._

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_Friday night rolled around once more and Rachel and Santana were hanging out at the Berry home. _

"_I'd understand it if you'd rather go hang out with him," Santana lied._

"_Why on earth would I do that? We had plans. Shame on him if he expected me to jump into his waiting arms just because he came to the conclusion that I am now worthy of his affections once again," Rachel said giddily. "I'd much rather banter with you in between explosion and dance numbers on the television screen."_

"_Really?" Santana asked a little too excitedly for her own taste._

"_Yes, most definitely," Rachel answered. "Even with all of my extracurricular activities, this is by far the best part of my week."_

"_Mine too," the Latina grinned. _

_After the sixth explosion in some movie Santana had insisted on watching just to get back at Rachel for making her sit through __Easter Parade__, Rachel broke through the comfortable silence. _

"_I know everyone thinks I want him back and I'm just playing games to see how far I can push him."_

"_I don't think that. I know Britt doesn't," replied Santana._

"_I really don't though," said the little diva. "I told him that my feelings had changed. I explained to him in no uncertain terms that we are not now, nor in the future getting back together."_

"_Good for you. He never disserved you in the first place," Santana said encouraging along with some level of relief. _

"_The thing is, it's wrong to be with someone with whom you don't return feeling, and still pine away for someone else entirely," Rachel said cryptically. _

_The cheerleader's heart wrenched in her chest, "So Things didn't work out with Saint James and his girl huh?"_

"_What? No," was the singer's reply. "As far as I know, they're fine. I haven't so much as spoken to him since coffee that night."_

"_Someone new, or are you taking Puck for another spin?" She didn't mean to be so catty but she couldn't seem to help it. "The rhino could crush your tiny ass with one blow."_

_In typical Berry fashion Rachel ignored the snide comment and persevered. "It's just, well Brittany and I had this conversation a while ago and I cannot hinder its appearance from my thoughts. Did you know she's brilliant?" _

_Santana smirked at that and nodded for Rachel to continue. _

"_Well she may have possibly said something out loud that I was afraid of saying and she said…." Rachel stopped talking and pounced on Santana, crashing their lips into one another. _

"_What the hell, Berry?" The other girl screeched having been thrown off guard. She had no complaints about the kiss because, wow she was pretty amazing at it, but a little warning would have been nice._

"_Brittany said that I should see how well you kissed because she knew from experience that you were great at it. I apologize profusely for that inappropriate gesture and it will nev…." She was sent into silence with the feel of Santana's lips once again on her own. The taller girl's tongue sought entry and the diva gladly allowed it. _

_The heat Santana felt surpassed anything she'd ever felt during a kiss. She wanted to stay like this for as long as possible before she had to tell the Jewish girl that they didn't have a chance because there was no way she was ready to have a public relationship with her and she was sure that Rachel would demand it. Placing one hand on the smaller girl's hip and the other on her behind, Santana closed what little gap that lied between them. She hungrily deepened the kiss, causing a slight moan in the other girl. "Rachel," Santana stated through heavy breathing as their lips parted. "I really like you but this can't happen." She watched as the girl before her slumped back in into her seat a little dejected. "I just can't do the whole out and proud thing at school. That's pretty much what ended Brittany and me. Well, that and because I was still sleeping with Puck at the time." _

"_You haven't had a sexual relationship with Noah in months," Rachel declared, before throwing in, "And Sam and Quinn have rekindled there romance once more."_

"_Right but I still can't go around school holding your hand and all that stuff. I'm just not ready for all of that. I'm still not comfortable with us like eating lunch together, or whatever, much less anything else."_

"_Then we won't," Rachel stated bluntly. "We'll do what we do now but we can add multiple make out sessions to our hangout agenda."_

"_You deserve better than that and…..Wait…..You don't mind?" Santana asked in disbelief. _

"_We are perfectly capable of pulling this off," the small diva assured._

_The Latina cupped the other girl's face before bringing their foreheads together. "I'm not ashamed of you. I'm just scared. I thought I was ready with Brittany but now I'm not so sure that I would have been able to give her what she needed from me."_

"_I don't need everyone to know about us. I just need you," Rachel assured._

"_I don't want to hurt you but I probably will from time to time," the Cheerio admitted._

"_I don't want to aggravate you but that is more than likely to happen here and there," Rachel chuckled._

"_Can we forgo the relationship colander thing? I'm not a fan of having my head on animal bodies" Santana laughed._

"_Only if you kiss me right now."_

_Santana gladly obliged. Seeing as Rachel had been willing to hide their friendship, the taller girl shouldn't have been so surprised but she was. While a major part of her felt relief, she still had a feeling of disappointment linger inside of her._

Chapter One/B-Back Where We Began

_**2011-September**_

_It had been five months of sneaking around and stolen kisses. Santana was genuinely happy, but something was missing. She knew exactly what it was and it had taken her a good month to admit it to herself. _

_She could handle Jewfro's creepy little eyes being pinned to her girl for now because let's face it; Rachel wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole. But Hudson finding any and every reason to grope Rachel was getting on her last nerve. She'd been taking it out on every guy jock dumb enough to cross her path with a goofy smile on his face. She couldn't take it out on the boy she really wanted to cause pain to without the risk of exposing herself, so the rest were made to suffer. _

_But it also encouraged the Latina to solidify her relationship with Rachel by declaring that she wanted to be exclusive for real. She hadn't slept with anyone since she and Rachel had gotten together, but she needed to say it and hear it right back. With that revelation and a very interesting trip to the mall to drive it all home, the Jewish girl learned the pleasantries of sex. Santana was baffled that sweet, virginal, goody-two-shoes Rachel Barbra Berry had such a mouth on her. Rachel's mouth was definitely equally as good at making Santana succumb as it was at rambling out thesaurus driven paragraphs and belting out ballads. Her fingers were pleasantly surprising as well. Rachel was buried knuckle deep into her lover's snug core when Santana added a little surprise of her own by howling "Te Amo. So damn much mi __estrella__" as she came crashing down in a fit of ecstasy. _

_Rachel hadn't been expecting it. Though her girlfriend opened up to her more than anyone else, it wasn't really Santana's style to be talking about her feelings like that. "I love you too," she responded after removing her head from between the other girl's legs. Rather than make a huge deal of it, Rachel kissed the Latina inner thigh and proceeded to coax another outburst from her. She succeeded in her quest as her girlfriends body clinched and convulsed around her digits mere minutes later. _

"_Oh fuck!" The taller girl thought. "So much for the 'sex isn't dating' theory." And with that, her 'never say no," mantra was obliterated too. Rachel was her only yes from now on. She took pleasure in the thought that if she had to break her own rules, so did Rachel. She so didn't wait until she was twenty-five._

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_It wasn't until two weeks into their senior year that Santana realized that she herself might not be as cool with their little arrangement._

"_I swear if I see him put his hands on her one more time I'm going to…" She couldn't even find the right thing to follow. _

"_Then tell him you don't like it," said Brittany._

"_I can't do that without telling him why, Britt" She responded as the two girls sat in the locker room after practice. _

"_So tell him," the blonde girl said it as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. _

_That's when Santana decided that it was her senior year and she'd be damned if she couldn't enjoy it with her hot girlfriend. She was Santana Fucking Lopez and she was just badass enough to have everything she wanted. The thought of keeping it within glee was tempting, however, between Kurt, Tina, and Mercedes gossip fits, a jock with a soon to be bruised ego, and a man whore that was surely going to try to get in on the action; there was no way it was going to stay within the confines of the music room. So if she was going to make this leap she was going to do it in style. She would give Rachel the most cliché grand gesture she both yearned for and deserved. She'd do it in glee and expect it to get around the school by Tuesday morning. She barricaded herself in her bedroom for nearly the whole weekend, claiming to have a migraine, so that her girlfriend wouldn't insist on them spending it together. It was one of the few lies she ever told Rachel but it was worth it. She needed time to find just the right song and figure out how to execute it properly._

_As she walked into the music room on Monday afternoon she saw Finn's lips, fast approaching Rachel's. The little diva had a deer in headlights look in her eyes as she tried to dodge his advancement. Santana let out a yelp at the sight. _

"_What's the problem, Lopez?" Puck yelled as Finn quickly whipped his head around to see what the fuss was about. _

"_I uh stubbed my toe," she said. Brittany smiled up at her as she leaned into Artie. Rachel looked at her with relief. "Where's Schue?" _

"_Something went down with him and Miss Pillsbury," Quinn chuckled as she held Sam's hand. _

_Santana let out an incredulous scoff. "Of course." How that man managed to be late to almost every glee meeting was beyond her. She quickly recovered from her annoyance and gave way to a little relief in the fact that she wouldn't have to contend with their not so fearless leader. "I uh, have a song," she nearly whispered to the group. _

"_What was that?" Quinn asked. Santana rarely volunteered herself to perform extra solos to the group. _

"_I said I have a song," she bit out louder in annoyance. "So sit down and shut up will you?"_

_Rachel didn't say a word. She merely sat down and gazed up at her girlfriend with a smile, hoping not to be too obvious with her adoration. Everyone else sat down as well._

_The song she had chosen was meant to be a duet; however, the Cheerio chose to re-work it so that she could do both parts. So she was worried about the changes she made along with nerves she had about singing a solo in general, singing to a perfectionist Rachel Berry, and revealing herself to the rest of glee. Santana hooked her iPod up to the boom box Mr. Schuester kept in the room then quickly scrolled to the song of her choice, grimacing inward at the thought of having any aspect of __The King and I__ on her iPod. She started off looking straight forward at the back wall. _

_**We kiss in a shadow,  
>We hide from the moon,<br>Our meetings are few,  
>And over too soon. <strong>_

_A smile began to play across the girl's face as she thought about all of those hidden moments she and Rachel had shared. The feeling of being in their own world that nobody else was a part of running through her veins._

_**We speak in a whisper,  
>Afraid to be heard;<br>When people are near,  
>We speak not a word.<br>Alone in our secret,  
>Together we sigh,<br>For one smiling day to be free  
>To kiss in the sunlight<br>And say to the sky:  
>"Behold and believe what you see!<br>Behold how my lover loves me!" **_

_Now she thought about how much better it would be when she publically claimed what was hers. She knew it was a bit cave-mannish but no matter how much Rachel insisted that it wasn't an endearing quality in a person, Santana knew that it got the other girl hot and bothered. Sure it was annoying when some giant oaf, like Man-mountain got all possessive, but when it was Santana it was just plain sexy._

_**We speak in a whisper,  
>Afraid to be heard;<br>When people are near**__,  
><em>

_She began to sway to the tempo, as she slowly propelled herself forward. _

_**We speak not a word.  
>Alone in our secret,<br>Together we sigh,  
>For one smiling day to be free<br>**_

_Everyone with the exception of Brittany, and Rachel assumed that it was a song of declaration to Puck or Brittany. They all waited for either Puck to cut her off, Lauran to crush her, or Brittany's rejection in favor of Artie.__  
><em>

_**To kiss in the sunlight  
>And say to the sky:<br>"Behold and believe what you see!  
>Behold how my lover loves me!"<br>**_

_When they saw Santana's eyes finally land on Rachel, most thought it was a fluke, a mere accident of eye placement. But when Santana walked over to Rachel extending her hand, and Rachel took the proffered hand with sheer glee, the room was struck dumbfounded. _

_**To kiss in the sunlight  
>And say to the sky:<br>"Behold and believe what you see!  
>Behold how my lover loves me!"<strong>_

_She took her girlfriend by the chin and guided their faces together before planting a searing kiss upon the shorter brunette's lips. She snaked her arms around Rachel's waist for emphasis; as not to allow for any miscommunication to one Finn Hudson. _

"_You actually learned a song from a musical just for me?" Rachel said giddily when they parted._

"_Yeah well, it fit the situation," Santana said trying not to sound like a sap. "I meant every word," she amended. _

_Rachel wrapped her arms around the girl and whispered, "That was the sweetest thing ever. You are sure to be thoroughly reciprocated with gratitude of a physical nature later." It took them a few long seconds before they allowed themselves to take in all of the spectators around them._

"_Close your mouth Frankinteen," Santana said smugly. "If you don't keep your damn lips off of my girl, I sure as hell won't hesitate to follow through on that golf club threat. My lips are the only ones allowed on this got it?" She motioned her hand in front of her girlfriend as if to put her on display. _

_Brittany, God bless her, put on her best serious face and said, "Yeah, and don't forget about San's car." Then with a miss placed smile, she leaned into Artie. "So you better keep your hands to yourself." _

"_That's hotness," Puck broke in. "Dude the Puckzilla is all ove…."_

"_Don't you dare finish," Santana glared at him. "I'll bury you under the football field before I let that happen." The boy shrunk back in is seat with a frown as Lauren smacked him in the back of the head. _

"_How long." was all Kurt could manage?_

"_S and Rach have been getting their sweet lady kisses on since April," Brittany laughed._

"_April," Mike and Tina both said astounded._

"_Word," Artie said with a 'yeah, I knew' look on his face._

"_Oh hell to the naw." Mercedes whispered. "Wow!" _

"_Can it wheezy," Santana glared at the black girl with slight annoyance._

"_How did I not see this one coming," Kurt said to himself out loud, ignoring the Latin girl's remark to his friend. _

"_Broken gay-dar I guess," replied Tina._

"_Or maybe it doesn't work for the lesbian kind," added Mike. _

"_I knew about Santana and Brittany," Kurt defended._

"_Everyone knew about Santana and Brittany," Tina quietly shot back, hoping that the three girls in question wouldn't hear her "It may have well have been written in the sky." Sam took that moment to chuckle at the comment._

"_Seriously, S?" Quinn spoke up. "You've been hooking up with Man-Hands since April?" The words lightly startled Santana. Quinn still had her bitchy moments regarding the little diva, however, she hadn't resorted to calling her names in over a year. She'd even surpassed the Latina's name calling time frame where Rachel was concerned. _

"_Shut it, Q," Santana shot at the second blonde Cheerio in the room. "Next time I'll have to bitch slap you. And trust me, these hands," she said, holding up the hand she was currently clutching, "are soft, smooth, and all kinds of talented, but they sure ain't manly." Quinn, Mercedes, and Kurt wore equally horrified looks at the implication. Rachel looked at her partner and blushed. _

"_Whatever," the blonde cheerleading captain muttered under her breath._

"_That goes for all of you. If you have some smart ass comment or a way to put her down, you had better think about whether or not you want to deal with me. I'll go all Lima Heights Adjacent on your asses!" The Latina didn't yell, the comment was said in an even tempered tone, but it was when Santana spoke so calmly while making threats, that she was at her most frightening. She wasn't at all showboating, she meant it completely. _

"_Right," said an amused Lauren, remembering the last time the Latina had sent a threat her way. "That's how you do it in the heights." Everyone in the room knew damn well that Santana hardly lived in the ghetto. She had a nice upper middle-class home just like most of them did. Something about having a doctor, who specialized in endocrinology, as a father and a mother who was an accountant gave it away. The truth was that her aunt lived in the neighborhood she was so readily willing to claim as a scare tactic. Though most of the student body knew, none of them were willing to call her out on it. Lima Heights Adjacent or no, she was still pretty scary when she wanted to be. _

_Everyone stayed quiet for a few moments in order to gage where Santana's attitude was heading. When she didn't burst into anger over Lauren's crack or their gawking, they boldly began to discuss the situation amongst themselves. Santana took the opportunity to grab her girlfriend._

"_Come on, babe," Santana whispered in Rachel's ear._

"_What about glee?" Rachel quarried._

"_Schue's not here anyway and we have a nerd to see."_

"_Santana if we go to Jacob Ben-Israel the status of our relationship is sure to be up on his blog in no less than an hour's time," Rachel warned._

"_Then we better make the most of it," she laughed. "I just can't wait to tell him that he had better find a new girl to stock or I'll rip off his arm and beat him with it. Then we can go to my house and 'study."_

"_Santana, violence is not conducive to our situ….." _

"_Thank god for kisses," Santana breathed when their lips parted. _

"_Yeah," was all Rachel could muster. That was her favorite way of being told to shut up._

_This was about the time Santana Lopez came to the conclusion that she was whipped. While the relationship had started off with Rachel giving more than she got, once the two had become public, Santana found herself doing anything she could to make Rachel happy. They fought but Santana was usually the one to apologize. Rachel's Crazy obsessive streak mixed with Santana's semi- psychotic tendencies managed balanced each other out. The Latina was still tough, but the school dealt with her wrath a lot less, which helped most of them to fall in line and not make a huge deal about the girls as a couple.(Brittany had been right when she'd told Santana that she could physically or verbally destroy anyone that said anything too harsh about her relationship.) Rachel was still a perfectionist but she didn't drive glee club as crazy as she once did. _

RSRSRSRSRSRSR

_**2022**_

Santana slipped back into the present by the ring of her office phone.

"Williams, Taylor, and Dean. Santana Lopez speaking," she answered in her professional voice.

"Love your business voice," she heard Quinn's voice on the other end.

TBC


	2. Hello Old Friend

**Thanks to the readers that reviewed, added my little story to their favorites list and alerts. I very much appreciate it. You all totally ROCK!**

**Chapter Two- Hello Old Friend **

_**2022**_

Santana slipped back into the present by the ringing of her office phone.

"Williams, Taylor, and Dean. Santana Lopez speaking," she answered in her professional voice.

"Love your business voice," she heard Quinn's voice on the other end.

"I'm glad," Santana said wryly. "But you know you should have called on my cell."

"I did, but you didn't answer. I even tried you at home and there wasn't an answer there either."

"Could have left a message," the dark haired woman shot back.

"If I had known you didn't want to talk to me I wouldn't have called," snarled Santana's frienamy, who had grown to be more of a friend than an enemy since high school.

"Sorry, Q. I just have some things going on. Can I call you later?"

"Yes, I suppose it can wait."

"Thanks. Talk to you later." Santana hung up the phone without waiting for Quinn's reply. She gathered up her things and reapplied her coat before stepping back out of her office and heading toward the front entrance.

"Hello, Miss Lopez," chimed Lydia. "You all done for the day?"

Santana smiled at the other woman who was only a few years older than herself and had a head of hair that reminded her of Brittany's when she let it down. "Yes, but I think I'm going to hang around up here for a little while. I think a friend of mine is in Stan's office and I want to say hi."

"Mrs. Howard?" the older woman asked. "She seems like a nice lady."

"She is," Santana said while trying to ignore the Mrs. Placed before Rachel's replacement last name.

"Mr. Dean wants me to come and do some scheduling in his office after the last client leaves. She's the last one." Santana knew what Lydia was asking. She knew that scheduling meant things of a sexual nature. She pretended not to know that one of the senior partners at her law firm was sleeping with one of the receptionists. She also pretended not to know what the consequences for the firm could be should the whole thing become a public scandal. She was only two years in and didn't have enough clout to throw her weight around.

"I'll hang around until she leaves," the Latina said to the blonde woman.

"Thank you Miss Lopez," the woman smiled before heading to her destination.

"No problem," Santana said as she watched the other woman exit the room.

She sat down and checked her watch. It had been about forty-five minutes since she heard that voice. It felt like it had been hours. She sat that way, checking her watch every minute or so for the next ten before she heard the voice again.

"Thank you," she heard her former lover say. "I appreciate you taking me on as a client. My fathers have agreed to help me pay the fees."

"This probably won't be an easy one to win," she heard Stan say. "You're going to need to find a more suitable place to stay. A one bedroom with three women and a child isn't going to look very stable in the judge's eyes."

"I'm working on that. I'll take care of it," was the reply.

"See that you do. I'll see you in a week." Stan wasn't as cold as he seemed. He was just a get to the point kind of guy. Santana was similar when it came to clients. "Like I said before, you can't file for at least fifty-seven more days, but you need to be able to make a show of your stability should custody become an issue."

"Thanks again, bye."

The dark haired lawyer watched as Rachel turned the corner. It all seemed to happen slowly. While she had suspected the woman was **her** Rachel, it hadn't been undeniably confirmed until the second their eyes met.

"Santana?" Rachel's chocolate orbs went wide. "I…What are you….Wow, it's… You look great."

Rachel lunged forward to wrap her arms around her ex. "You look pretty good too. What brings the great Miss Berry to the windy city? And to my law firm no less." Santana chuckled at the easiness of her words. She was worried that she wouldn't know what to say if she ever got to speak to Rachel again.

"I've been here for around a month now. We moved here from Boise. What about you? I knew you were going to be a big time lawyer, I just thought you would be one in California or something."

"I needed a change of scenery. Got an offer a couple of years ago and here I am," She finally managed to pry herself out of the former diva's arms long enough to get another look at her. She was as beautiful as ever but she was different. She wore a pair of blue jeans, a long sleeve white blouse and blue sneakers. Rachel's hair was the same color but now it was in a pixie cut.

"I'm glad you're living out your dreams," the shorter of the two said sincerely. Santana was living out her professional dreams yet her love life hadn't quite matched up, but she didn't say so.

"Are you?" the raven-haired woman asked. She knew Rachel hadn't done any Broadway shows for nearly six years. She knew this because she found herself googling the smaller woman's name in reference to New York productions and hadn't found anything post six years prior when she had snuck into town to see the Diva's performances and left without so much as a quick hello. She didn't even tell Brittany or Quinn when she had.

"My priorities changed," the diva said glancing down to her feet.

Santana covered up the annoyance she felt inside. The whole reason she broke Rachel's heart along with her own, was so that the other brunette would follow her dreams to Broadway rather than stifle herself by following Santana to the UCLA and inevitably resent her for it.

"Oh," Santana breathed.

The taller woman didn't have time to say much else because the door opened revealing two women and a child around the age of four or five. She was about to tell the couple that the Office was closed for the day when the little brunette child flung herself at her past love.

"Mommy, I went on the swing and Auntie Erin pushed me really high."

"Auntie Erin better be careful," Rachel declared, looking up at the 5'9 skinny woman with the short black haircut. It had blonde streaks in it and had that unkempt on purpose kind of look to it. The Latina thought that Rachel must constantly reprimand the woman, who she assumed was Erin, because of the wildness of her hair. "If anything were to happen to you I'd have to get her with a golf club." Santana smiled bashfully as she peered at her feet.

Rachel took another look at her daughter and inwardly berated herself for making a physical threat toward another person in her child's presents.

"First off," said a Korean woman with shoulder length auburn hair. She wasn't more than a few inches taller than Santana, "I won't let you take my woman out like that. And secondly, what is up with you and golf club threats?"

Santana couldn't help herself. She had to speak up. "That was one of my favorite ways to threaten anyone that pis…" Santana took note of the child before her and changed her wording, "that paid too much attention to Rach."

The attention in the room curved to the once silent fifth party. "Oh I'm so rude," stated Rachel in apology. "Santana these are my good friends Erin and Nomi," she motioned to each of the women before crouching down to the little girl's level. "And this little one here is Paige." Then she motioned toward the lawyer saying, "Ladies, this is my friend Santana."

"Like me," the little girl squealed out.

"Yep," the girl's mother confirmed. "Just like you."

The little girl must have sensed Santana's confusion because she went on to clarify. "Mommy only uses it when I'm in trouble." The girl frowned for a millisecond before her smile returned. "When I kicked Joey for taking my juice box, Mommy said, 'Paige Santana Howard, you apologize right this instant." Santana couldn't help but laugh at the child's impersonation of her mother.

"Mommy isn't a big fan of violence, tiny tot" she told the girl.

The child's eyes went downcast as if her whole mood had changed. "I need to go to the bathroom," she said sullenly.

"I'll take her," offered Nomi. "I saw one across the hall."

"Thanks," said Rachel with a soft smile still planted firm on her face.

The woman took the girl's hand and walked to the door. As soon as the two were out of eyesight Erin found herself looking at Santana with intense green eyes though a smile managed to maintain across her face. "So you're the famous Santana Lopez?"

"That's me," the lawyer replied with an equally intimidating look in her dark orbs. She had softened a little throughout the years but she was still above being intimidated.

"It's good to meet the woman behind the name," Erin said as her eyes softened. "I heard about you quite a bit at Julliard. Ray and I were roommates. Well we're kind of roommates now too I guess."

"It's temporary," Rachel chirped, hoping that she wasn't blushing at Erin's comment. "My attorney tells me that I need to get on another place to live like yesterday. All of us in that apartment won't help my case."

"Custody?" Santana asked quizzically.

"And divorce," Rachel said with a frown. Santana knew it had to do with family law because that was what Stan specialized in. She hadn't given herself time to question what exactly he might be doing for her former lover. She'd heard Rachel and the senior partner talking, but was too mesmerized at the prospect of seeing the shorter woman to actually absorb the words spoken.

"He's a prick," Erin said with a huff. All Santana was able to gather was that Rachel was divorcing a man. She didn't know him, or anything about their marriage. Hell, she didn't even know his name, but the fact that this woman she just met called him a prick, made her feel like she just might like her.

"Erin," Rachel protested. "I don't want to take any chances that Paige may hear something like that about her father."

"She already knows, Ray. She isn't blind," insisted the tall woman.

Rachel just shook her head and looked back to Santana. "He seems to believe that he's in an open marriage but I'm not."

Santana wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel. Rachel had been married and had a child as a result. Her marriage was about to be over and Santana had no place in any of that. The thought of being so close to the object of her affections, yet having no rights to be a part of her life was painful at best. "Well I don't know the guy, but I think your friend here might be a pretty good judge of character. She's friends with you and all, right?"

Erin smirked in victory. "Great now I'll never hear the end of it," the former glee clubber rolled her eyes and grumbled.

"Damn right," Erin laughed. "I'm going to go check in on my girls."

The two former Lima residents watched as she exited the door.

"So you're a mommy." Santana looked adoringly. "She's beautiful."

"She is," Rachel said proudly.

"Paige Santana?"

"Maybe I just needed a Santana in my life," Rachel giggled.

"Listen, I know it's been a really long time and things didn't quite end on the best of terms but I really am glad to see you," said taller brunette.

"It's a surprise," replied Rachel. "But a good one."

"You think maybe we could keep in touch? Have dinner or something?" Santana was hopeful but not unrealistic.

"Meet me here next week? I have an appointment same time," smiled Rachel.

"That would be great. Maybe I could get your phone number?"

"Let's see how dinner goes," replied the former diva.

"I can work with that." Santana escorted Rachel out to join her roommates and child before departing in the direction of her car.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSR**

The diminutive brunette couldn't wrap her head around how she could carry a torch for someone she had no contact with for ten years. She'd often wonder how she'd react if she'd be given the opportunity to see her ex flame again. For the first two years following the breakup she was sure she'd go running into the other woman's arms and beg to be allowed back in. As time went on she believed that no matter how much she loved her, she and the former HBIC of McKinley High would be past the point of return when it came to anything romantic; however, could possibly be friends. After she found that she'd become pregnant and married the father of her child, Rachel had decided that she'd had different priorities. She'd begun to withdraw from all of her friends and ended up in Idaho with her husband and child. Had the opportunity presented itself a year prior, she probably would have hyperventilated and removed herself from the situation as fast as she could. But now here she was on the verge of divorce with a kid for goodness sake, and feeling this overwhelming urge to grab her ex and tell her she still wanted her. She wouldn't of course. There was too much for her to deal with already. There had been too much time to pass between them. Santana had a life that hadn't included Rachel for years and vice versa, though she couldn't see herself letting Santana out of her life again when they were so close. As irrational as it was in her head, she couldn't let the other woman slip away. So she would suck it up and settle on the friends aspect. She would be …..buddies with the Latina.

Okay, so she was being illogical. How on earth was she going to be able to be around the other woman and not feel that flash of heat that so easily claimed her body just a few hours prior? Less than twenty minutes with her former lover left her swimming in memories that she had worked so hard to suppress. Visions of making out on Santana's bed, and fooling around in her own bedroom, wormed their way into the former diva's mind once again. Their senior prom seemed to stick out in her brain the most. Rachel had a lot of great times with Santana, but that night was the first time she really felt like she was truly the cheerleader's heart. She knew Santana loved her. That was one of the things she felt completely. However, that night was different than all of the date nights and little public displays of affection.

The girls hadn't been able to attend their junior prom together so it was imperative to both of them to make their senior prom a superlative one. The parents Lopez split the cost of the Limo with the Berry's. Mr. and Mrs. Lopez's had insisted on driving their daughter to the Berry house so that they could be present went the girls left. Rachel readily agreed though Santana had to make a show of her annoyance. In truth the Latina was giddy at the thought of her parents being so excited about it all. There had been a time that she was afraid that they wouldn't accept her relationship. She didn't know how she would tell them about having a girlfriend. Before she ever openly acknowledged being with the other girl, Santana struggled to find a way to tell her parents. Luckily (or maybe it was creepier than anything) the worry over coming out was quashed by Mrs. Lopez. She had walked in on the pair in a heated kiss. Santana flew into a bout of stammering out explanations, while Rachel began to babble incoherently. Mrs. Lopez vetoed both of them by saying, "I guess your father and I can stop pretending that we don't know what is going on. At least I was spared this awkwardness with Brittany." The woman left the two girls gaping as she walked back through the bedroom door.

She wouldn't admit it to anyone but Rachel, who had the decency not to tease her girlfriend about it, the sight of the songstress made her a little teary. She watched as her shorter counterpart descended the stairs. Yes it was a cliché' scene from every teen movie or TV show since the seventies, but it didn't make the moment feel any less genuine. Rachel's hair was in an up do of loose curls and she dawned a white and silver strapless formal dress with a sparkling bodice that cascades into the full white tulle skirt. It reminded Santana of a sexy cross between a wedding gown, and the dress Glenda the good which wore. She wore silver four inch heels but they weren't visible under the skirt of the gown. It matched the Diva's personality to a tee.

Not to be outdone, Santana wore a white strapless gown that landed inches above the knee. A black piece of fabric lined her midriff and there was one lace shoulder strap which led into the skirt. This was all complimented by a black pair of what her mother called "hooker heels." She wore her hair down the way Rachel loved it. And even though Quinn told her it was gaudy and didn't go with her look at all, she still went out of her way to wear the charm bracelet. They both supplied each other with corsages that ended up being nearly identical. White carnations graced their wrists.

They met Quinn, Sam, Brittany, and Artie at Breadstix, as Artie and Sam split the cost of the limo the four shared. Santana forwent the overload of breadsticks she usually gorged on due to the need to not feel bloated at prom. The dance was held at the Hilton, the only nice hotel in town. The theme was "In the clouds", which even Rachel had to admit was bland, but they didn't care all that much. Quinn and Finn made prom king and queen, much to Sam's chagrin. As much as she hated Finn, Santana kind of enjoyed seeing Sam with a little egg on his face. She always knew that the bleached blond only began dating Quinn for popularity, even if he ended up genuinely caring about her. Plus she always got this creeped out incestuous feel whenever she saw the two being affectionate, though she never said so out loud. Rachel had, but only to her. The other girl's social mores had improved immensely in their time together.

They skipped out on the after parties to spend time together alone. Contrary to popular belief, they didn't spend the whole night having traditional prom night sexcapades in some rented room. They hung out in their limo and talked for a few hours and then went back to Santana's and watched movies on the sofa. Okay, so there was a lot of kisses and heavy petting but that was the extent of it, at least for that night. It was all so simple but meant so much.

Rachel had been sure that Santana loved her for a myriad of reasons. She was sure that any of the guys she had been with would have pressured her to have sex that night. Especially if she'd already allowed it to happen in the past, but Santana just wanted to spend time with her girl. That was something she felt through and through. With Noah she'd wanted to make Finn jealous and Noah more or less wanted her to appease his mother. She'd cared for Jesse because he understood her drive the way no one else could. At first she wanted to make Finn regret his choices but she did care for Jesse. His intentions hadn't always been noble and he ended up humiliating her, but part of her thought that she deserved it for the games she'd played with the three boys. Then eventually she had Finn and she messed that up too. But when she really thought about it, all three of them made her feel that she was lucky to be with them, which was a great thing except for the fact that she had the distinct feeling that they felt she was lucky to have them too, never the other way around. With Santana she knew she was lucky to have her and Santana reciprocated those sentiments. With the guys she'd dated, she'd been clingy and had been told as much. She didn't always trust that they would stay with her, and it turned out that she'd been right. Though with the Latina, she trusted everything they had without question. Even when Finn repeatedly swore that Santana would screw up, she'd refused to believe it. She knew that her girlfriend was with her completely, after all she had been the first that truly defended her to the masses at school, even if it involved threats and sometime follow-through.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"I'm going to tell her I changed my mind. I can't go and spend time with her like we haven't spent the last ten years getting each other out of our systems," Rachel said franticly as she sat in the passenger's seat of the silver ford focus next to Erin. "I mean really? The universe is screwing with me."

"Nobody said this has to be anything but friendship. I'm sure she'll understand that you aren't looking for romance or anything," Erin said back.

"It isn't her I'm worried about," the former diva confessed. "Seeing her stirs up all of these feelings that I just don't know how to deal with. You know what it used to be like when we first met. I was a mess."

"You weren't a mess. You were just trying to sort out a broken heart."

"I was a mess and you know it," Rachel retorted.

"Okay, maybe a little bit of a mess," The lanky taller woman chuckled.

Rachel shot the other woman a little glare. "And here I am a mess again. I'm gearing up for a divorce and probably a custody battle. What the hell is wrong with me? I haven't seen her in years and God help me I….. I'm unbelievably fucked up."

Erin sighed deeply and grabbed hold of Rachel's hand. "Honey I love you. I know we lost touch for a few years but I never stopped thinking of you as a friend. From the moment I heard from you again last year, I was so happy to know you again so I understand that she wants to know you again too."

"I'm not the same girl," the smaller woman said flatly. "I'm not that wide eyed overly optimistic dreamer. I'm not her damn estrella anymore."

"Then let her meet the woman you are now. She can be a friend because Ray, you need all the friends you can get. Nomi and I are the only people you talk to. It's been like that ever since you moved to this town," Erin urged.

"I called her after the miscarriage," Rachel stated. "I hadn't seen her in so long but she was the one person I wanted to comfort me. I thought she was the only one that could. When she answered I felt so guilty for wanting her comfort after I chose not to see her for so long. I hung up without saying a word."

"So you called me."

"And like a great friend you were there for me when I called. Even though I cut you out a long time ago," Rachel gave a sad smile.

"Friends know how to forgive too," Erin said before leaning over to hug the other woman. "I think you should let her in at least a little bit."

"Rachel held tight before as she whispered, "That's the problem. I don't think I could stop myself if I wanted to."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The two women sat in awkward silence at the little diner down the street from the law office, both perusing the menu longer than needed in order to avoid trying to come up with casual conversation. Santana was nursing a glass of water with lemon and her dinner companion sipped away at a diet coke. They were luckily spared a few more minutes as the waitress' voice pierced the nervous quietness between them. "Hello I'm Donna and I'll be taking over for Logan," the woman said in a chipper voice. Apparently the not so happy to be there waiter that they had originally been assigned had been dismissed. "Do you ladies know what you want?"

Rachel motioned for Santana to go first. The Latina took a sip of her water before saying "Yeah, I'll have the chicken pot pie and a side salad, Italian dressing on the side please."

"Alright," The black haired middle aged woman said as she scribbled on her pad. Then she leaned in Rachel's direction and asked, "And what can I get you?"

"Um, the grilled chicken breast and roasted vegetable medley looks good," The Jewish woman answered a bit hesitantly. I'll have a side salad as well pleas with ranch."

"Got it," replied the waitress as she collected the menus. "Just call me over if you need me," she smiled and walked away.

"So," Santana bit her bottom lip. "Chicken huh? That doesn't seem like a very vegan friendly choice, Berry.

Rachel giggled and cocked her head from her side of the booth. "That didn't last past the first year at Julliard."

"Apparently neither did the plaid skirts and argyles," the woman joked eyeing the blue v-neck top that her companion wore. "Not that I didn't find a major appreciation for the skirts."

"Those didn't last past first semester," the former diva smirked.

"Please say the pants suit went with them," Santana chided.

"Hey," the little brunette said with mock offence, "I wouldn't be talking if I were you." She pointed at the other woman's attire.

"Hey I need them because I went from badass to badass lawyer. My career requires them. You were a teenager in high school," she defended.

"Point taken," the other woman smiled.

"You kind of talk differently too," Santana said before she could stop herself.

"Well it turns out that it wasn't just kids in high school that didn't appreciate my love of words and ramble." Rachel said wryly and then added, "Or should I say my love for hearing myself say those words."

"It took us some time but most of us learned to embrace it," replied the taller woman with a grin. "Of course if Quinn were here she'd probably send up a major prayer of thanks for the change."

"Probably," Rachel agreed "So do you two keep in touch?"

"Yep," Santana began. "She's married to a computer geek, going on three years."

"That's great," replied Rachel.

"Yeah, she kind of loves him. Name's James. The wedding was nice. Somehow she got me in a hideous pink taffeta bridesmaid dress. I'm forever traumatized." Rachel laughed out loud. "She's an insurance adjuster in Modesto." Santana smiled at the turn in comfort.

"Good for her," Rachel smiled genuinely. "And Britt? Do you talk with her?"

"She and Artie are in Cincinnati. They got back together again for the eighth time last month. I swear the whole on again off again thing is some kind of foreplay for them." Santana scrunched her nose at the admission. "She runs a dance studio and he spends all day in a lab doing God knows what," The Latina informed.

"I'm so proud of that girl," she smirked before her face fell. "I wish I would have stayed in touch with her. Once I got myself knocked up I pretty much had a one track mind. Surprise fucking surprise, right?" Santana knew that self-deprecating tone. People, herself included, used to berate her ex for her intensity as an aspiring starlet and even though she tried not to let it show, it often bothered her.

"You don't do anything half way, Berry," Santana said trying to lighten the conversation once more. "I don't really keep up with the others though. Q tells me that Kurt and Mercedes are in San Francisco. Total shocker," she said sarcastically. "Kurt owns a boutique with his 'partner', some guy like ten years older than him. Mercedes is a choir teacher and her husband teaches math at the same school. They've been together five years. Didn't make the wedding though. Must have lost my invitation in the mail," she joked. Rachel simply laughed along. "They have a two year old boy, Quinn sent me picture of him. Cute kid, even if he does have his dad's guppy lips."

"Santana Lopez," Rachel chided.

"What, it's true?" Santana chuckled.

"I thought you hadn't met him?" The smaller brunette questioned.

I said I didn't go to the wedding," Santana replied. I've met the guy. As a matter of fact, so have you." Santana took a moment to take in the confused look on her ex-lover's face before relenting and spilling the goods. "It's Sam."

"What? Sam Evens?"

"Yep. They kept in touch after high school and one day I guess they decided to give it a go. According to Q, he'd been sniffing around that girl since a couple of weeks after he and Q called it quits. Out of loyalty to her, she told him they could only be friends. Finally he called Quinn and begged her to tell Mercedes that she was cool with them getting together. I guess it worked."

"That is so sweet. He waited for her to be ready." Rachel was always the romantic type.

Santana wanted to tell her ex that that was nothing; that it had been ten years since she had been able to be with the woman she'd wanted and how it was unfair that she may never get the chance. Instead she opted to move along from all the mushy crap that would only cause her more pain. "Oh, and Finn is working on an oil rig in Alaska. Puck is in Washington. He owns a few body shops with Lauran. They aren't together or anything, just business partners. Q thinks he's trying to get her back, but the girl just won't budge."

"They all sound well," Rachel nodded before adding, "I knew Noah could be more than a jailbird for his whole life. I'll admit that whole relationship kind of freaked me out a bit, but she was the only girl that didn't swoon just because he showed some interest. She made him work for it and when he stopped delivering, she moved on."

"Yeah, your faith was always greater than mine. I'm still waiting for him to call me up seeking legal advice," Santana chuckled and included, "For the both of them." The smaller brunette sighed with a smile.

"He and I don't talk on the phone or anything, but up until a year ago we did exchange birthday and Hanukkah cards," The tiny woman admitted, causing Santana's brow to arch. "I guess keeping in touch with him kind of made me feel connected to the rest of you. We didn't talk about our personal lives or anything," the woman continued, trying to stave off the wrath that she was sure to receive.

"So while Britt, Q, and I were playing the where in the world is Rachel Berry game, he knew the whole time?" Santana asked, focusing her annoyance more at the man who had feigned ignorance all this time.

"He didn't know where I was exactly. I used a P.O. Box. As far as I know, he doesn't know about my marriage or Paige. The first time I sent him a card for Hanukkah, he sent a letter asking questions about where I was and what was going on with me. I told him that I just wanted to limit our contact to cards and, he was okay with that. I figured he'd be the only one that would be. Other than a slip up here or there about the state of he and Lauran's relationship, we kept it simple."

She'd realized a few days after she'd declared her love for Rachel in front of the glee club that Puck and Rachel had a friendship that ran a bit deeper than anyone really knew. It started off with him giving his own personal version of the 'you hurt her, I'll make you pay' speech, which of course followed the, 'If I wasn't so in to Big Mama, I'd demand a peek here and there. I guess I'll add it to the spank bank anyway' filth. A few days after that, Santana nearly killed the boy when he mentioned naked bath times he and the little singer had once shared. It took Rachel pulling out a picture album and showing off embarrassing childhood pictures of the two of them to calm the seething Latina. There were photographs of the two-year-old duo engulfed in a sea of bubbles and very much ecstatic about it. She still wanted to punch Puck for the deliberate innuendo, but she decided that the pictures she'd now seen of him, from a naked toddler to a crying eleven year old on the sidewalk after Rachel accidently split his lip while roughhousing, more than made up for it. The pair hadn't been as close since the sixth grade, but they still had a bond that no amount of slushy or popularity could sever.

Santana choked down the feeling of betrayal that settled in her throat and continued talking as if the other woman hadn't just told her that of all people she chose to make contact with, it had to be Noah Fucking Puckerman. "Anyway I heard Tina was living in Ireland with some guy she met a while back. I don't know what ever happened with Matt or Mike." The lawyer stopped for a seconded before adding "And then there's you." The aversion wasn't lost on Rachel, though she thought better of calling the other woman out on her feelings.

"Me?" dark eyes caught another pair of dark. "I'm about to be a damn divorcé before I'm thirty because I got pregnant and left everyone and everything behind." There was that tone again. She laughed her way through the sentence but the hurt under it didn't go unnoticed.

"So, how goes the hunt for a suitable living space?"

"Found a sublet. Her daughter is living in Paris and is having pregnancy complications." Santana noticed the grimace that briefly plagued her friend's face. "She wants to be there for her until the baby is a bit older. She's leaving in three weeks, but she's willing to stay with her sister starting next week so I can move some stuff in. That will buy me over six months to figure everything out."

"That's great Rach," She was relieved at the revelation. It took everything in her not to go about finding a decent place for her ex to live. She nearly asked her to stay with her. She'd bought a three bedroom two bathroom just because she could, but it was a lonely space. Thankfully she was a workaholic and could

usually keep herself busy, though it didn't give her much time to meet people. She hadn't made friends during her two years in the city, which made Rachel's reentry into her life that much better. But she knew asking Rachel to stay with her at this point would be too much too fast, and she'd most likely be turned down anyway. "So, tell me about tiny tot. She screams future badass."

"She does have a few of your former qualities. She terrorizes little boys on the playground and she's sassy. I'm hoping she displays some of your more admirable qualities from childhood, over the scary tyrant ones," Rachel chuckled. "But I must admit that you seem to have mellowed out quite a bit as well. We both changed a bit."

"Well I grew up. We both did. But I'm still a badass in the courtroom," Santana said proudly.

"I have no doubt," was the reply. "Badass tax attorney extraordinaire," she laughed.

"Hey I work with patens too," Santana said with mock offence.

"Oh well in that case," the smaller brunette mocked before straightening her demeanor. "No seriously, I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks," the Latin girl returned warmly and then cleared her throat. "So, I do believe you owe me a breakdown about your tiny tot."

Before Rachel went into a full breakdown of all that was Paige, she reached over the table and grabbed Santana's cell. "What are you doing?" She asked with a confused smile.

"Putting my number in your phone. It may change but if it does I'll warn you," Rachel smiled as she punched the keys and then hit the call button. Her phone buzzed for a few seconds and then she disconnected the call. "So I know who it is that's calling," she explained before handing back the phone. "Santana only smiled. "So Paigy just turned five and she's going on at least eight…"


	3. I've Been Missing You

Chapter Three - I've Been Missing You

"Of course you two would end up in the same city," Quinn rolled her eyes to herself as she huffed into the phone.

"It's meant to be," said Brittany brightly into her own receiver.

"It's weird," spat Quinn.

"Seriously guys, I feel this happiness that I haven't felt in a long time," said Santana sullenly.

"You don't sound it," replied Brittany.

"It's just that a lot of time has passed and she doesn't have that same hungry spark anymore."

"And that's a bad thing?" questioned Quinn.

"It wouldn't be if it was just that. I get that she changed her cloths. I understand why her vocabulary got dialed down a notch….or three. She even curses," Santana scoffed. "When the kid isn't around," she amended under her breath, unheard by the others. "She only ever did that in bed."

"TMI, thank you," Quinn cut in.

The Latina ignored the comment and continued. "Hell I even get scrapping the whole vegan thing but Broadway? She gave up on fucking Broadway. I've yet to even hear her sing."

"Did you ask her what that was all about?" asked Brittany.

"She said her priorities had changed."

"Well there you go," snarled Quinn in jest.

"I'm hoping we can talk more when we meet up at the park this weekend," replied Santana.

"Aw you're taking her to the park? You can totally get her back," bubbled Brittany.

"The park? Really? What are you guys like five," came Quinn's voice.

"No, though her daughter is."

"Berry has a kid?" Quinn was shocked.

"Yep, one of her other priorities. But get this," she said, not being able to hold back the joy in her voice. "Her name is Paige Santana."

"Wow," was all Quinn could muster.

"Yay, another Santana," chimed Brittany.

"She said something about wanting another Santana in her life. Apparently when she was pregnant, Rachel had this urge to watch cheerleading and kickboxing competitions," she said with a wry laugh.

"Must have been the horney part of pregnancy," Quinn drawled.

"Ha ha," Santana mocked. "The girl is a tough one. She took all kinds of pride in telling me that she kicked some little ingrate's ass when he stole her juice box."

"No way in hell a kid of Berry's said that."

Santana bashfully altered her reported answer. "Okay so she said she kicked some kid named Joey over taking a juice box. Either way, that kid's a scrapper."

"You just want Berry to be saddled with a pint-sized version of you," Quinn quipped.

"A girl can dream," Santana shot back.

"Santana was fun when we were kids," Brittany pouted.

"I know, Britt," Quinn breathed into the phone. "I was just teasing her a bit."

"I'm looking forward to getting to know her," Santana's smile could be heard in her voice.

"God, Berry's been in your life for what…. a few weeks? She's already got you all sappy over some kid that isn't even yours." Quinn feigned an annoyed tone.

"She isn't just any kid Q," Brittany said in her 'duh' voice. "She's Rachel's." The tone in Brittany's voice had a slight hitch. Santana knew by the change that Brittany had just realized how hurt she was by the knowledge that Rachel had had a child and she didn't know. She had been the last of the gleeks that Rachel kept in touch with. Brittany had been the only link to Rachel's life that Santana had. It was through the tall blonde that the Latina had learned of Rachel's off- Broadway role and a year later an actual Broadway role, even though she always googled it too. She hadn't exactly starred in them but it was still a big deal to her. Santana found herself sneaking in to town for the sake of seeing her estrella on stage, but she'd never tell anyone she'd actually gone. Somehow Brittany knew but never actually brought it up. It had been nearly six years ago that the little brunette seemed to drop off the face of the planet entirely and Brittany had obviously been saddened by it. Quinn gained a renewed animosity for the diva after seeing the look in Brittany's eyes. Santana was upset on her behalf as well, but she couldn't force herself to feel too much anger toward someone she still loved so much, especially when Brittany always put a happy spin on it all.

"I can't wait to see you guys," Santana said trying to divert her friend back to her happy place. She'd opted not to mention that Puck had been in contact with the tiny diva over the years. "Glad you could pry yourselves away from your men for a week."

"Hey don't be mad at us because you're an old maid," laughed Quinn.

"San isn't a maid, or old" Brittany defended.

"Thanks B. As much as I love this, I need to get back to work. Start making a list of the shit you want to do when you get here. Only three weeks to get it together ,bitches."

"I want to see Rach and the baby," Brittany said happily.

"I'll ask her Britt."

"Talk to you later guys," Quinn said, having had enough Rachel talk.

"Okay, Bye," said Brittany.

"Later," Santana said before hanging up the phone.

RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS

Rachel sat on the park bench as her child played on the slide with a little Hispanic girl. Nomi and the other child's mother looked on as they were discussing something to do with journalism because they both knew each other through their freelancing gigs with local newspapers and journals. Rachel allowed herself to be lost in her thoughts as she remembered her first year at Julliard. The first two weeks she kept to herself outside of classes. She'd lie around her dorm room staring at her ex's picture and crying every so often. Sometimes Brittany, Noah, or her dads would call and there would be a reprieve but for the most part she was a mope. When Rachel looked back on it she was surprised that her roommate put up with it for so long. Erin was not the type to deal with a stick in the mud. Finally the taller girl insisted that Rachel put on something hot and go with her to a party. Though she adamantly protested, she eventually caved because she'd actually met her match when it came to unrelenting conviction.

**September-2012**

"_Maybe you'll meet something hot to distract you from the girl you're all depressed over," Erin joked. "But not in that," she pointed at Rachel's signature sweater/argyle/skirt combo._

_Rachel allowed her roommate to give her a makeover, which she should have been used to by then. Oddly enough that was the first one to actually stick. Erin dressed Rachel in a black halter top and a matching skirt that was a little long on the tiny diva because the lanky girl was so much taller. It took two shots of tequila for the girl to loosen up and six for her to get just plain loose. She found herself dancing between two fairly hot girls that attended NYU. One of them was 5'7 with short blonde hair that reminded her a bit of "Quinn but less, well 'Quinn-like,' and she told the girl so. The other was a Hispanic girl that was only a couple of inches taller than her. Her hair was just a tad lighter than Santana's but she wasn't Santana. She knew this and the knowledge was painful, but that night she felt like the girl would just have to do. Later Erin actually praised her for having gotten out of her own head and into the sexy Latina chick's pants. _

_She'd go on like that for a couple of months. At first she'd go out with Erin to parties and scope out the room for any cute Latina with dark hair she could find and they'd find some place to screw. She'd never let them near the most sensitive place between her legs, nor would she be with any of them twice. That was reserved for the one she really wanted. Rachel was using them and she had no qualms about it. She openly admitted it to each and every one of them just before she'd lower herself between their legs to draw out that cry of ecstasy she craved to hear. She was searching for her cheerleader in all of the moans and grunts but never seemed to be able to manage it. As soon as whichever random girl she was with came she'd find the nearest faucet to clean up in and get back to her dorm room. After it had gone on for weeks Erin started to worry. "This isn't healthy," she'd say. "I get that you have a type and all, but this is ridiculous." Rachel just scoffed and began to go out on her own. _

_One afternoon Rachel found herself going down on a girl named Ria, who's name she only managed to remember because she actually shared a few classes with the girl. She had tried to avoid fucking girls she saw on a regular basis but the girl had been recently persistent. Apparently Rachel had a reputation for something entirely different than she had once hoped. She was on her knees in the girl's dorm room with a leg draped over her shoulder, her face buried between dark thighs when she heard the fateful words. "So good, __estrella__!" Rachel didn't give herself time to think. She threw herself back away from her classmate and quickly ran out of the room. The next few weeks Ria not only dominated her time in class, but seemed to be everywhere Rachel went. She was determined to talk to the little brunette but Rachel just wasn't up to it. Eventually she relented, however, the rest of the semester left them feeling awkward in each other's company. Thankfully the holiday break was soon to arrive. Rachel ended her salacious activities after the incident. _

"Hey stranger," she heard over her thoughts. "Come around here often?"

"Please say you've never used that on anyone else," she rolled her eyes.

"Would you be jealous if I said yes?" Santana joked.

"No, but I would want to know what poor soul you used it on so I could send them a written apology," Rachel joked back.

"I'll get back to you on that," chimed Santana.

"I'll hold you to it."

"Good," the lawyer smirked. "So B and Q are coming out for a week."

"Oh?" Rachel asked a little surprised.

" It's been in the works for a while." Santana bit down lightly on her bottom lip.

"I'm sure it'll be fun."

"They want to see you," Santana grinned.

"I know Quinn and I learned to be somewhat friendly and all, but somehow I doubt she's dying to see me," the smaller woman chuckled.

"Well, more specifically Brittany wants to see you," the lawyer corrected.

"I'd love to see Britt," Rachel beamed. "I guess I wouldn't hate seeing Quinn either."

"How did the move go? You know I could have helped."

"There wasn't much to move. I only took what Erin and Nomi's cars could hold when I left. I ah, sold mine." Santana didn't ask questions. She figured if it was something her friend wanted her to know, she'd tell her on her own.

"Mommy, Santana, come play," Paige yelled form the swings.

"We'll be right there, Baby," yelled Rachel.

Santana stood up and extended her hand to Rachel. "Cool your jets, tiny tot," she laughed as the shorter woman took the proffered hand and allowed herself to be lead to the swing set.

RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS

Santana had found the perfect opportunity to spend time with the girl she already felt a bond with. Rachel had to give a few voice lessons back to back, and her normal go to girls both had to work. She had been just as excited as the five-year-old to have a special day indulging on pizza and ice cream. She was even excited to watch some Disney blue rays, even if she did pretend not to like them with everyone else, including Rachel.

"So tiny tot, I'm thinking the Princess and the Frog next," the lawyer mused. "Or maybe Toy Story."

"The first one," the child said after placing her pointer finger on her chin, making a show of thinking. "The Princess and the Frog. We can sing along."

"Like to sing, huh?"

"Sometimes," the girl answered. But I like it when Mommy sings more. Sometimes I can get her to sing to Disney with me but usually she just watches."

Santana furrowed her brows. "Mommy doesn't like to sing?"

"No, not really. She sings to me before bed sometimes though." Paige looked to her lap. "But she won't even sing to the radio."

"But she teaches other people to sing, right," Santana questioned.

"Yes, but I don't get to be there and Mommy doesn't like it much. She says she does it because she has to stick to what she knows. She's always sad after."

"Well I'll sing with you." Santana said. "And if you want, we can blast the radio after the movie and sing and dance all over the place."

"Really?" The little girl's eyes went wide with joy.

"Yep," The Latina laughed. "I think I have some CD's that we made when your mommy and I sang with the glee club when we were in school together. Singing was her favorite thing back then."

"What's a glee club," the tiny brunette asked, scrunching her nose.

Santana was nearly in shock. She couldn't believe that her ex hadn't tried to at least give her daughter some musical highlight of her life. Rachel had been two years younger than her daughter when she dove head first into Broadway training and she was only eight months old when she won her first singing competition. "What's glee?" The older brunette asked incredulously. "It's only the best kind of choir ever," she added with exaggerated pride. "We sang a lot of songs together and your mom was the star!"

"Can we listen to it?" The little girl clapped her hands, wide eyed as she spoke. Santana's heart melted a little at the look of amazement reflecting back at her from those grey eyes.

"We can listen to it and watch some of the DVDs we made. You are going to love it," Santana couldn't help but be giddy as she bounced over to the trunk where she kept all of her high school memorabilia. The two had had a blast singing and dancing and watching the DVDs. Unfortunately, Paige had not been mistaken about Rachel's attitude after giving lessons. When she came and collected her child, her demeanor had changed drastically from when she'd dropped the girl off that Saturday morning. She came back with dejected eyes, only masked by her old false Broadway smile.

Santana hadn't made real friends in the two years she'd lived in the city. Her life had been all about work so when she and Rachel found themselves hanging out fairly regularly after the first dinner they shared, she was more than delighted. Though Rachel had been inside of Santana's house a couple of times, once Rachel moved into her sublet apartment, the two took to spending time there because the smaller woman felt bad about relying so much on Nomi and Erin to babysit and she didn't really know anyone else she trusted to watch over her child. Rachel gave voice lessons, though they couldn't have paid that much. Santana assumed that her fathers were helping her financially. This surprised her a bit because after all of the commotion about finding a proper place to live it seemed as if a steady job would be another must. But like with all of the other things she questioned, the Latina chose not to ask.

RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS

"Nice place you got here, Lopez," Quinn said as she draped herself over the leather couch in the living room.

"Thank you, Fabray," replied the Latin beauty with a lift of an eyebrow.

"It really is, S," said Brittany from a living room chair.

"Thanks Britt."

The knock on the door was expected. Brittany all but leaped to her feet in anticipation when she heard it. "She's here," the blonde squealed as she ran to the door nearly throwing it opened.

Rachel barely had time to step into the house before she felt strong arms around her, lifting her off her feet. "Hey Britt," she said exuberantly returning the hug while trying to maintain her breath. "How are you?"

"I'm great," she replied maintaining the hold she had on the shorter woman.

"Hey B," Santana spoke. "Why don't you let her come in the house and get comfortable?"

"Yes we wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable," Quinn snarked.

"Nice to see you too, Quinn," Rachel beamed in Quinn's direction. Paige was gripping her mother's hand and had yet to say a word.

Santana closed the door and held out her hand to the little girl, who gladly took it. "Hey, tiny tot," she smiled as she swung their hands. Brittany looked at the pair with a bright smile.

Rachel couldn't help but smile at the display as well. "Paigey, these are Santana and Mommy's good friends Brittany and Quinn." She pointed to each woman as she said their name. "It has been a very long time since we've seen each other. Brittany and Quinn, this is Paige."

"Hey there short stuff," giggled Quinn.

At the same time Brittany chimed, "Hi Paigey,"

"The little girl gave up a wide smile that nearly matched that of her mother's circa 2011. "Hello."

"I like your dress," Brittany proclaimed, indicating the blue jean dress the girl had on.

"Thank you," she blushed. "Mommy picked it out for me."

"Well it looks like Mommy learned a thing or two about fashion since I last saw her," Quinn quipped. "She used to wear really ugly sweaters and short skirts."

"My daddy says short skirts make mommy look like a wh…" The girl was cut off with a hand over her mouth.

"Paige, remember what I said about not repeating things you hear your daddy say?" Rachel warned with a sad look in her eye.

"Not to," the child said apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"It was an accident, baby," Rachel cooed, feeling a little guilty for having reprimanded her daughter in front of women the girl had never met before. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to do whatever I just did," Quinn said with honest guilt.

"I know," Rachel smiled before changing the subject. "Well, Paige got really excited when I told her that Santana used to be a cheerleader so San showed her an old DVD of you guys at a competition."

Paige beamed. "It was so cool. But that lady at the end was scary."

Quinn and Brittany gave puzzled looks. "Sue Sylvester accosting the cameraman," Santana clarified.

"Oh yeah. She was scary," said Brittany with a shudder.

RSRSRSRSRSRSRS

Later that evening the foursome agreed to have dinner together at the house along with Erin. Nomi had a deadline to meet so she couldn't join them. Paige had dinner early and ended up sleeping in Santana's bed before the adults started dinner at eight. They ate takeout from a Ti restaurant a few blocks over because no one felt inclined to cook. Rachel sat next to Brittany and Erin while Quinn and Santana sat across from them. The dinner conversation started off pretty light. They discussed what was going on in their lives and the many ways they were fulfilled. Quinn talked about how she hated her job but loved how her life was going at the same time. Brittany talked about possible wedding bells in the near future and her dance studio. Santana discussed her aspirations to be made partner at her firm in the next few years. Erin gushed about the kids in the piano and acting classes she was teaching. When it came to Rachel's turn she said, "Being a mother makes me as happy as can be, even if Jimmy is going to be out of the picture." It was the best she could come up with without divulging things she wasn't ready to share.

"You married him?" Brittany pouted. "You said he didn't give you any butterflies." She ignored the look on Santana's face, knowing that she deliberately never brought him up to her friends because she thought it would hurt the Latina's feelings. She really hadn't thought the relationship was going to go anywhere, except it had.

"But he did give me a baby and I guess that sort of felt like butterflies. Granted, those butterflies got together and slowly turn into a huge bowling ball." Rachel laughed. "It all happened really fast and before I knew it I was marrying him in a courthouse and following him to Idaho."

"I could have helped plan your wedding," Brittany continued to pout, knowing full well that the Rachel Berry she once knew, did things big and dramatic. Her wedding day would not have been some small ceremony at a courthouse.

"I know Britt, but it was really impulsive. I'm sorry," Rachel grabbed hold of her hand. Quinn rolled her eye s which didn't go unnoticed. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry I just disappeared on you. You and Erin both deserved better from me. I guess I was embarrassed at the situation and fell back into that selfish kid I was. I should have thought about your feelings instead of just blindly following a man just because I was pregnant and he claimed to love me."

"It's okay Rach. You're here now." Brittany hugged Rachel for the eighth time that day which the short brunette gladly returned yet again. A person could get addicted to the tall blondes hugs.

"Do you know how upset she was? And then there was Santana who was only able to keep tabs on you through Britt. If she hadn't gotten a hold of Daddy Leroy, who only confirmed that you were alive, we would have thought you were dead." Quinn was seething at the memory of both her best friends sad and teary over not knowing the diva's whereabouts. Rachel's father's harbored no anger toward any of the other girls. Rachel had told them that she chose to work on her dreams rather than be tethered to Santana and in her head she was being truthful. So the men didn't blame the Latin girl at all and were a little disappointed in the way Rachel claimed she'd handled things. But in the end their daughter's wishes outshined what they wanted, so they refused to give up the girl's location.

"Let it go, Q," Santana warned though she was looking at Rachel, who had her mouth agape with stunned eyes trained on an irate Quinn.

"Yeah, Quinn. She's here now," Brittany interjected.

"It isn't like she looked either of you up to get in touch with you. It was just some crazy fluke that put her in the same office as Santana. If it hadn't been for that, you still wouldn't know she even had a kid," The blonde former head cheerleader sneered.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said quietly as she looked down at her lap.

"That's not going to cut it," Quinn replied.

"That's enough," Santana cut in. "She didn't have to accept my invitation to dinner, or give me her number, or be here right now. She chose to be so back off!"

"And why is that, huh?" Quinn returned. "She dropped everyone for some guy because he said what, I love you? And now that it didn't work out, you and Britt are worthy of her time? Oh how noble, she spat sarcastically.

"I'm sorry," Rachel repeated before standing. "I'm going to go check on Paige."

Santana saw Rachel shrink into herself just as she was speaking and it hurt her to see it. Even if she did have some of the misgivings that Quinn voiced, either way the outburst was still unacceptable. She attempted to open her mouth and defend her when Erin's voice spoke through clenched teeth just as she heard a bedroom door shut. "You know I try to let Ray fight her own battles because she hates it when I treat her like a child but you really need to shut your mouth lady!"

"You don't even know me," Quinn shot back.

"I know that you're talking about things you know nothing about," Erin retorted. "You have no idea what happened. You don't know anything about what that woman has gone through. Yeah, it sucked that she disappeared from everyone's life. She left me behind too, but she's more than suffered for it."

"Well why don't you fill us in," Quinn spat, channeling her former HBIC.

"That isn't for me to tell. It's her story," Erin hissed.

At seeing Rachel turn the corner Erin became quiet once more. To her credit, Quinn felt a swell of guilt for having gone off the way she had. Seeing that sad look in Brittany's eye's had just set her off. She'd been holding on to these feelings for so long, which led to her blurting them out at the most inappropriate of time. "I'm sorry," Quinn stated almost genuine. "It was rude of me."

Rachel took in the faces around the table before her face scrunched up in fury. "You told them?" The Jewish woman accused glaring at Erin.

"No, Ray," the tall petite woman replied. "I didn't. I just told your friend here to stop bringing up all of this old crap."

Santana nodded in silence, contemplating what Erin's words alluded to. Brittany looked about ready to cry because she hated when her friends fought. Quinn had the decency to look ashamed of herself and Erin only looked slightly guilty for having let what little she did say slip in a bout of anger.

"I accept your apology Quinn," Rachel finally said. "I understand why you got angry." The truth was that Quinn actually did give a damn about the little brunette. She herself had been upset when Brittany couldn't reach her after a few months. She cared for the girl but it was hard to admit. The mother knew Quinn meant it. She and the blonde had become friendly by the end of high school, though Quinn wouldn't actually verbalize it. However, it seemed that once she and Santana had broken up, there was no real reason for the two to continue on as such. They may have been friendly, but they never had become the type to call each other up or hang out one on one for the hell of it. Rachel turned to face Erin once more. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"No need to apologize. You've said worse," Erin chuckled. "Remember what you said to me about creepy stalker chick? I believe it was somewhere along the lines of, 'Erin, wipe that damn smug look off your face and mind your own fucking business.' And that wasn't even the worst of it." The two blondes sat looking on were taken aback by the language that supposedly had come from the former glee club member's mouth.

"I'd kind of like it if you wiped that shit eating grin of your face now," Rachel blushed.

"I love rubbing in your face when I'm right. Even after all this time," Erin said cheerfully.

"Creepy stalker chick?" Quinn's eyebrow rose along with her interest. "What's with you and stalker's, Berry? First Jewfro and then some creepy chick?"

"Rachel's a hotty," chimed Brittany.

"Jewfro?" Asked Erin.

"This freak back in high school used to be obsessed with Rachel here," Quinn laughed, pointing at her former rival. "He even requested a pair of her panties and she actually gave them to him."

"She did it to save your ass, Fabray," Santana cut in.

"She did it for Finn," the blonde said sharply before her voice softened to say, "But it was a pretty nice thing to do."

"I didn't do what you're thinking I did, Erin," Rachel warned as a somewhat sickened look flashed itself across the piano teacher's face. "They weren't really mine anyway."

"Oh god no," said Santana incredulously. "She wouldn't have touched him, _**ever**_. Besides I put an end to the stalking."

"Jacob was never right after whatever it was that S did to him. She said she didn't use a golf club though."

"I have other powers of persuasion, B," smiled the Latina.

"Let's just leave it at that, shall we?" Rachel finally made her way back to her seat as she remembered a cowering Jacob, an overly aggressive Santana, and smashed laptop.

"No way. I want to hear about this creepy stalker chick," laughed Quinn.

"I prefer not talk about Ria." Rachel saw the look of sadness cross her ex's face. "It was a long time ago."

"That girl was smitten, and Ray wouldn't give her the time of day after….."

"Erin!" Rachel nearly yelled. "We are not about to talk about that."

"Sorry," Erin said half laughing. "Just got carried away."

"We can talk your entanglements with that director, what was her name….Dian, was it?"

"Dena and no," replied Erin. "Nomi still rubs it in my face as it is."

Once a line of peace was drawn between Quinn and Rachel, the conversation managed to stay pretty light and airy throughout the rest of dinner. Once the meal and two bottles of wine were consumed by all, with the exception of designated driver Erin, the woman made plans to spend some time together after Santana was off of work the next day. Brittany was determined to spend time with Rachel and Paige before Santana was free, however, so they agreed that she and Quinn would hang out with Rachel at her place until Santana could join them.

Part Three/B-I've Been Missing You

Quinn wasn't sure exactly how she got roped into spending alone time with Rachel Berry-Howard. One minute she and Brittany were teaching Paige a cheer, and the next, Brittany and Paige had become ecstatic at the idea of going to the Zoo. Erin and Nomi had shown up with a couple of extra tickets to the Zoo that they had acquired from a friend and wanted to see if Paige wanted to go. When they talked about still having one extra, Rachel noted that she wasn't a Zoo kind of woman, but Brittany should go. Brittany agreed and off they went. By all means, Quinn felt like she should have taken the time to escape, but chose to stay put in the apartment with Rachel.

They'd been sitting quietly for about ten minutes before Rachel broke the silence by mumbling something along the lines of, "This screams set up."

"What?" Quinn asked.

"Erin knows I hate Zoos. I think she senses some of the tension between us and figures if we're stuck together, we'll share our feelings or something." Rachel knew Erin was cunning, in a good way of course. She knew that if this was her plan it had been made out of love. She always seemed to know what her friend needed and tried to make it happen if she could. While it was endearing it was also annoying as all hell.

"We never were the type to share with each other. Except for when you blabbed about my baby daddy," Quinn joked.

Rachel chuckled at the comment. "That didn't quite kill us."

"So do you want to share some kind of feelings or something?" Quinn asked tentatively. She did want to know about who her somewhat friend had become. She'd cared about the other girl but it was just really difficult to show. They'd come to get along after a few months of hanging out with each other alongside Brittany and Santana. However, once the Latina and the little diva had split, only Brittany managed to keep Rachel's attention. Quinn had suspected that that was only because hurting the Dutch girl's feelings was like kicking random puppies in the street, which Rachel eventually did anyway.

"I owe you an apology too." Rachel cleared her throat. "We may have had our issues, but we were friends and I shouldn't have just stopped talking to you. At first you just reminded me of her and that was too much for me. It took every will of strength to talk to Brittany because they were so close, but it was Britt so I had to try. She actually made me feel better when we talked though. But then I got myself in this situation that I was so ashamed of and I found myself alienating everyone from before. I was lying to everyone I cared about and it just really hurt to do it so I ran. My dad's and Shelby were the only ones I could look in the eye from before. I mean, my dad's would love me no matter what I did and Shelby didn't know me enough for me to care if she was disgusted with me."

"What did you do that was so shameful?" Quinn asked skeptically, trying to ignore the mention of her daughter's adoptive mother and simultaneously readjust to the rant thrown at her via Rachel. "Because I've gotta say, that I can't see you doing anything so bad that you had to drop Brittany from your life."

"That doesn't matter," Rachel replied. "Just know that I'm trying to fix it now."

"Would you ever have called, S?" Quinn questioned. "Did you ever even think about calling any of us?"

"Constantly," The smaller of the two admitted. "Last year I looked up her cell number in the alumni directory of WMHS. I'm actually surprised she was in there. It had the LA area code so I assumed she was still there. I dialed San's number and listened to her voice. I heard her get all huffy, the way she does when she gets hang up calls. It made me smile, and then it made me sad. I hung up. Thankfully I had the smarts to block my number before I called."

"Why didn't you say something? She would have been so glad to hear from you," Quinn tried her best not to look angry as she posed the question.

"I had a miscarriage. I was hurting and I got this really dumb idea to call her in hopes that she could ease my pain. It was selfish of me to call her up to say, 'Hey it's me, the woman who chose her dreams over being with you and then didn't even follow through. I hooked up with some guy that I didn't even love just to get you out of my head and got myself pregnant in the process. Then I married him and all these years later I lost what would have been my second child because I was stupid and I want you to drop everything you're doing to make it all better.'"

"I-I'm sorry about your baby," Quinn said after a few seconds of silence.

"Me too." Rachel gave a sad smile.

"She wouldn't have thought you were wrong to call her. She would have come to you."

"I know," said the brunette, "and it would have been wrong of me to ask after what I did to her."

"Cutting her out completely was crappy, but we all understood why it was too hard for you to talk to her. Maybe we didn't get why you were so willing to throw Brittany and me away but we understood that Santana dumping you was hard," Quinn said with conviction.

"I should have known that when I said I would give up Julliard and follow her to LA she wouldn't have it. She insisted I go and when I said no, she broke it off. I knew that she did it for me but I didn't put up much of a fight. If I had fought a little bit harder for her…."

Rachel was interrupted by the blonde. "Nobody could have changed her mind. Even Britt's sad eyes couldn't convince her to go back to you. You know how much restraint it takes to resist that?"

The brunette smiled and nodded, indicating that she knew Brittany's powers all too well. "Shelby told me that holding on to an old love when pregnant with a new love's baby would give my kid a complex," Rachel said out of nowhere. "But everything was so much more complex than that. I just pray that I haven't ruined my daughter."

"You see her?" Quinn found her voice cracking.

"We talk every six months or so, but not since I've been here. I only saw her a few times after high school. She came to a couple of shows I was in. Then when I was pregnant with Paige she showed up for a few days. I was on bed rest in a town I'd never been before and freaking out because Jimmy was working out of town and I was so scared about the baby. I called her, just to get some peace of mind. I didn't know her medical history post my birth so I drilled her until she just offered to come out for a few days."

"I'm glad you got to have a relationship with her." Quinn said sincerely.

Rachel saw the wonder in Quinn's eyes. She could see the question that lurked behind confidence. "We don't really have one. She used to send me pictures though. Give me a minute." The former diva stood up from the couch and went into her bedroom. When the woman returned she held out a floral picture album. "The first half is Paige, her father, my fathers, and myself. The last of it is of it is Shelby and Beth."

Quinn slowly opened the album, trying not to look too eager. She passed by pictures of Rachel with a baby Paige and a man who Quinn could only guess was the woman's husband. He had sandy hair cut short and slicked back. The blonde could tell that Rachel definitely had a type when it came to guys. He was a tall man with broad shoulders. He looked like he was probably the football playing kind. The smirk on his face had an uneasiness about it. He looked like he was no less than five years older than the brunette. She viewed picture after picture until she came across a picture of a blond girl about three years old with pretty light brown eyes. She studied each picture with careful detail as the child got older and older among the pages, ending at about ten years old. Some were of school activities, some with Shelby, some alone. Tears began prickling at the blonde's eyes as the pictures neared the end.

"I'm sorry," Rachel apologized. "I was being presumptuous."

"No," Quinn sniffled. "It was just what I needed."

"I've only seen her once. Well a few times over the course of a few days. She was so full of life and confidence. She has this smile that makes you believe that everything is going to be okay. I haven't seen her in a long time but she had the kind of determination that doesn't falter," Rachel beamed. "I wish Shelby and I could be closer, and then the girls could be in each other's lives but it just isn't in the cards."

"I'm sorry she didn't see how special you are," Quinn said, allowing herself to remember the good times they once shared as teens. "She missed out on something great."

"Thanks, but it was too late for us. As far as I can tell, she is a great mother to your Beth and that's what's important."

"Remind me to send Erin a gift basket or something," Quinn smiled. "I think I owe the woman a thank you."

"I guess I do too," the other woman said mirroring the smile.

"Does Santana know about the baby?" the blonde boldly asked. "Does she know you called her?"

"No. I'm afraid to talk to her about it." The brunette's cell phone went off and the blonde watched as she looked down to its screen before pushing ignore and continuing her conversation.

"But you told me," Quinn said confused.

Rachel huffed and put her head in her hands. "If I start to talk to her about the real heavy stuff I wouldn't know when to shut up. She has this way of inspiring me to purge my entire soul. I can't just give her bits and pieces. I have to give her all of me."

"So give her all of you."

"That sounds like a Brittany answer," Rachel joked lightly.

"What can I say? The girl is a genius." Quinn returned the light laugh. "But honestly, S still loves you and I can tell you love her." Quinn gave a look of exasperation as the smaller woman ignored her cell phone yet again.

"She deserves better than I can give her right now. I have all of this baggage to deal with and she shouldn't be dragged into it," Rachel defended. "We are doing pretty well as friends. I see no need to change it."

"The two of you have got to be the dumbest people in the world," Quinn sneered. "Goodness, Berry. When you love someone you are more than happy to shoulder the other's baggage. You allow yourself to lean on them and vice versa. I wish the two of you would cut out all the martyr crap. Had you done that, you could have been together all these years." The brunette looked into Quinn's piecing, hazel gaze, before slumping back. Quinn rolled her eyes and huffed, "Look, I was never going to tell you about this because I'd have to admit that I actually learned to like the two of you as a couple, but desperate times and all that." The smaller woman sat up in her seat and looked questioningly at her somewhat friend. "Okay," Quinn started, "here it goes."

_**2011-September**_

"_I don't get it," Quinn said to her fellow HBIC in the locker room after Brittany left the final two Cheerios in search of her boyfriend. "Why her? I mean, if you were going to be all out and proud with a girl, I would have expected it to be with Britt."_

_Santana took a moment to take in what the blonde had just said before saying, "Whatevs, you don't have to understand it, just except it." The dark haired girl was uncharacteristically calm for having just been question by the other girl. "And as for B, she's kind of otherwise occupied." _

"_I know what happened before she ended up with Artie, S," The head cheerleader said flatly. "She wanted you to be open about the two of you. At least with her you could have been on top together. She's hot and popular. You love her."_

_Santana sat back on the bench beneath her and let a small smile play across her face in adoration. "I do love Britts. She's been my best friend for years. I'll always love her. Hell I'll even admit that I was in love with her. I just wasn't ready to deal with it. When I finally was she already moved on. I wanted her to dump robot-boy and be with me, but she wouldn't. She loved him too and she wasn't going to leave him just because I finally got my head out of my ass. I was depressed for a while, but I had a friend in Rachel. She wouldn't let me push her away no matter how much I tried. She let me be all emotional and shit without looking at me with pity or throwing it in my face. She knew what I needed. B and I are both happy now, even if it's with other people."_

"_I just don't get why you could do that for Berry but not for B."_

"_Q," the brunette said as she let a deadly serious look cross her face. "It's because Brittany was Brittany and Rachel was Rachel. I had different relationships with them. With Brittany, yeah I love her and want to protect her, but I was always really selfish where she was concerned. I never felt the need to stop having sex with anyone else, or keep her from sleeping with anyone else. I didn't show her how much I cared about her until it was too late. With Rach, I don't want anyone else and I can't stand the idea of someone else touching her the way I do. I won't lose her too."_

"_Okay," the blonde started cautiously. "How the hell did all of this start?" _

"_If you tell anyone about this conversation, I'll dismember you and feed you to Karofsky," Santana hissed, letting her cool demeanor crack a bit. Quinn nodded and rolled her eyes, indicating to the raven-haired cheerleader to continue. "Well the first time we like actually had a real conversation, she saw me in the mall during winter break. She actually came up to me and apologized for calling me names." Quinn squinted, looking a bit skeptical. "I know, right" Santana continued. When I told her that I'd been called worse, she actually said that it didn't make what she said right. So here I was sitting with a girl that I have taken all kinds of pleasure in torturing since like the seventh grade, and she's saying sorry to me. That's when the guilt set in. So we called it a truce and I tried to make her life a little easier around here." _

"_I kind of figured out the slushy ban after you like, declared your love or whatever," Quinn jibed._

_Santana ignored the comment and started to talk again. "Sometimes I think about all we've put her through, and I'm ashamed. Even when she tells me she forgave me and that it's okay. Sometimes I can't help but hate everyone that ever fucked with her. Her mom, Finnessa, Saint douche, most of the gleeks, jocks, cheerios, you and me included." The Latina lightly bumped the other girl with little smile. "I won't let people crap on her anymore."_

"_It's just kind of weird to hear all of this out of you. We kind of made it our mission to see who could break her freakishly un-crackable spirit first."_

_Now the Latina was serious once more "See that's where you're wrong." She said. "It all gets to her. She just hides it behind that fake Broadway smile of hers." Quinn looked a little confused by what her friend was saying. "Okay, think of it like this instead. I know that we have this unspoken rule about discussing the baby situation too much, but it's the best way I can make you understand how crappy we were." The blonde fought the urge to end the conversation. "Imagine that one day Beth goes home to Shelby after school, and she is covered in whatever. It stains her clothes and covers her hair. Then you find out that people call her demeaning and degrading names all day long just because she refuses to compromise who she is." Quinn's face hardened at the thought of her child being treated in such a way. "Now picture the two main ringleaders of her torment are two bitchy insecure little cheerleaders that look a lot like us." The head Cheerio's eyes lightly glistened, but she quickly blinked the unshed tears away. _

"_I get it," was all Quinn could manage at the moment. She gave her friend an understanding look, knowing that she'd better learn to be nice to Rachel real quick. _

"_Anyway," The Latina continued with the previous story, as if she hadn't just brought out the big guns "She figured out I was behind it and thanked me with a note and a bracelet. It felt good and she was growing on me, so we started hanging out." Quinn raised a questioning brow at the thought of her friend becoming soft. Santana seemed to be able to hear what Quinn was thinking and said, "Look, I'm not saying that I'm all of a sudden going to start being all nice to everyone, because really, it's me. But something about the way I feel about her, and the way she looks at me with all this trust in her eyes, kind of makes me want to be better."_

"_So Man…I mean Berry, is like what? Your unexpected salvation or something?"_

"_Maybe," the Latina grinned. "Anyway at some point I started to feel more. With a little nudge from B, we managed to figure it all out."_

"_It is so weird that Brittany is not only cool with the two of you, but pushed you together," The blonde stated._

"_Well she is and she did, and they are really good friends. Now I need you to at least try."_

"_Fine, but only because if I don't Britt will be all upset," Quinn said defiantly._

"_I don't care why, just do it."_

_**2021**_

Rachel furrowed her brows at the memory being laid out before her, knowing that the blonde ex-cheerleading captain made a lot of damn since. She wanted to be with Santana. She never stopped wanting that, which is why she always felt so guilty, believing that she deserved punishment. She felt like Santana may want to be with her too, but she was scared of everything from her feelings to her current marital situation. "Maybe I should talk to her," she spoke barely above a whisper.

"I'm going to take a page from Erin's book. B and I are going to head over to Santana's with the kid after they get back. You had better talk to Santana and at least tell her that you never stopped loving her."

Quinn expected a protest but was only given a nod and an "Okay," from her friend.

"So," the blonde prompted.

"Yes?"

"Why the hell would your husband let you name his child after one of your ex's?"

Rachel giggled. "He knew there was an ex that I never stopped caring for. I was honest about it from the beginning but I never told him the name, or even the sex. He assumed it was a guy." Her face went downcast. "He promised that he could make me forget. He said that he could make me love him just as much. He wasn't great at keeping promises." Her cell phone rang again and the brunette once again ignored it.

"Would you either answer that thing or shut it up?" Quinn had finally had enough of the unanswered calls.

"I'll silence it."

Quinn looked thankful before quirking her left brow. "I have to admit that when Santana said you had a daughter I was expecting a carbon copy of you. Santana acted like she was more like her, but I thought it was just wishful thinking." Quinn laughed out loud. "Well I'll be damned if that little girl is more like Santana Lopez than Rachel Berry."

Rachel mirrored the look of laughter as she said, "Paige isn't being raised by that teenager you once knew. She's being raised by the woman I am now, flaws and all." Rachel's face slumped a little at her own comment.


	4. Love Deadly Love

I'd like to thank everyone for the reviews, alerts, and faves for my little story, You really did boost my confidence.

Chapter Four-Love Deadly Love

Rachel stood astounded with how her day had gone. She had opened up big time to Quinn Fabray, or Granger, or whatever it was now of all people. She told the woman she barely would admit to being friends with things that she hadn't been able to tell Brittany or Santana. She'd spilled her guts about things that only Erin and probably Nomi really knew about her life. She hadn't told her everything of course. She doubted she ever would. But still she told her more than Santana and while it was nice to get some things off of her chest, it felt wrong that these were things she never talked over with the person she considered to be the love of her life. She was nervous when she opened the door for her ex. She was more nervous than when they first met up for dinner after seeing one another again. She was jittery and clammy and her emotions conflicted all the way around. She was angry she allowed herself to be put in this position, sad that it had taken her this long to get to this point, and happy to finally be able to admit how much she still loved the other woman. And now here she was, just astounded.

"Hey," the taller brunette greeted with a grin and a hug.

"Hey yourself," the shorter of the pair said back.

"Where is everyone?"

"They opted to ditch us for some better plans. Seems my daughter felt like they had a better offer so she went too."

Santana noticed the glint in her friend's eyes. There was something there that she hadn't seen in so long. It wasn't quite as bright as it once had been, but it was something more than what she'd recently been witness to. "I see," the lawyer smiled at the sight.

"Actually I was hoping we could have some alone time to talk. Quinn kind of suggested it," the former singer said softly.

"Quinn? Blonde former cheerleading captain, Quinn?" Santana asked in shock.

"One in the same," Rachel answered.

"Okay," Santana said with a hint of worry.

"We had a little heart to heart and she helped me realize that I need to let some of my guard down a bit and actually talk to you because you're the person I want to talk to most in the world. But I'm scared about it too. Because I have done some messed up things and I really don't want you to hate me," Rachel said in all seriousness.

"Querida, I could never hate you," Santana said as she hugged her counterpart. "You can tell me anything."

"Will you feel the same way when I tell you that I screwed at least eleven girls during the first few months I spent in New York? Will you be disgusted when I tell you that I used them and didn't give a damn about it because I was trying to find something in them that would make me feel closer to you? That I ran away like a cowered in the middle of going down on some girl because she called me estrella?" Rachel was crying into the Latina's chest.

The thought of her girl being with so many women made her sick to her stomach. She hated to think about her with anyone else, much less women, but it didn't make her love the shorter woman any less.

"Rach, we all do things we wish we could change. I couldn't be with another woman after you, not even when Britt was having one of her 'separations' from Artie, but I did fall back into old habits," Santana began. "I keep that charm bracelet on me all the time. I usually slip it in a pocket or my briefcase." Santana kissed the top of her ex's head before pulling apart from her in order to pull the piece of jewelry out of her hidden breast pocket. Rachel smiled at the sight. "I used to get really depressed about not having you. I turned to sex with men that I knew were the complete opposite of you. I know it sounds terrible, but I always wore this when I did it. Then when it was over I would get away as soon as I could and curl up in a ball and sob like a little bitch baby about how much I missed you, and wanted to be with you. I'd scream that I was so sorry about what I'd just done. Rach, I hated myself so I decided that was how I deserved to be punished."

The little brunette took in the information that she'd just been offered. "I know what it's like to feel the need to punish yourself," she said in an understanding tone. "I guess we're both really fucked up people, huh?" she laughed wryly as she wiped at the remaining tears with her sleeve.

"That's why you and I fit so well together."

"There is a lot I want to talk to you about," Rachel said shyly, "but not all tonight."

"I'll be here to listen whenever you need me to." She palmed Rachel's hands in her own.

"Thanks,"

"But, can you tell me about Paige's name? I'm still a little shocked over that one." If Santana had wanted to hide the sheer joy she felt when it came to knowing the person she loved most had named her child after her, she was failing miserable.

"The whole time I was pregnant I couldn't help but wish it was you I was having a baby with. I wanted you to hold my hand and tell me it would all be okay, but it wasn't possible. She kicked real hard when I'd watch cheerleading on ESPN or kickboxing." The former diva nuzzled into her ex- lover. "I already told you that. What I didn't tell you was that I would tell her stories about you while I was still pregnant. I was on bed rest and I would be alone with her and my thoughts. She always started kicking up a storm whenever I started gushing about you. So I knew that I had to honor you. I guess it's how I honored what we had….what should have been."

"I wish it could have been me," Santana admitted.

"San?"

"Yeah?"

"I never stopped loving you."

"Neither have I. Not by a long shot."

"I'm screwed up Santana."

"I think we both agreed that we both have our issues."

"I don't know if I can be good to you yet. I need to get my crap together before I can be with anyone again," Rachel stated warily. "I want it to be good between us and if we jump into anything now, I think we could get hurt, including Paige and I can't have that."

"I love you but I'm realistic," Santana said pleadingly, cupping the other woman's face. "We haven't been together in ten years and we were kids then. I know things are different now. We'll take it slow."

"I think that would be best." She replied with a look of relief coming over her face.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

They had agreed to stick to light hearted topics. Anything heavy that had to be discussed would wait until after Quinn and Brittany left town. They didn't want to have any major issues holding them back from enjoying time with their friends. Despite having not seen them for years, Rachel still cared for the other women quite a bit. Her departure from their lives hadn't been their fault; it had been her own. Santana loved that Rachel was back in her life, even if they were just friends. But she also looked forward to spending time with Quinn and Brittany and she didn't want that to be jeopardized if she could help it.

The women took a few hours to sit back and talk about the high points of their lives. Santana talked about how when she got into law school, Quinn took her out for drinks to celebrate. Surprisingly, it was the blonde who ended up on the bar singing _Evergreen_ at the top of her lungs. Santana ended up being the sober, non-flirtatious, responsible one of the two. Rachel laughed at the thought of Quinn on a bar, singing Barbra Streisand of all people.

The taller woman beamed at the smile on her former lover's face. She hadn't seen that smile in particular in years. It was a smile that was genuine and unhampered by divorces or hard times. She'd first recognized the differences between the Rachel's reflexive smile and the real thing when they became friends the first time. The reflexive smile was the one Rachel automatically gave the world, even when she felt miserable. It was her performance smile. But that real smile was the one that conveyed every ounce of happiness that lingered in the singer's body. It reached passed her lips and into her eyes. The first time she'd seen it, the Latina promised herself that she would do whatever it took to keep being able to see that smile. She hadn't quite admitted that she loved the other girl at the time, but she knew that smile was something she wanted to see all the time.

Rachel talked about how she'd finally pulled out her yearbook from senior year earlier in the day for Paige to see. "She saw a picture of us in glee. She was so in awe of those cheerleading uniforms. She thinks the three of you are like the greatest thing on the planet," she joked.

"What did she say about her mom?"

Rachel put on a false pout, which Santana also seemed to miss. Her ex's theatrics had been lacking sense they had met up again. "She said that I dressed funny."

"Well you kind of did, but I found that it could be a real turn on. That pouty lip thing you're doing used to get me a lot too," Santana husked.

"I figured that out sometime a few weeks before we….you know? The first time," the smaller woman said back.

"So you knew about that power of the pout?" Santana arched a brow.

"Why do you think I got all huffy over you being jealous of Finn's advances? I knew you didn't really think I was going to actually go back to him." Rachel said with a sly smile. "But I also knew that every time I pouted at you, we'd end up making out. I may have overdid it because I wanted to do more than make out."

"So manipulative," Santana said in jest. "But I didn't mind being manipulated into that." She suppressed the urge she had to reclaim the other woman's lips as her own and chose instead to give her a light hug.

After a few hours of chatting, Quinn, Brittany, and a nearly sleeping Paige returned to find that something had shifted between the two dark haired beauties. Nobody spoke of it out loud but it was most definitely apparent.

Rachel put her daughter to bed and for the first time since Broadway, Santana heard her high school sweetheart sing. It was hushed but beautiful, none the less. It was a song that her mother taught her ex one week when she'd been sick and Rachel insisted on helping to take care her, which the other girl loved and hated at the same time. As much as she loved the Jewish girl taking care of her, she hated that she was such a wimp when it came to being sick. Santana was such a force to be reckoned with when she was in that cheerios outfit at school, however when it came to being sick, she was a big baby. Her girlfriend had never mocked her for it though. She even placated her when it was necessary. The other girls gushed over the way Santana's mom took care of her daughter and sang to her. It wasn't that her father's didn't do the same kind of thing when she needed them to, but it was that maternal bond she liked so much.

**Los pollitos dicen pío, pío, pío**

**cuando tienen hambre, cuando tienen frío.**

**La gallina busca el maíz y el trigo**

**Les da la comida y les presta abrigo.**

**Bajo sus dos alas, acurrucaditos,**

**hasta el otro dia**

**duérmen los pollitos.**

**The little chicks say peep, peep, peep**

**when they are hungry, when they are too cold to sleep.**

**The mother hen looks for corn and wheat**

**she gives them food to eat.**

**Safe under mama's wings, huddling up,**

**Sleep the little chicks until the next day.**

As much as she loved the version of Rachel she'd recently met, she still missed parts of the diva of old. This gave her a glimmer of hope, that there would be more to come.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"Where are they?" Brittany bounced around Santana's living room. "There like, a half hour late."

"Give her ten more minutes Bitt," Santana said, trying to calm the tall blonde down. It was proving to be a little difficult because she was inwardly just as anxious. "If she isn't here by then, I'll call."

"Would you two calm down? You just saw them yesterday," Quinn joked.

"It sounded like you two bonded for a bit there too," Santana shot back at her friend.

Quinn squinted. "We're all entitled to a few. I wouldn't mind seeing the kid soon though. She makes me think that I may actually be ready to have another one of those. One I can keep," The insurance adjuster giggled, trying to make light of what she figure Santana had already been thinking.

"I'm sure you'll do great," the lawyer offered, to Quinn's dismay.

"Artie says he wants one. I think it would be nice to have a little baby around," said the dancer.

"You'll be great at it too, B," Santana smiled.

"That woman has completely turned you into mush all over again," Quinn jibed.

"Don't let it get around," was her answer. Santana heard the ringing of her phone and saw the former starlet's name cross the screen. "This would be Rach telling us she'll be here soon and that she would have been on time if yada, yada, yada," the Latina joked as she answered her phone. "So what was it? Traffic?" Santana's face took on a look of confusion. "Oh, I'm sorry Erin I thought you were Rachel. Where are yo…" Her features began to take a worried tone. "What's happened? Fine, which hospital are you at?" The other women began to worry as their friend became seemingly frantic. "I'm on my way," she yelled into the phone.

"S, what's wrong?" Quinn asked, seeing the tears falling from the Latina's face, which Brittany soon mimicked at the sight of her best friend's condition.

"I have to go," the lawyer said through tears, already moving for her purse. "I need to get to University Hospital."

"What's wrong, S?" Brittany finally spoke.

"It's Rachel. I don't know what exactly but it's bad."

"I'm going with you," Brittany cried.

"No, Britt. You stay here, okay. I should figure out what's going on first."

"No," Quinn cut in. "You are in no condition to drive and we care about her too. I'm driving!"

"Fine," Santana said hurriedly heading for the door. "Come on."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

When the trio made it to the emergency room, their eyes immediately found Erin's equally red and puffy pair. "What the hell is going on?" Santana yelled as she approached the tall lanky woman.

"I don't know exactly to what extent but there are cuts and bruises. I'm sure there are broken bones and ribs too. She could barely move," Erin tried to explain what the broken woman whom she had held in her arms earlier in the evening had looked like.

"What the fuck happened!" Santana barked. None of the women bothered trying to tell her to be quiet because they all saw that it was a lost cause until she got all the information.

"What do you know about the miscarriage she had last year?" Erin asked.

"I didn't even know she had one," Santana admitted dejectedly.

"She told me that she had one but she left it at that," Quinn spoke. Santana shot a glair at her friend, feeling hurt that it was something the blonde knew but not her.

"At the time she told me she was mugged but a few months ago she admitted to me that it was Jimmy."

Santana clinched her fist and mashed her teeth together. Quinn wanted to calm her but she wasn't fairing much better in the anger department. Brittany, who up until then had been silent was the one to speak. "I'll rip his throat out!" The words and cold tone would have been surprising coming from the usually bubbly blonde if the others weren't just as livid.

"He was gone when I got to the apartment."

"Oh my god! Where's Paige?" The Latina asked frantically.

"Nomi has her at our place. She talked to the police and then I figured she should keep her out of here until we know more."

"She was there," Brittany whispered as sadness started to overtake anger. It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.

"She was. That's how we know for sure it was him. She said 'Daddy did it.' I'm so glad he didn't take her."

"When I find that son of a bitch I'll beat the fucking life out of him!" Santana snarled enraged.

"I knew there was something wrong with him just by looking at that picture," Quinn's words were dripping with disgust.

"You've seen a picture of him too?" Santana snapped. "I'm glad you two had such a great bonding moment. You didn't think you could have told me that. I could have…."

"No, S," Brittany said with just as much distain in her eyes. "She didn't know because Rachel didn't want us to. There's no way you would have known either. She's always been that way. She's never wanted anyone to feel sorry for her. She hardly complained or let anyone know how hurt she was." They all knew this was true. Rachel wore her heart on her sleeve when it came to breakups and make ups, however, when it came to being bullied or treated like crap in general, she always managed to pretend to ignore the comments and smile through the slushies.

"I was supposed to be the one to protect her. I promised that I would keep her from getting hurt again and I failed her. I fucking failed her!" Santana seethed.

"She always understood why you had to let her go," Erin spoke up. "She doesn't blame you."

"I need to see her. I need to tell her…." Santana slumped in to the seat next to where she had once stood. She couldn't keep from sobbing, which she never did in public.

"I'm her proxy and I can't even see her yet. We have to wait this out together," Erin said quietly, taking the Latina's hand.

"Should I call her fathers?" Brittany asked as she wiped at her face.

"If I can help it I want to leave that choice to her. They know about the divorce, but they think it's just about the cheating. They don't know about the other stuff."

"They should know what's going on with their daughter," Quinn spoke.

"Yes but she's an adult. She's never clued them into this before. She needs to do this her way," said Erin.

Santana scowled. "Her way is to keep this crap to herself, or at least from me. Why didn't she tell me? I could have done something, anything," Santana said between gasps for air.

"She didn't want people to know. If she hadn't needed to get out of town I wouldn't know either. She had to explain to me why it looked like she'd been in a boxing match and she had already used the mugger thing. Brittany's right. Rachel wants to appear strong, like nothing shakes her. This is the first time her fathers are even going to know about what was going on. She doesn't like to worry the people she loves and she takes everything on," Erin couldn't help but join in the sobs as she spoke.

Santana didn't speak. Brittany rubbed her best friend's back as Quinn held onto the tall blondes other hand. It took about five minutes before Erin spoke. "Santana, I need to speak with you in private," the short haired brunette with blonde streaks said morosely.

Brittany looked up with sad eyes, but didn't protest having to let go. Quinn shifted in her seat and put an arm around the other blonde as the lawyer silently stood up. Erin grabbed hold of her hand and led her away from their friends. They ended up in a secluded waiting area on the fifth floor that was seemingly abandoned. "What is it?" Santana said softly, as if she would be tempting fate if she raised her voice any further.

"He's been calling her. He managed to get her new number and he's been leaving messages for two days. She told me about it on the phone this afternoon. They were really scaring her so she decided that she was going to finally tell her lawyer about the abuse. She was going to use the messages along with her hospital record to try to prove a case if he tried to stop the divorce or fight for custody. She was going to tell you tonight about everything." Erin fumbled with the phone in her hands. "I'm going to give this to the police but I thought you should hear them. She was going to let you hear them, so you should." Erin dialed to call Rachel's voicemail and clicked on a button. "Push nine after each one." She handed the phone over to the Latina and subconsciously stepped back to put some distance between herself and the other woman.

Message received June fifteenth, 2022 at 3:39 PM: **"Alright Rachie, this is enough. You need to come home now. I'm sorry about everything but we can't fix it if you aren't home. I love you. Bye."**

Message received June fifteenth, 2022 at 6:42 PM: **"Hey, I apologized alright. It's been three months. How much time can you let pass before you get over it already. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it in front of Paige, but I doubt she'll even remember it."**

Message received June fifteenth, 2022 at 7:06 PM: **"Okay I've had about enough of this. I'm getting real pissed Rachel. Quit ignoring my calls and get your ass home now. I won't allow you to humiliate me like this much longer."**

Message received June fifteenth 2022 at 7:29 PM: **"Okay I'm sorry for what I said Rachie. I just really miss my girls. I promise this time will be different. I love you."**

Message received June sixteenth 2022 at 7:48 AM: **"So you're too busy whoring around like the little slut that you are to come home to your husband? You can't even get off of your knees long enough to answer your fucking phone? I'm your husband till death you little skank, you better start remembering that."**

Message received June sixteenth 2022 at 1:17 PM: **"Look, you little bitch, bring my fucking daughter back now. You belong to me, you got that? Screw these damn divorce papers."**

Message received June sixteenth 2022 at 3:54 PM: **"I tried to play nice, but apparently the only way I can get through to you is by making it hurt. I tried, you hear me? I tried but you wouldn't do what you were told. Just know that I'll kill you before I let you run off with some low life and my kid."**

Santana appeared to be containing her rage, which the other woman hadn't anticipated. "He thinks he can threaten my Rachel, mi estrella, and get away with it? He thinks he can say things like that to her, and hurt her, and break her? I'll make him wish he was never conceived, right before I rip him apart from the inside out," she spoke in a calm and even tone, which scared Erin to no end.

Erin gulped audibly before saying, "She needs you with her more than she needs him to pay." Santana's eyes shot daggers at the other woman. "He will, don't get me wrong, but she needs you out of jail and with her."

"I love her," the dark haired former cheerleader said a bit louder.

"I know that. I can see that. She loves you too. When I first met her I tried so hard to get her to move on, and join the rest of the world. She tried too, but she always hid a piece of herself away from everyone, even me. She always wanted you."

"She's been through all of this shit that I was oblivious to. She didn't feel like she needed me."

"That isn't true. She always needed you. She always wanted you. She even tried to call you after the miscarriage because you were the only person she wanted afterward. She just couldn't bring herself to speak. She got scared so she hung up." Santana strained her brain to remember all of the hang up calls she'd gotten the year prior. "Eventually she settled for calling me to have someone to talk with."

"I would have been there for her. I would have done anything to try and make her smile again."

"She knew that, but she didn't think it was fair of her to ask that of you. She holds on to a lot of guilt," Erin stated.

"She shouldn't."

"I know. Neither should you."


	5. Sweet Child O' Mine

**Thanks to all that are giving my little story a chance. Loving the reviews, alerts, and favorites. They give me a major high, Lol! Reviews are major love. I know it's getting depressing but there is a total light at the end of the tunnel so try to hang there. Thanks again.**

**Chapter summary: Paige opens up about the situation. **

Chapter Five - Sweet Child O' Mine

It had been three hours since Erin had called her, three horrifying hours. An hour and ten minutes had passed since they had been updated on Rachel's condition which in addition to the information that Rachel was going to need surgery on her right leg for a fractured femur, really wasn't much more than Erin had prattled out earlier. They still weren't allowed to see her. It had only been thirty minutes before that Nomi called Erin to let her know that she needed to bring Paige back to the hospital. The little girl was more than upset and wanted to be in the same place as her mother. Erin protested in fear of further traumatizing the girl. It took Nomi explaining to her girlfriend that the child had already seen her mother beaten and the end result of it. Now she needed to see that Rachel was going to be okay, as well as be around all the people that she trusted most in the world. Erin reluctantly agreed.

Santana had agreed to it as well, though while she believed in Nomi's argument, she also felt the need to see Paige. She needed to see that the girl was alright with her own eyes. She needed to let her know that she would be protected. She hadn't protected Rachel, but she sure as hell would make sure to protect her daughter.

It was already past ten when Paige walked into the area where the three women were waiting. Santana had excused herself to the restroom in hopes to make herself appear more calm. She wanted to be strong for the little girl she'd found herself loving almost from the first time she'd met her, and was able to connect her to her mother. The little girl was clutching tightly to Nomi's hand as she walked closer and closer. She broke contact with the Asian woman before she locked eyes with Erin and bolted to her.

The tall woman scooped up the child and tried to sooth her as a fresh set of tears began to spring from the little one's eyes.

"I know you're scared, baby," Erin cooed, "but mommy is going to get better. I know it was scary seeing her like that."

"I want her right now," the girl sobbed, tightly holding the woman.

"It takes time to get better from the kind of things mommy has to heal from. She can't see any of us yet, but as soon as she can, I know that she'll want to see that pretty little face of yours," the woman struggled desperately to make the child understand.

Santana rounded the corner on her way back from the lady's room just as she heard the little girl say, "I want her to be better now." Erin was at a loss for words. She didn't know how else to explain things to the girl. Other than the police interview, she and Nomi tried not to bring up the events that landed their friend in the hospital with her child. They feared that making Paige acknowledge it too much would only hurt her.

"I want that too, sweetie," Santana said softly. "We all want your mommy to be better right away. If we could change it we would but we can't fix it that fast. We have to let her get better over time."

Paige looked down to Santana who stood behind Erin's back. Because of Erin's height, she was now in a taller position than the Latina. The child nodded slowly before squirming down from Erin's arms. She stood by Erin's side for a moment before slowly making her way to Santana. "I miss my mommy already," she whispered as she stood in front of the lawyer.

"So do we," Santana admitted. "We love her very much." Santana could see that the girl was holding something inside. She was fidgeting and her eyes held more than just fear and sadness in them. She wanted to say something, but wasn't allowing herself to do so. "I know she misses you too. You're her favorite person in the world." This garnered a little smile from the little girl, who then took her hand and leaned against her.

The other women watched as the scene before them played out. They were all too cautious to interrupt it. Erin and Nomi had given it their best efforts to treat the situation with the best care. Quinn and Brittany weren't exactly sure what to do to ease the girl's pain and had decided that unless the girl came to them, they would just feel around the situation.

"Santana found herself bending down to Paige's level whispering, "Do you want to go somewhere with me? I know the only thing you want right now is your mommy, but I think I know a place that might make you feel a little better." Paige nodded. "We'll be back in a little while. I need to spend some alone time with tiny tot here." The other woman gave her nods and blessings to do so and she led the child away.

The two ended up in the chapel. Santana wasn't the most religious person in the world though she'd grown up Catholic. While she didn't attend mass or go to confession, or even pray very often, she managed to find comfort in the little room. Not more than an hour earlier she was praying for the first time in six years in its confines.

_**Forty-five Minutes Earlier**_

_She sat on the right back pew, staring forward at the first pew mere feet away. "Look, I know we don't speak often. I know she's Jewish and I know I am somewhat of a deviant. We were lovers and I don't know what that makes us in your eyes. I only know what people tell me you believe. My parents insist that you love us all, no matter what. They say that you don't go around smiting people for loving each other. But then I hear all this stuff about how my loving her makes me wrong and for that you hate me and you hate her." _

"_I could probably be convinced as to my eternal damnation. I've done some really screwed up things in the past. I was a bit...," Santana shifted in her seat before correcting herself.  
>"Uh sorry I mean bully. I treated most people like they were dirt, even her….especially her. I was sleeping with anyone that asked, but then I found her. Yeah, I knew her already, but it took some time to really know her. When I did finally see her, I changed. Okay so I wasn't an angel but you can't argue that I got a little better. The thing is Rachel is an angel. I know people think that my love for her blinds me from her flaws, but that isn't the case. Yes I love her, though I know she isn't perfect. She used to be manipulative and sometimes she could be mean, though she wasn't setting out to be mean most of the time. She just had a filter issue. Okay so the Sunshine thing was really wrong. She did apologize and tried to make it right though, which is more than I ever would have done. She used to drive me crazy before. Once I got past all the crazy, I saw the most loving and forgiving person I ever met. She deserves to be okay. Her kid needs her. Her fathers need her. I need her." <em>

"_Just please, whatever you do, make her better. Give her the happiness she deserves. I refuse to believe that you would have made someone like her and sent her to us just to hurt her so badly that she couldn't hold on. You know I'm not the begging type. Only her, and now you. Please don't let her die. I don't just mean physically. I can see that her spirit is already struggling through life. Give me a chance to help build it back up. A chance to make her whole." _

Santana situated herself on the same bench before lifting Paige up to sit on her lap. She stroked the girl's dark brown hair as she leaned into her. Paige was the one to break the silence. "Daddy hurt mommy again. He hurt her really bad this time."

Santana took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm the anger that was threatening to overtake her newly found maternal side. She didn't want to scare the tiny brunette in her arms. "I know, honey. I am going to make sure that he never hurts her again." She wrapped the girl in her arms and said, "I'm so glad that he didn't hurt you. I don't know what I would do if both of my favorite girls were hurt."

"I told daddy to leave. I tried to make him stop, but mommy told me to go in her room and lock the door. I didn't want him to hurt her like last time but he hurt her even more this time," Paige choked out in a sob. "I wanted to save her but I was so scared."

"Oh baby, none of this is your fault. You didn't do anything wrong, I promise." The Latina was trying her best not to cry along with the girl.

"He was yelling at her. He was calling her names and making her cry. I could hear. Then they got quiet and I heard daddy leave. I stayed in the room because mommy said to. I didn't come out till I heard Auntie Erin." The child's breath had become wild and uneven. "Mommy was bleeding and she had marks on her like before but more and she wouldn't move." The little girl was barely breathing between sobs and Santana could no longer hold her own tears back.

"He's gone now, honey," the Latina assured. "I'm going to do everything I can to make him stay away, okay? Between Auntie Erin, Auntie Nomi, Auntie Quinn, and Auntie, Brittany, we are going to make sure that you and your mommy are safe."

"But Auntie Quinn and Auntie Brittany are going to go away," the child continued.

"They live in other places but they're going to call and check in. Maybe we can even get them back here soon," the woman soothed. Plus Auntie Erin, Auntie Nomi and I are here. I'm sure they're not going anywhere."

"Do you promise?" The girl asked sheepishly.

"I promise." She was going to make the bastard pay for ever laying a finger on **her **Rachel, or psychologically scaring the innocent child in her arms. First she was going to concentrate on her girls then she was out for blood.

"How long before mommy gets better this time?" Paige asked sounding a little more embolden. "It didn't take as long last time as it did before. She got to stay at home then."

"I'm not sure but it is going to be a while before she can move around like before," The woman stated honestly. At seeing the little girl slump once again she reached and fiddled around in the loos change that lined the pocket of her black fitted jeans. She sought out the few quarters in her hand and tucked the rest of the random coins back in her pocket. Will you hold on to these for me, tiny tot? She said with an overly exaggerated smile. The child looked confused as she jutted out her bottom lip the way only a child of Rachel Berry could. "These are just to get you started," Santana began to explain. "After today I am going to give you a quarter for everyday it takes for your mommy's body to feel better. Maybe we can even get the rest of your aunts to do it too. When Mommy's better we can go and trade the quarters in for dollars and go spend the money on toys and candy or something." She didn't quite know why the idea sprung to her head. Santana just wanted to give that little girl something positive to look forward to in the midst of all of the terror she'd been forced to experience.

"Where will I keep them? I don't have a piggy bank anymore." asked the little girl, who now had a hint of a smile on her otherwise broken features. "Daddy smashed it."

Santana grimaced at the child's words but remained determined to make her feel a little security about the future. "Well these wouldn't go with your other money anyway. We'd have to keep them separate because they're for a different reason than just saving up money. Your quarters are for mommy to get better, not for just hanging out in a bank till it gets full. I'll get you my lucky pillowcase." It was the first thing she could think to say and since she'd been flying by the seat of her pants, she thought it was pretty good following the whole quarter thing. "Until then, maybe we can have Auntie Nomi hold on to it."

The little girl mulled over what the woman had said fore a few moments before asking, "Can I buy mommy something with them instead, since there for her to get better?" The child chose not ask questions about lucky pillowcases because her mother always said that the only things that are lucky are the people that we love so she just let her aunt have that one. She could tell that the woman needed to know that she was making her feel better because she was obviously upset too. She really was too smart for her age.

Santana let her lips give way to a genuine grin and said, "Of course. Now why didn't I think of that?"

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRRRSRSRSRS**

Santana sat with the little girl sleeping in her lap. They'd abandoned the chapel and ended up in the waiting area on the surgical floor. The seats there were far more comfortable than the ones in the ER waiting room. There were a couple of couches there as well and she found herself sinking into one as she held Paige in her arms. She had tried to stay out of her own head. Tried to stop remembering all the happy times, the fights, and boy there had been fights, even if she usually ended up being the one to apologize. She didn't want to remember the past because she felt like it was admitting that they wouldn't have a future. Not that she believed that her ex wouldn't survive. She was certain that the girl Rachel had once been would come through for her. She just knew that the driven girl who never let anyone keep her down, would surface if only to get her through her current situation. Santana was simply afraid that Rachel would push her away once she realized that the Latina knew everything.

She remembered the good and the bad, but ultimately it was the good. She thought back to the day that she realized she'd fallen out of like with the diva that once was only to fall unequivocally and irreversibly in love with her all at the same time. She also knew that after being told about the events of that day, Quinn had actually found some genuine respect for the little brunette, rather than merely tolerating her on behalf of her closest friends. However, it took five years and a few Long Island ice teas for the blonde to admit it.

_**September 2011**_

_It had been a day of shopping at a mall in Columbus. The couple, along with Brittany decided to have an outing, though they chose to stay away from Lima due to the fact that the couple was still a secret. Brittany wanted to go to the toy store and Rachel happily obliged her request. She could see that Santana wasn't jumping for joy at the thought. The dark haired cheerleader had expressed a desire to look around the makeup counter so they opted to separate and meet up a little later. After about half an hour, Santana decided to make her way to one of the clothing stores when she heard Rachel shrieking, "Do not speak to her like that you thug."_

"_Look little girl, I don't have time for this. Take your airhead and get the hell away from me," said a man's voice. Santana had long since passed the toy store so the blonde and brunette had to be somewhere else. The Latina cheerleader scampered to follow the voices to their current locations. _

"_I'm appalled at your blatant disrespect. I demand you apologize to my friend for causing her any upset."_

"_Forget it munchkin. I ain't apologizing to anyone. Not you or rain woman over there."_

"_It's okay Rach, I don't want to stay here anyway," Brittany's voice could be heard around the corner and it sounded sad. The other girl continued to rant._

"_No, Britt. It is most certainly not okay. Nobody is ever allowed to speak to you in the manner that this overgrown imbecile has," the diva soothed before her voice got louder again. "Under other circumstances I might give you a strong lecture on how to treat young ladies. I may have even threatened you with the ACLU. However, at this very moment, though I do not normally condone violence or profanity, I find it fit to tell you that I will not hesitate to use either on you if you continue to refuse to apologize to my friend."_

"_I'd like to see you try little one." The man sounded cocky and arrogant. Santana was ready to start cracking heads as soon as she reached the others. Though, as she approached the videogame store where the scene was playing out, the cheerleader found herself absolutely stunned. Rachel managed to put those years of ballet to good use as she pulled her right leg back as far as she could and swiftly kicked some college aged idiot right between the legs. When she drew her leg back she stomped and huffed for dramatic effect before grabbing Brittany's hand._

"_Take that asshole!" Rachel said smugly before turning to the girl next to her. "Come on Britt. I could use a soy milk smoothie. I'll get you and San a couple of ice cream cones." Brittany beamed and followed after her friend. _

_As the two exited the store they were met by a very shocked pair of dark brown eyes. "What was that all about?" Santana looked from Brittany to Rachel. The singer looked to her feet, looking a little ashamed for allowing herself to lose control. _

"_That mean man got mad at me because I wanted to finish my level of Mario carts on the Wii," Brittany pouted. "He called me a name but it's okay now. I think Rachel made him cry."_

"_I apologize for making a scene," the little brunette said quietly. "As you know I have a flair for the dramatics."_

_Santana chuckled as she appeared to be replaying what she had just seen in her head. She then cleared her throat and let a broad smile cross her face before saying, "What are you sorry about? You totes earned major points for sticking up for Britt. Plus I sort of think that was way hot. I can't wait to get you back to my house and…."_

"_Santana this is highly inappropriate," Rachel said, though obviously not too upset at the implication. _

"_It was really hot," Brittany cut in. "But can you do that later, San? Rach said we could have an ice cream cone."_

"_Sure thing, B," The dark haired Cheerleader smiled. _

"_Later," Rachel whispered in her girlfriend's ear as the threesome made their way to the ice cream shop. _

"_Oh hells to the yeah," was the reply. _

_That was the night Santana told her girl that she loved her for the first time, or more like panted it. _

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

By the time the woman were allowed to see Rachel, she had been drugged and bandaged so much that she couldn't form many lucid statements. She was overly apologetic and worried about Paige as was to be expected, but they were mere murmurs between bouts of sleep. Erin, Nomi, and Santana sat with Paige to let her know that her mother was going to truly be okay, before Nomi left with the girl, which Paige only agreed to after she was promised she could return in the morning. Quinn, Brittany and Santana headed back to the Latina's house, though Santana only did so in order to take a quick shower and change her clothes. The two blonde didn't bother arguing with her. They were just relieved when Santana grabbed a bagel from the breadbox before heading out again. She was off to do some major string pulling and call in a few favors in order to make for some special accommodations for Rachel and what was soon to be a slew of visitors in the days to come.

It was just after six when Santana slipped into the room, sending Erin on her way. The first time she'd seen her ex-lover in her hospital bed, she felt a sense of piece because the she could physically see that the other brunette was alive. Now watching her sleep, she only felt hurt and anger. That gorgeous face had been marred with an eye swollen shut and discolored. Lips that had delivered beautiful melodies were now split beyond reason. Her jaw scratched with an ugly green and purplish tent set across it and a forehead to match. And her beautiful nose, the one part of her body she always tried to protect from harm in lieu of every other as a teen, was broken. The rest of her wasn't much better. The left ankle and right wrist had been sprained and wrapped. The young woman had two cracked ribs. Though the Latina couldn't see under the hospital gown, she knew that due to the broken femur on the right leg, there were bandages covering the surgical incisions along with the bandages that covered the slashes beneath them on the hip on the same side. Seven times he sloppily ran the blade across sun kissed skin and then left her there to suffer, while their child cowered in fear in the next room.

Why had no one called the police when hearing the commotion? Why had Rachel not told her of the threat the man posed to her? These were a fraction of the questions that swirled through her mind as she drifted off to sleep in the chair next to Rachel's bed.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"We were so scared, Rach," Quinn's voice filtered through the room. "I've never seen S, or B, so freaked. I-I was terrified too," she reluctantly admitted.

"She was," Santana cut in, making it known that she was now awake.

"We were trying not to wake you," the former Diva said quietly from her hospital bed, feeling quite conscious of her physical state. "You shouldn't have slept on the chair all night. It isn't good for your back." Because of the busted lip and the pain meds, her word were a bit muffled, however she had opted for less pain madison out of an irrational fear of becoming addicted or losing control.

"I think I can survive a few nights in a chair," The raven-haired woman tried to say soothingly. Thinking about how at least some things never changed. Rachel _would _be worried about what sleeping in a chair would do to Santana's back, when it was her that was laid up broken in a hospital bed. "I wanted to be here in case you needed me."

"I appreciate that but you all have lives. You shouldn't be here hovering over me," Rachel responded quietly with a guilty look on her face.

"Are you kidding me?" Brittany's voice cut through the room loudly. The other three occupants quickly pinned their eyes on the dancer in shock. "Look around Rachel! You are in a hospital bed because that bastard thought it was okay to do whatever he wanted to you. You have to get over this need to not be a burden. It isn't a burden when people love you and want to help you!"

"Brittn…" Rachel attempted only to be cut off.

"No!" The blonde said sternly, effectively silencing the smaller woman. "You don't get to do this. You don't get to push us away again. So here's the deal. Quinn is going to call James and then her job to see about a leave of absents. I called Artie and my studio to let the other instructors know they need to cover for me. We are going to stay for as long as we need to and help Santana, Erin, and Nomi take care of you. You are going to stay at San's place with Paige and we are all going to be there for you when you need us." Rachel could only stare at her normally happy go lucky friend and watch as she laid down the law. "We're going to protect the two of you. This is not a negotiation do you understand?" The question was aimed at the little brunette, though the other two women nodded as well. "Good. Now that being said, he better pray for dear life that the police get hold of him before we do. I'll bash his fucking head in if I get the chance." Brittany had never spoken like this in all the years the other three had known her. She was only saying what Quinn and Santana were thinking, but coming from her, there was no room to argue.

"Okay, Britt." Rachel answered in awe. "I'll do whatever you want."

"It isn't about what I want, Rach," Brittany said firmly. "This is about what you need. I can't make you call your parents and clue them in, but I can insist on making sure you're surrounded by the other people in your life that love you."

"Thank you," Rachel replied.

"There's one more thing," Brittany's voice slipped back into the bubbly blonde she once was. "Artie may have called Puckerman who may or may not be planning on being here by the end of the day."

"Why would Artie do that?" Rachel asked confused.

"He thought you could use a man you trust around. You always had a soft spot for him and I know he still thinks of you as a close friend. Otherwise he wouldn't keep any of your cards. And he sure wouldn't send any."

Rachel, Quinn, and Santana once again looked at her with mouths agape.

"What?" Brittany asked. "I got it out of him years ago."

Rachel had expected Quinn to look at her with contempt at the new revelation, but the blond simply said, "Wow, you managed to make a sentimental Noah Puckerman. That's saying a lot." In truth, this discussion had already taken place earlier in the day between the two blondes, so Quinn had had time to wrap her mind around the idea.

"I just wanted a connection to the past without any explanations. I didn't do it to hurt you," the former diva tried to explain to Brittany.

"I know," was the reply. "He explained it to me and I get it. I wish it had been different but I understand." The dancer turned to her former lover with wide eyes. "Q said that she wasn't mad at me for not telling, are you?"

"No, I understand," said the lawyer. "I didn't exactly tell you after Rach told me about it." Just as she finished speaking, the on duty CNA entered the room to take Rachel's vitals.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

A quiet "mommy" was heard amongst small footsteps along with slightly louder ones.

Rachel turned her head to face the source of the words with Nomi in tow. "There's my pretty girl," she said with a smile gracing her marred face. It hurt to do it, but she needed to. "I've missed that face."

The child looked at her mother with a fearful expression on her face. "I missed you too. I wanted to see you last night but the doctor wouldn't let me," she sniffled as she spoke.

"I know sweetie. Mommy is so sorry about all of this." Rachel hated that she had screwed up this badly. She hated to see her child going through this kind of pain. From the moment she gave birth to her daughter she had promised to be the best mother she could be. She never wanted her child hurt and she certainly never wanted to be the cause of it. She watched as Paige's eyes fell to the floor. "Come sit by mommy." The little girl made her way over to her broken mother.

"Remember we can't hug mommy quite yet though, kiddo," Nomi softly reminded from her stance near the door. Santana could only watch as the seen played out.

"But you can sit on Santana's lap and hold my good hand," the little brunette woman grinned at her daughter.

"I'm going to go make a phone call while you talk," the Asian woman said with a faint sad smile before exiting the room.

"Maybe I should go too," Santana began.

"Please don't," Rachel said in a panic. She was deafly afraid of being alone with Paige because she wasn't physically capable of doing anything for her at the moment. Plus she found it comforting to have the Latina there with her, even if they spent a lot of time in awkward silence. Santana immediately quieted and stilled herself as the little girl got comfortable in her lap. "I want you here."

"Daddy was scary again. I don't like him," Paige said sheepishly.

"Daddy was scary." Rachel confirmed. "Daddy did some really bad things and mommy should have handled it a lot sooner than I did. I should have made different choices and so should have daddy. But you, honey," Rachel reached out her working arm to brush a finger along the smaller brunettes cheek, "You have been nothing but perfect. You didn't do anything wrong. You did everything you were supposed to do."

The mother's words coaxed a small smile from the girl but it left her face almost as soon as it had come. "Why was daddy so mad? Why doesn't he love us?"

Both the women felt their hearts break at the child's musings. Rachel was the one to speak. "Daddy is sick. He needs a lot of help to get better. But even when he's upset with me, he never stops loving you. He just isn't healthy enough to be around us. Do you understand, baby?" Rachel asked with pleading eyes.

"Will he be better if he goes to the doctor?"

"I hope so, but we can't be around him. He is going to have to be punished for the things he did," her mother replied. "Mommy and Daddy won't be married anymore."

The girl seemed unfazed by her mother's declaration. They had already discussed the fact that her parents were no longer going to be together a few times over. Rachel chose to explain it to the girl the day she'd first gone to Santana's law office "I had a bad dream that you didn't wake up and daddy laughed."

Rachel took a deep breath. Earlier in the day she had a discussion with Santana and a social worker about therapy for herself as well as Paige. She was all for getting Paige help to cope with the disarray she and her husband had created in their daughter's life. Rachel on the other hand was not completely convinced that she needed to see a shrink. She knew what the situation was and what needed to be done about it. She may have handled things poorly up until now, but she had a grasp of what she needed to do now. At least that was what she told the other women. "Can I tell you a secret?" The child nodded. "I have bad dreams too." Santana looked to both of the other brunettes in the room. In the short time since the 'incident' as Rachel had come to call it, (She still refused to actually vocalize in depth the abuse she had endured to anyone other than the police.), they had all been plagued with nightmares. "So a nice lady came and talked to me about getting you a doctor to talk to."

"But daddy didn't hurt _me,_" Paige said confused. "I know I used to hurt boys in the park sometimes but I stopped. I promise," she said a little franticly, afraid that maybe she had the same sickness as her daddy.

Santana wrapped the child in her arms as Rachel attempted to rectify the situation, losing the smile that she had planted on her face. "Oh baby, I know. You are nothing like daddy. Hurting someone isn't good but you don't have the problems your daddy has. You're a perfect little girl." Paige calmed down and lifted her gaze back to her mother. "But baby," Rachel cooed. "Daddy did hurt you, so did I. He hurt me and that hurt you because you had to see it. I didn't deal with it the first time he hurt me and I let it get badly, which also hurt you." Paige looked at her with intense eyes. "I need you to know that it is never okay for someone to hurt you the way daddy hurt me, and it surely isn't okay to hurt someone else that way either. Do you understand?"

"Kind of," the girl said a little unsure.

Rachel put the smile back on her face before saying, "The doctor can help you understand and you can tell her things that you might be afraid of telling me." The former diva knew quite well that if her daughter was anything like her, or even if she was as much like Santana as the Latina liked to believe she was, she held a lot inside whether to protect herself or others. Paige didn't answer but looked a little puzzled. "Would it help if mommy sees a doctor too, and maybe we can even see the doctor together sometimes?"

Paige nodded and for the first time since she entered the room she smiled. "Okay, but mommy?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Can you sing that song about the parade?"

"Huh?" Her mother asked.

"And the rain," the girl added.

"I think she means Don't Rain on my Parade," Santana clarified. "We watched some old DVDs of New Directions."

"Oh," Rachel said warily. "Mommy isn't really up to singing right now honey."

"Maybe I can sing a song for you today," the Latina offered, trying to remedy the situation.

The child looked briefly disappointed before she looked at Santana with a half-smile and asked, "Can you sing the one about Valerie?"

"Sure thing, tiny tot." Santana pulled Paige close and began to sing Valerie. Paige bounced excitedly, while her mother relived the performance at sectionals in their junior year.


	6. Safety in the Darkness

**Again I'd like to thank everyone who has been reading, reviewing and adding me to your favorites and alerts. I appreciate it. There is some seriousness in this but I think there are a few smiles nice moments to cut through some of the tension. **

Chapter Six- Safety in the Darkness

The Jewish man stalked through the hallways of the hospital with anger working through every part of his body. "Slow down Puckerman!" Quinn snapped. "You really need to stop and listen before you go charging into her room. You haven't let us get a word in edgewise since we picked you up from the airport!"

Puck spun around running his hand over his now bald head. "What is there to say, Quinn?" His teeth were clenched. Brittany came to stand by the other blonde.

"It isn't going to help her if you burst in there and make a scene," the shorter of the two blondes said with exasperation.

"Rach needs calm," the taller blonde added.

"If I would have known I would have…" Puck started.

"We know," Brittany interrupted. "We all would have."

"But we didn't and now here were are," Quinn stated in all honesty.

"She deserved better than that. She was supposed to get out of Lima and be something!" The man clinched his fist as he added, "Not some asshole's punching bag. My Jewish-American Princess was better than that!"

"Nobody could have predicted this," Quinn sighed.

"And he still hasn't been arrested?"

"Nobody's seen him," Brittany spat with more venom than Puck could ever remember coming from the dancer. "I dare him to show his face around here."

"He won't have much of one when I get through with him," the former football player seethed.

"I'm with both of you on that one, but right now we just need to be here to support our friend, remember?" Quinn cut in.

"Fine," the man answered curtly. "Can you take me to her now?"

"Come on," Quinn said, ducking her head as she began her trek through the hospital once more.

As they approached Rachel's room Nomi was making her way toward them. "Hey," she said with a false cheery demeanor. The woman was a lot like Rachel when it came to portraying false happiness for other people's sake. "I'm on my way to grab a bite. The police let Erin go in and get some of their things; she dropped it off at Santana's place this afternoon."

"Great," Brittany smiled. It was genuine. She hated the situation but she was glad that Rachel hadn't been stubborn about staying with them at Santana's. "Oh," the blond gasped. "Noah Puckermen, this is Nomi Kae. She's a good friend of Rachel's."

"Hello," Nomi said extending her hand.

Puck took the proffered hand with his right, while his bandaged left stayed at his side, and gave a polite smile. "Hi," he offered. He didn't mean to be short with the woman but he was anxious and the introductions were getting in the way of him seeing his friends. He'd hardly paid attention to the conversation as it played out. Had it not been for the woman extending her hand to him, he wouldn't even have noticed that he was being introduced.

"Well I will be on my way. I brought up dinner for Santana and Paige so don't worry about that," the journalist said as she dropped the man's hand. "Call me if you hear anything new, or if you need anything."

"Thanks," said Quinn. "Britt and I need to get some info from you. Do you mind if we grab that bite with you?" answered Quinn. She needed the breakdown of all the do's and don'ts for Paige, but she also wanted to let Puck get reacquainted with Rachel and Santana without her and Brittany underfoot. She considered getting Paige as well, but thought better of separating her from her mother until it was absolutely necessary.

"Yeah, my tummy's rumbling," added Brittany.

"Sure," the Korean woman chirped. "Erin can meet up with us. She should be done with her last lesson by now."

"Puck, go on in and let them know we'll be back in a couple of hours," Brittany said with a wary glance.

"Sure," he said quietly.

The man watched the women walk away and collected himself before opening the door and peering in. His eyes settled on the hospital bed and the sight rendered him speechless. If it hadn't been for Rachel's non-swollen eye locking with his own, he was sure that he would have flown into yet another rage. When Artie had first told him what had happened, he'd taken out his anger on the wall of his home garage. He was sure it had been fractured and just as sure it hadn't been broken, but he didn't take the time to have a doctor tell him that.

"Noah," Rachel grinned as he took in the sight. She could see he was fuming and she needed to defuse him before Paige could see it, or Santana could feed into or off of it. "I can see that the Mohawk look is no longer your thing. You look good."

"Th-thanks," he shuddered, still looking at her intensely. "Umm Quinn and Brittany said they'd be back in a couple hours."

"Look who became a man. Who knew that could ever happen?" Santana spoke up sarcastically. She still had some resentment toward him for being in touch with the smaller woman lying in the bed beside her, but the sarcasm was meant to ease the tension rather than being a bitch.

"Up yours, Lopez," Puck shot back, causing Rachel to giggle at the flashback of high school days.

Santana was just about to revert back to her seventeen year old self completely and say something along the lines of 'I bet you wish you could get up mine,' before she felt Paige squirming in her lap and realized how inappropriate it would be. She settled with saying "Kid present."

"Lost your fangs I see," Puck chuckled.

"Not at all," Santana said, raising an eyebrow. "I just know when to use them."

Paige looked at her mother with confusion all over her face. At the sight the woman in the bed spoke. "Paigey, this is my friend Noah. He went to school with your Anties Santana, Quinn, Brittany, and me." Then the woman turned to her old friend and continued, "Noah, this is my daughter Paige."

The child looked at the man, with even more uncertainty. "But he's a boy."

"Oh yeah," Santana snorted. "Boys still have coodies."

"Mommy says that's just a myth," replied the girl. "But she isn't allowed to have friends that are boys. That's against the rules. Daddy is going to get mad again." Other than her father and grandfather's she hadn't spent much time around men. She didn't see her grandfather's often and her father didn't inspire her to see men in a positive light.

Santana and Puck both wore matching scowls. Rachel quickly tried to remedy the impending anger by focusing on her daughter. "Paigey," she said loud enough for all three pairs of ears. "Daddy isn't going to hurt me like that anymore. We won't let him. He isn't going to get close enough to us. Auntie Santana is going to get us a paper that says he can't come near us. And when we figure out where he is, he's going to go to jail and get the help he needs. Besides, Noah is a really cool, and you are going to want to get to know him. He is a really good guy."

"Is he going to take care of us the same way the Aunties all said they would?" Rachel wasn't quite sure how to answer that. She looked up at Puck questioningly.

"I sure am kid," he cut in. "And my wife is a pretty tough chick. If I have to I'll bring her out here and she will totally play bodyguard."

This seemed to satisfy the child, however, Santana and Rachel whipped their heads up to meet Puck's eyes with their own. "Wife," they both nearly yelled.

Puck winked with a half smirk. "Finally convinced Zises she couldn't live without me. We got hitched last month."

"Congratulations," Rachel grinned as wide as her busted lip would allow, glad to have been given some good news.

"It only took what, eleven years?" Santana drawled. It had been so long since the two were able to banter and it felt good.

"Seems to me I'm doing better than you." It was out before he had the chance to realize that it was going a bit too far. It was no secret that she'd been pining for Rachel for years. The few people that stayed in contact mentioned it back and forth from time to time. He took note of his ex-lovers facial expression before saying, "Look S, I'm sorry about th…"

"Don't mention it," she cut him off. "Just let it go."

Rachel let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "So did you have a big wedding?"

"No," he said as he sat down in a chair across the room from his fellow Jew. "It was just the judge, her cousin, one of my mechanics, her and me." Rachel inwardly thought it was quite ironic that the two Jewish members of their former glee club both had court house weddings rather than traditional ones. Noah's mother must have flipped her lid. Puck leaned back in his chair smiling at the memory. "She actually took my name and everything. I was scared I was going to end up being Noah Zises." This time his laughter grew a little louder and the other two women joined in.

"I know I gave that woman a lot of crap but I have to say I have a lot of respect for her. Not even I could turn you into a pus—er …..I mean a pansy." Leave it to Noah Puckerman to drag high school Santana Lopez out in full force.

"As I remember it, she mopped the floor with you, Lopez. If it hadn't been for coach Beaste you would have kept flying straight out of the building." Puck joked cockily. "Besides I'm no pansy," he said puffing out his chest. "I'm just smart enough to know a good thing and try to keep it."

He hadn't meant it to be catty and Santana could see as much. He and Rachel were both surprised when she returned the comment with, "Yeah, well maybe I could learn a thing or two from you. People did used to say I was the female you." She disregarded the comment about Lauran whipping her in the hallway that day entirely.

Rachel nodded at the assessment. There was a reason she had fallen for one while the other became her best male friend. They were both players until the most unlikely of girls hooked their claws into them. They were both total badasses, and they both had a sex drive to rival Hugh Hefner, both later and in his younger years. She couldn't deny the similarities, though Santana had something that drew her in on a whole different level. Thankfully her girl never referred to herself as the Santansorous Rex.

"I had to convince her to stay and run the businesses. She wanted to come but I figure Santana and I would be all the egression you could take. I guess I was right because even Britt seems to be on my page about this," Puck spoke, choosing not to make a big deal of what the Latina had just admitted to. He and Rachel both knew that the taller brunette wasn't going to want to continue the topic.

"I appreciate her concern as well as everyone else, however, the police should be the ones to handle this," Rachel answered.

The other adults wanted to protest, but took note of the child in the room. "We can talk about this later," Puck said and the woman both nodded in understanding. "So kid," he continued. "How do you feel about an uncle that will spoil the crap out of you?"

"You mean worse than her Aunties," Rachel giggled.

"Uncles are way better than aunties," he scoffed.

"Not like Daddy?" Paige looked to her mother with questioning eyes.

"Nothing like Daddy," the former diva responded.

The girl looked up to Santana with the same question on her face. "He's worth keeping around," the raven-haired woman confirmed.

The little girl's face lit up, "I never had an uncle before. Will you play the quarter game too?"

"What's the quarter game?" Puck asked.

"My Aunties are each giving me a quarter everyday till mommy gets better," she explained.

Puck took a quick glance at Santana who mouthed, "I'll fill you in later." He then looked to the young mother who simply smiled. She had already been filled in on the agreement.

"Sure," the man grinned wide. "I'll give you two," he added with a wink, not to be out done. He reached into his pocket and pulled out two quarters.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The lawyer looked at the television not quite paying attention as she went over plans in her head. Her work load had been thankfully light for a month or so prior to the 'incident'. She didn't have any active cases that required her presents in court so she decided to take a couple of weeks off (Citing a family emergency) of work to be there for Rachel. She had never taken off of work in the past and had only used two sick days since being at the firm so she knew she could swing the time off. It was agreed that Puck would stay in her din. Paige would have a guest room, while Brittany and Quinn shared the other. She had planned to put Rachel in her room when she was released from the hospital, and she would bring in her roller bed so that she could be there if the other woman needed anything in the night. They were going to be a packed house but after being alone for so long, Santana didn't mind the idea, especially if it meant she could have Rachel and Paige under the same roof.

The object of her affection stared lazily at the TV as Santana thought about how badly things could have gone. The man her ex had married could have killed her, leaving a terrified child without a mother. He was supposed to love and protect them, not be the source of their pain and she couldn't seem to understand how anyone could do what he did. He was lucky enough to get the girl and have a child with her, and yet he could hurt her like it was nothing. She hated that he had dropped off the face of the earth. If it hadn't been for the fact that Rachel and Paige needed her, she'd hunt him down herself. The Rachel Berry she had known was determined and held her head up high. She may have wanted things too much,

( to the point that she'd follow Finn around like a puppy or send a girl to a crack house) but she at least fought to be seen. Now Rachel had become the person who shied away from attention, who liked to hide away from the world.

"Rach?" Santana spoke. "I, uh…I think it's time we talked."

"Santana, I think this is a conversation that should wait," the other brunette said softly.

"We've been alone on and off all day. Nobody is coming back tonight except for the CNA. We can have this conversation now. I think it's long overdue." The Latina didn't bother using her placating tone. She was serious and she knew that they both needed this.

Hearing her former lover use a tone that she hadn't heard since the argument that they had had right before their break up all those years ago, the smaller brunette grudgingly agreed. "Okay."

"Do you want to start or should I?"

"Maybe it would be best if you do," Rachel replied, not knowing exactly where to start.

"Alright," Santana huffed, as she stood up and began pacing the floor. "First I need to apologize." Rachel quirked an eyebrow at this. "If I had done things differently- if I had tried harder to figure out how we could both have our dreams and each other I think things could have worked out better."

"No!" Rachel interrupted, "I made bad choices. I screwed up my life and I let the man I chose to spend my life with help me fuck it up."

"But my bad choices led to yours."

"That isn't true. You didn't want to let me screw it up. Letting me go was out of love. I should have fought harder to convince you that we could have it all. I was the one that gave up," Rachel said it with such finality that Santana took a moment to register the words. Hearing that her ex had been holding that inside for so long was like a sucker punch to the gut.

"Is that what you believe? That you could have changed my mind? I was going to be a distraction for you Rachel. You deserved better." Santana was almost angry at implications of the shorter brunette's words.

"I could convince you to do almost anything back then, but with that I caved. What the hell was that?" Rachel raised her voice to match the Latina's.

"Caving wasn't an option for me."

"It shouldn't have been for me either," Rachel shot back.

"You were caught off guard. I had a week to come up with a plan." Rachel recoiled at the thought of her ex plotting to end things between them.

"We aren't going to get anywhere talking about that. We're both going to take the blame so that we don't have to resent each other," said the smaller of the two.

The other woman took the words in to account and surmised that they were right. Neither of them was going to let the other take the full blame for the end of their relationship. "Okay, we can just say that we both could have handled things differently."

"Fine," the former diva said, glad that they could be done with the subject. "Any more questions?" She was being derisive, which would have annoyed the Latina if she hadn't missed Rachel's special brand of snarky.

"Actually I have a few," Santana said lowering her voice. Rachel knew what was coming next and suddenly wished they had continued dwelling on their breakup. "How did it even get to this point? How did he manage to break you down so much?"

Rachel took a deep breath, "Sit down Santana," she softly instructed. The former cheerleader complied to the command. "I have to say some things and they may be hard to hear. I need for you to listen and when I'm done I'll answer any questions you have for me, okay?" Santana silently nodded and motioned for her ex to continue. "I never doubted that you loved me. Not even after the breakup. I knew you broke it off because you loved me, not because you didn't care. You may have wanted me to believe otherwise, but I knew better." She turned away from the woman she still loved and focused he fully functioning eye on the wall ahead of her. "You know that I blamed myself for not fighting more. I guess I thought it meant that I hurt the one person in the world I wanted to hurt the least. Then I slutted around with all of those girls trying to find anything that made me feel close to you. I didn't care about their feelings. I didn't care if I was using them." Santana wanted to speak. She wanted to tell the little brunette that she wasn't a bad person but she honored the agreement of silence and continued to listen.

"I met him when I got into this off Broadway show. It was a revival of Westside Story. I was Anita" Rachel said fondly with a small smile. Santana knew this. She'd seen it, but still hadn't told anyone that she had. "Anyway, he was friends with Dennis, the guy who played Tony. Apparently he'd seen the show a couple of times and convinced Dennis to invite him back stage so that he could meet me. He had a bouquet of flowers." Rachel looked back over to the Latina with a sad smile. "I didn't accept them, but he kept coming back every night until the show ended. I finally took pity on him and agreed to dinner and drinks. He said all the right things, all the things I wanted to hear from the person I loved." She took a deep sigh before saying, "From then on he was always around. One day I admitted to him that I didn't love him. I told him that there was someone that I couldn't get out of my heart. Can you believe he told me that he understood and that he could make me feel the same about him?" She gave a little self-deprecating snort. "Almost as soon as I was done with the show I was so excited because I actually got a part in a Broadway show. I was Sister Mary Robert in Sister Act." Santana could see the pride on Rachel's marred face before the fell into sadness once more. "Right before the end of my contract I found out that I was pregnant. Jimmy had just finished graduate school and had this job offer at an advertising agency. When he asked me to come with him I just went. I left it all behind because I thought I could go back at some point. Right then, in that moment I just felt like I needed to be with the father of my child. But then time marched on and going back seemed less and less plausible. I had another life completely. When I finally started mentioning getting back into the performing arts again he would get so defensive. He'd ask how I expected to be a decent wife and mother when I was traipsing around trying to be famous. He started getting more jealous and possessive after that." Rachel stopped and for a moment before adding, "Not like you used to get. I wasn't turned on by it. I didn't have the urge to go prove to him that I was his in the bedroom. His possessive side was scary. It made him accuse me of things. I was constantly defending myself and walking on eggshells until one day I was chatting with one of his co-workers at a company party and it just set him off. He slapped me for the first time a little over two years ago."

Santana couldn't stay quiet. Not after that. It was a wonder she managed to stay silent for this long. "He had no right!" She hissed. "I don't care if you were blowing the guy right there in front of him. He had no right to put his hands on you that way."

"I know that now," Rachel quickly replied. "But then I felt like it was some kind of atonement."

"What could you have possibly done in life to warrant that?" The Latina was shocked at the admission.

"Letting you go; using women for sex; marrying a man I didn't love because he said he cared; willing to put my child's needs aside because I wanted to continue some silly childhood dream," the small brunette rattled out. "Plus there is all that crap I pulled in high school. Take your pick." She looked over at Santana's worried eyes. "I know better now. I do. The day he got so mad at me for smiling too long at our neighbor and literally beat the life out of me, my eyes were opened pretty wide. When I lost the baby, I knew things couldn't go on like that. It was like he lost any semblance of sanity by that point. No matter how much he said he was sorry I had to get away from that. I got a safety deposit box and started putting money and bonds that I had gotten from my fathers in it. They believe in rainy day funds and insisted that I didn't tell my husband about it. I was giving voice lessons on the side and I put a little away every chance I got. I was planning to save up and leave as soon as I could afford to disappear but then he slammed me up against a wall and knocked me around a bit one day right in front of Paige. I couldn't allow her to see things like that and not take action. He had a business trip a couple of days later so I called Erin and asked her to come get me. That's how I ended up here."

"It's like he made you forget how amazing you are, how capable you always were. Even when most of our school, including me, was trying our best to break you down and keep you in what we thought was your place; the one thing I always counted on was that you knew you were above it. Even when Finn made you feel like crap, you were able to channel all of it into positive things. You knew you were meant for great things and you never wavered. Now there are times when you act like you aren't worth loving. I don't just mean not feeling good enough," Santana sighed. "You act like you aren't worth loving all together. It scares the crap out of me."

Rachel sighed. "I'll admit that I didn't think very highly of myself for a long time. Sometimes I still feel like a complete fuck up but having my friends to love and support me makes me believe that I deserve so much more than what he gave me. I know that I've made mistakes as a mother but I'm not a bad one." She chuckled and added "I even know that I'm not exactly the worst person ever to grace Chicago. It's going to take some time for me to be a whole person again, but I am going to try my best to be who my daughter and the people I love need me to be."

Santana stood and walked over to her former lover, dropping a languid kiss on her forehead as a tear fell from her eye. This was the first time Rachel spoke of the abuse with her and while she wanted to kick that son of a bitch's ass, she couldn't help but feel like they had made progress. "We only need you to be Rachel Barbra Berry, not Rachel Howard. Be who you truly are. I'm here for whatever you need."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

After a few days of camping out at the hospital, Rachel was finally able to convince her former lover that she should take a few hours off. She loved having her there but she also knew that the other woman needed a break. At first Santana refused to go anywhere, but when the smaller of the pair told her she wanted her to spend the day with Paige and make sure that Puckerman wasn't corrupting her daughter, she agreed.

When Santana returned that afternoon she was joined by Paige and Puck. "I tried to stay away but the kiddies got anxious," The Latina said through a fit of giggles. Rachel took note that her two favorite girls were sporting the giddiest of smiles that she hadn't seen in days, which bought a genuine smile to her own pained face.

"Well I'm always happy to see the kiddies," The other brunette retorted. "I don't mind seeing you from time to time either," she added jokingly.

Each of the trio waltzed into the room and over to her bedside, both adult placing a small kiss on the unmarked area on her forehead. Puck swooped the little girl up in his arms and lowered her over her mother so that she could do the same.

As her daughter's lips pulled away, Rachel said, "Best kisses ever."

"You always say I give the best kisses, mommy," the child said, rebuffing her mother's placating statement. She was smiling all the while but she was a stubborn little thing.

"And I always mean it," her mother returned.

"Funny, she used to say that about me too," Santana said, disregarding the little ears in the room.

"I meant it then too," was the surprise response.

"Hey, I was pretty good," Puck cut in feeling a little left out.

"Best male kisser," Rachel said soothing the man's ego, though it wasn't a lie.

"That's right," Puck gave a cheeky lopsided grin and silently fist-bumped the air.

"Anyway," the former singer continued, "That's enough talking about that. My kid, who will in no way be kissing anyone the way you two are talking about until she is at least 20, is in the room."

Paige chose to ignore her mother's comment because she wasn't quite sure what she meant. As soon as she heard the pause in the woman's voice she excitedly blurted out, "Mommy, Uncle Noah taught me how to make a water balloon."

Rachel furrowed her brows and gave a pointed look Puck's way. "He did, did he?"

"Hey," the Jewish man said, lifting his hands in defense. "I only taught her how to make them. It wasn't like I was the one to show her how to throw them," he said looking over at the lawyer.

Before Rachel could open her mouth to scold her, Santana spoke up. "I didn't teach her to throw them at people. I specifically told her that she wasn't to throw them at people."

"So we threw them at mailboxes and random objects instead," Puck laughed.

"Santana Lopez," Rachel barked. "You were supposed to be chaperoning them, not aiding Noah in turning my little girl into a juvenile delinquent."

"Delinquents can grow up to be productive members of society," Puck said with mock offence. "I own a successful chain of mechanic shops and that one over there," he said pointing at Santana, "is a lawyer. The kid is bound to do even better."

Santana unsuccessfully attempted to stifle a laugh. Rachel eyed her with mild annoyance. "The two of you are insufferable. And you," she pointed at the Latina, "You're a lawyer sworn to uphold the law and you teach her these things? I refuse to be one of those mothers who are forced to pick up their teenaged child from a juvenile detention center because they have broken the law due to a misguided lesson from her aunt and uncle when she was five. And further more I….." She was interrupted mid rant as her friends looked at each other and burst out laughing. Santana was laughing so hard that tears had begun to form in her eyes. "What is so amusing that you had to interrupt me?" Rachel asked, annoyance growing into a painful pout. Paige, having no clue as to what was so funny, took her cues from her aunt and uncle and began to laugh along with them.

Santana turned her attention back to the woman in the hospital bed, "It's just, it has been so long since we've heard one of those wordy Rachel Berry rants." The Latin woman said with adoration in her eyes. "We've missed it."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at the confession. "Not that you have to do it all the time," Puck cut in, "but I don't mind it once every decade or so." They all continued laughing. It hurt Rachel to laugh that hard with her injuries, but it had been worth it.


	7. How to save a Life

**Thank you readers that are still sticking this ride out with me. I greatly appreciate your alerts, faves, and review. They give me a special kind of high. **

**Chapter summary:** A little bit of therapy, a dash of school, and a decision that should have been made forever ago.**  
>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Glee, Fox and Ryan Murphy do. Neither do I own the musical "Oliver".

Chapter seven- How to Save a Life

Rachel finally called her father's to clue them in on her situation. She'd downplayed things to the best of her ability and didn't mention the past abuse at all. Her dads were insistent upon coming to Chicago to be by her side but she begged them to stay away. She wanted their comfort, however, the thought of being seen the way she was by yet more people she loved was too difficult to think about. They agreed to stay away because Rachel had made it seem as if it was a minor domestic dispute that would soon be handled.

In truth the only reason she called was to make sure that they hadn't and wouldn't discuss her with Jimmy if he tried to reach out to them. She also wanted them to contact her if he were to do so. Unfortunately she found that even though she told them not to, she resented that they didn't anyway. She wasn't surprised that they deferred to her will because it seemed as if they had lost genuine interest in her as she approached her teen years and just never seemed to get it back. She knew they loved her, but sometimes she wished they'd make more of an effort.

It had turned out that he had hired a private investigator to find her. The man wasn't a bad guy, he was just gullible. Jimmy had told him that his wife had taken his daughter and his only interest was getting his little girl back from her addict mother. He'd signed a contract that said he wouldn't physically resort to violence against anyone after the investigator gave him the information he sought.

The theory was that Jimmy had been making plans to force his wife to go away with him and their daughter to a secluded area but once he got hold of the divorce papers he'd been set off. He'd cleared his checking and savings accounts and had headed to Chicago to collect his family the day of the attack. When Rachel resisted he lost what little sanity he had left. It was unclear as to why he didn't take Paige with him, but they were all glad that he hadn't.

Rachel was going to be in the hospital for no less than three weeks for Intervenes antibiotics and pain management purposes. It was going to be some months before she was going to be healed, however, with decent medication in addition to physical therapy; she was expected to recover fairly well. Normally a patient with broken femur would be encouraged to do light walking on crutches within the first couple of days of surgery, however, with Rachel's other injuries, it had to be put off for a while.

Quinn and Brittany flew to their respective homes and resumed work until Rachel was released from the hospital. They decided to that it would be their best course of action once they realized Rachel would be taken care of for a couple of weeks, but the day that the doctors had projected the little brunette could go home, they happily returned. Puck hung around until a few days after Rachel was set up at Santana's house before he returned to Harrington, though he called her three times a day. The police were going to be driving by the house regularly for a few weeks to make sure Rachel and Paige were safe, though both Santana and Puck felt like a cop should be stationed outside twenty-four seven.

Puck ended up cutting his losses and gave Santana one hundred and twenty bucks to have changed to quarters for Paige in his absents, though Santana took credit for it with the little girl. There was no way she would allow Puck to outdo her. Brittany and Quinn knew Santana enough to do their own exchanges, which they did upon their return. Rachel had begun to vehemently complain about the arrangement once she allowed herself to calculate how much money her little girl was acquiring. She found it utterly ridiculous for a five year old to be in possession of that much money. Eventually she was willing to compromise by insisting that the money go into a college fund for her daughter, to which both Santana and Puck agreed with fingers crossed behind their backs.

Paige had ideas of her own and had taken to filling socks that her uncle left in the laundry with her quarters, claiming that her pillowcase was too full and so were the second and third ones. She liked being able to pick her money up without spilling it everywhere. It was odd but the adults indulged it because after everything the girl went through, she deserved to have a few weird quarks and really, it could have been much worse.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

**Four Weeks at Santana's**

Rachel thought physical therapy was a bitch. It was taxing on her body and moving around hurt like hell. She didn't like the overly bubbly girl who insisted on talking entirely too much. The other woman was twenty-three almost as tall as Brittany and had way too many puppy dogs and rainbows coming out of her mouth. She would not shut up. Rachel cringed whenever the woman would come in contact with her. She anticipated Julie's rants and tried desperately to tune out when the woman started going on and on about how wonderful her success rate was. "I was at the top of my class," the annoying, curly- haired, dirty blonde would say. "You really lucked out with my superior skills. I'll have you running laps in no time, well after we get you walking without extra support." The short brunette found that all she wanted was lock the woman up in a small confined space, never to be heard from again. A basement perhaps? She could not wait to get away from the nut-job she was forced to spend three days a week with.

It took until the seventh appointment for it to hit her all at once. She had been well aware that back in high school her personality was somewhat of an acquired taste but WOW! When Quinn picked her up that afternoon, she was bombarded with "I'm so sorry I put you all through that's and "I can't believe I was so damn annoying's. It took two and a half hours for Quinn to assure the younger woman that she was not as bad as her crazy physical therapist.

**Seven Weeks at Santana's**

If physical therapy was hard, the therapy regarding her mental health was ten times more uncomfortable. As a child she had plenty of therapy regarding living in small town Ohio with two same-sexed parents and dealing with the poor treatment she'd been exposed to as a result of it. She had dealt with her childhood problems head on for years and it hadn't been anywhere near this intimidating. As a child she was told that things weren't her fault. She was assured that people had closed minds and was merely given someone who would listen to her problems and then return the favor by giving her tools to work through them. Now, however, she was absolutely sure that the doctor sitting across from her was going to repeat everything she'd told herself over the years. She hadn't been lying when she told Santana that she'd believed she was a good mother. She had meant it completely at the time, but she also had a way of changing her mind about these things on a fairly regular basis. One day she was the worst mother alive, the next she was a pretty damn good one, and then the next day she could be just plain indifferent about her mothering.

Rachel had only been included in one of Paige's therapy sessions thus far. The doctor explained that they would need some sessions together; however, the child needed a safe place to vent without worrying about her mother's feelings. Rachel was uncharacteristically okay with that because her daughter's health was more important to her than her need to know every detail of the sessions. The one session she'd joined her daughter in was, in Rachel's mind, a bit redundant because Paige hadn't revealed anything she hadn't already spoken about. The session was more or less rehashing old news, while her daughter played with the dolls provided by Dr. Hallstead. The doctor told her that it was progress because, while Paige was rehashing things, it was becoming easier for her to do so without getting upset. The former singer took the doctor at her word.

But now, when it was her turn to be mentally prodded, she was a mess of nerves.

"So," the short black woman began. "We've spent our last couple of sessions in near silence."

"Yes," Rachel mumbled back confirmation.

"You were doing pretty well with talking about the abuse you've endured at the hands of your husband and how it made you feel but as soon as topics of the miscarriage or your childhood come up, you get quiet."

"I'm not discussing the baby," Rachel said as if scolding a child. "As far as my childhood goes, I've already dealt with that stuff," she assured. I had a great one. The teen years had a lot of bumps but I had therapy back then to help."

"So your parents found it necessary for you to see someone?"

"Lisa, I lived in a small town full of small minded people. They were gay. Kids get teased. It was inevitable," Rachel replied with no real emotion.

"How did it feel?" The woman asked before taking a sip of her tea.

"It hurt at first but then I learned to deal with it. I knew I wasn't going to be stuck in that place forever."

"It's hard for a child to look past right now and look to a future where things can be better," replied the therapist.

"Not for me," Rachel said with a small swell of pride. "I had a goal set from the time I was a toddler. I had my eye on the prize all the time. I focused on School of course but I threw all of myself into dancing, acting, and singing. I was one of my glee club captains and I poured everything I could into it."

"You were a big fan of the preforming arts as a child as well?"

"As long as I can remember. I wanted to make it big on Broadway. Everything I did was just a stepping stone to make it happen. I wanted to be as good as Barbra. Everyone in my high school knew because I'd never let them forget it." the small brunette said with a sad smile."

"Did you allow yourself anytime to make friends with all that drive?"

"I made a few. It took some time but I managed to gain friendships through the glee club. I was really pushy and competitive so I wasn't the easiest person to spend time with," Rachel admitted. "Most of them were at the bottom of the social hierarchy so we were bound to fall into one another's orbits."

"All kind of in the same boat?"

"A few popular kids were able to maintain a decent social status, some went up and down but for the most part, we were the losers and I was at the bottom of the heap."

"Because you were…"

"Bossy," Rachel cut in. "Annoying, intense, too wordy, couldn't dress myself, too ugly, should have been sterilized." Rachel's laugh was bitter. She was disappointed in herself for allowing old feelings to become present ones. She was supposed to have been over all of these issues years ago. She currently had much more important things to think about."

The other woman nodded toward the box of Kleenex sitting next to her patient. Rachel plucked a tissue from the floral box and dabbed at her eyes.

"Did you tell anyone?"

It was a simple question, but it made Rachel angry. "Other than my therapist, who would I tell, my parents? I love them but when I hit fourteen they were barely around. The school faculty sat around and watched as students were called horrible names, hit with slushies and tossed into dumpsters. There was nobody to tell," she snapped. Rachel's outrage began to dissipate at the recognition of her attitude. She had reverted back to her drama queen mode, yet displayed something new as well. She was not at all impressed with herself. "Sorry about that. I tend to get a little overly dramatic about things." She said apologetically.

"No need to be sorry, Rachel," the dark woman spoke soothingly. "I want to know how these things make you feel, even if they were a long time ago."

"I couldn't change what people said or did to me, but I could be in charge of me. I could exercise, and eat the way I needed to. I could practice more than anyone else, get rid of threats when need be. I was driven because that's all I had, until…"

"Until what?"

"There were boys that I threw myself into, but it didn't throw me off of my focus. I may have obsessed over them a bit but Broadway was always my first love. But then there was this girl."

"Oh?"

"Yes. We were not friend in the slightest. She was a cheerleader. She hated me and I was not very fond of her, but one day we started forging this friendship and it eventually became more. She got me to loosen up. She was the first of anyone I dated to actually stand up for me without hesitation." She smiled as she thought about what once was. "I was a loser but I did date the quarterback on and off for a while. He never made me feel as good as she did. Anything she ever did to hurt me before we dated, she made up for ten-fold." Rachel inhaled a long overdue breath before finally saying out loud what she'd never though she voice." Before her the only time I didn't feel worthless was when I was focusing on my craft, but she changed all that."

"Let's back up for a moment. What do you mean when you say you got rid of threats?"

"I was extremely competitive. I fought for solos like they were all I had. Sometimes I felt like they were. There was this girl who was really good; maybe even better than me, not that I would admit it at the time. She was going to audition for the glee club. I felt threatened so I gave her a false address." Rachel looked to her lap feeling the shame as if she'd just been found out during her junior year.

"That was extreme," the therapist stated plainly.

"No, the fact that I sent her to a crack house was extreme, not that it was active though."

"Being the best meant so much to you that you were willing to put someone else in danger?" It wasn't said in an accusatory manner. It was just recognition of what was said.

"Yes. I made peace with her but that's what everyone will remember about me."

"Doing what it takes to achieve your goals is understandable, but what made you take it that far?"

"I told you before. Being the star made me feel worthwhile. She would have ruined that for me."

Surely there were other things that made you happy?"

Rachel shook her head earnestly. "When I was in relationships with boys, I fixated on them because I always felt like they were just waiting on something better to come along, but I still had the stage. There I could believe that there was no one better. Even when people made me feel like crap in the school hallways, I could tell myself that it was okay because one day none of it would matter. I would be a star and they would be stuck in Ohio living mediocre lives."

"You said that you calmed down when you became involved with the girl," the doctor said.

"Santana," Rachel stated. "Yes. I wasn't afraid to just let things be. I knew she wasn't going anywhere, which is crazy because she could have had her pick and she was good friends with two of her ex bed buddies. When we got together she always made me feel special. Even when we fought I knew we'd get through it."

"It isn't the healthiest to hinge your self-worth on other people's opinions of you."

"Don't we all? When people hate us, it makes us feel like less than. I grew up being hated. I may have hidden how much it hurt, but it did."

"I'm proud of you. You're making real progress. We still have work to do but this is the first time you've delved into your teen years and you admitted that it was hard on you."

"Um, thanks," was Rachel's reply. "I do want to get better."

"I never had any doubt of that. This isn't court ordered so I know you're here of your own free will," said the therapist.

Throughout her sessions, Rachel realized that her therapist was much harder to manipulate than the ones she had as a child and then a teen. She'd been able to limit the sessions to current events related to taunts and humiliation back then. Now, however, she found herself talking about feelings she'd never planned to express from her past and present. When she asked how any of it pertained to her current issues, her doctor merely said that it all ties into the choices she'd made. Rather than fight it, she chose to do all she could to 'fix' herself, so that she could be the mother she wanted to be. So she discussed her mommy issues, her past boyfriends, and random sexual encounters. She talked about what seemed like everything from her compulsive need to be center of attention as a kid, to her feeling her bones break as her husband shouted obscenities at her.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The end of August was nearing which meant that Paige would be starting Kindergarten. All the women were excited for the girl's first day of school; however, they all feared that Jimmy was just biding his time until he had an opening to snatch her. Suffice it to say, all six of them were present during the registration process and a long meeting was held between them, Mrs. Hodges, Mr. Merrill, and Ms. Briton; Paige's soon to be principal, vice principal, and teacher. Paige was never to wait outside of her classroom or the school office to be picked up and only one of the six were permitted to pick her up. Rachel almost felt bad for the three educators as they were nearly ambushed by a very intense Erin, Quinn, and Santana, who mentioned her law degree on more than once occasion, alongside Brittany who was trying to remind her two oldest friends that they had to keep their temper. Then there was Nomi, who also enjoyed mentioning that she wrote freelance articles for local papers and Rachel herself, who twitched nervously in her seat. By the end of it all a strict protocol was set in place for Paige at school.

The first day had been nerve wrecking for all of them, except Paige that is. She had been incredibly excited to go. Rachel, Santana, Erin, and Brittany all ended up on drop off duty. The only reason Quinn didn't complain that there wasn't room for her in the car was because she got the pleasure of picking her up along with Rachel, Brittany and Nomi.

The four of them walked the hyper child to class and all received quick pecks on the cheek before the little ball of energy skipped to the table seating two other girls that Ms. Briton instructed her to sit. Rachel and Erin dabbed at silent tears all the way to Santana's office. The Latina wiped at her eyes every so often but refused to acknowledge it. Brittany was a little on edge about Jimmy, the same as the rest, but she was probably just as excited as Paige about school so she was the one that was bouncing about. Her presence was greatly appreciated, especially at times like this. She reminded them that it was okay to allow the significance of the milestone to outweigh the fear in the back of their minds.

Once the Latina was dropped off at work, Brittany and Erin took Rachel to yet another therapy session.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"It's Paige's first day of school," the small woman blurted without prompting or coaxing.

"And what are you feeling about that?"

"Anxious, scared, happy, sad, worried, proud. I can't even settle on one," Rachel said dumbfounded. "Why can't I pick one feeling and go with it?"

"Who says you have to?" Lisa replied. "There's no rule that says you can't feel many feelings at once. Why don't we address why it is you feel each of your feelings."

"Okay well," Rachel took a deep breath. "I'm happy, sad, and proud for the same reasons. My baby is growing up. Soon she'll going to her first day of middle school, and then high school, college."

"That's perfectly normal. Most parents go through those feelings," the woman reassured, but not wanting to disregard the Jewish woman's feelings she added, "But know that they are very legitimate feeling whether they're common or not."

Rachel nodded. "I'm worried and scared because my ex is still skulking about and even though I've made the precautions to keep my kid safe, I can't help but be a bit apprehensive. So I can't wait until 11:45 so that I can see for myself that everything went well."

"That's also understandable for what you two have been through because of him."

"I realize that. I don't think I would have a few months ago though. I think I would have thought that I was wrong to have those feelings." For the first time in a long time Rachel was proud of herself. She recognized that she was slowly climbing out of the whole that was her life as Jimmy's wife and becoming her own again.

Lisa flipped through her notes. "Did you follow through on your homework from last week?"

"I did. I'm actually really happy that I did. It's been a long time since I did something on my own for just me."

"This is why I asked you to find something to do on your own to enjoy. Do you feel comfortable telling me what you did?"

"I went to see a community production of 'Oliver,' I haven't been to a play since I was last in one. It's been nearly six years." Rachel gave a shy smile.

"And you enjoyed it?"

"Well it was pretty good for a local production," Rachel started, "though I do believe that I could have portrayed a much better Nancy." Rachel surprised herself with her answer. She hadn't been the girl that would say something like that in years. Nor had she let herself think of being on the stage again.

The other woman chuckled at the response. "I'm sure you could have."

Rachel took a few moments contemplating whether or not she wanted to bring up the subject in her mind, but eventually decided to do so. She wasn't going to get better if she couldn't be honest about this. "I knew what the play was about but I went to see it anyway." The therapist was about to ask her what the significance was just as the brunette continued. "There's this scene where Nancy is beaten to death by her boyfriend, Bill Sykes. It isn't graphic or anything but I wanted to see if I could handle it."

"And could you?"

"I cried. It hurt to see so I cried," she answered feeling a flush of embarrassment.

"It was an honest feeling, Rachel. You've spent a lot of time hiding your negative feelings. I think this was a great start."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

That afternoon Rachel, Quinn, Nomi, and Brittany were regaled with tales of life in Kindergarten. They got to hear all about the class goldfish who was dubbed Henry by the students. There was chatter about Leeann and Jacquelyn who sit at her table in class and are now her best friends, and how Jacquelyn likes to be called Jack because she thinks it's a cooler name. Leanne was apparently a master with crayons because she could draw dogs better than anyone in their class. That evening when the remaining members of their group showed up for dinner, the stories were recounted once again.

It wasn't until the next week that their first issue with school came up. Paige had come home in a foul mood with a note in hand stating that she had a verbal altercation with another student and had been given a warning. Rachel tried to talk about it with her daughter but the girl was tight lipped. The mother was trying to find the balance between normal childhood disputes and potential abusive traits. Her kid was most definitely feisty. She wasn't the type to roll over and be walked all over, which Rachel admired in the child, however she didn't want her kid to be a bully and she wasn't sure how to even it all out. "Baby you have to consider other people's feelings," Rachel said as sweetly as she could, trying not to sound accusatory.

"I did," the child whined.

"How so?"

Paige didn't answer and refused to discuss it any further; that is until Santana came home and was informed of the situation. "What's up, tiny tot? Mommy told me you had a lot going on today." The little girl was sitting on the bed in the room she'd claimed as her own, playing with one of the socks she'd filled with quarters. Santana could see that she was thinking deeply about something. "I heard that you're not talking about it but we can't understand if you don't let us know what's going on in the brilliant brain of yours."

"Mommy will be sad if I tell her," the little girl said quietly.

"Tell you what," The lawyer said as she sat down next to her tiny tot. "Why don't you try it out on me and then we'll figure out the best way to tell mommy?"

Paige nodded and faced the woman. "Me and Jack and Leanne were playing on the swings and Josh wanted to play on one. Jack told them we were there first and then Josh said her shirt was ugly, so I told him his face was ugly. Then he said I had a big nose, so I said he had ears like a monkey. Then Leanne told him to go away and he told her that he didn't have to. Then he started making fun of Jack because she likes to be called a boy's name. We tried to ignore him but then he said that we were too stupid to tie our own shoes so I told him that I would ram my shoe strings down his throat. That's when the teacher on playground duty took us to our class and we had to miss the rest of recess."

Santana listened to the breakdown of what had happened without interruption. She wasn't completely sure how to handle the situation because it reminded her of her own playground run-ins. All she could do is stifle her inner laughter the best she could and go with, "Sweetie, I'm proud of you for standing up for your friends and yourself, but we have to try our best on to make other people feel bad. Just because Josh was being mean doesn't mean that you should be." She gave her younger companion a hug before continuing. "Maybe we can work on ways to deal with these things without hurting other people's feelings, or at least not threating people." Paige gave up a little smile. "Hey I understand. I used to be pretty bad about that kind of stuff but I waited a really long time before I tried to change it. You're a lot smarter than I was because you're going to start working on it now, right?"

"Right," Paige said proudly.

"Now I think I feel like getting out some," she started out prolonging the last word, "tickling." The Latina brought the child into a fit of giggles laughs and gasps.

Rachel watched through the little open space of the bedroom door as her two favorite girls enjoyed their time together. It fit so wonderfully into place. This is what she'd always wanted, a safe place with the person she loved and a child to complete the picture. Sure she wanted fame but this dream was ever present as a companion to it. Why was she holding back so much? She knew the logical reasons but it all sounded so… well for lack of a better word, idiotic in her head as she watched the scene before her.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The time on the digital clock read 3:26 when Santana woke up to hear Rachel shifting in her bed before the sound of a glass clinked against the nightstand. She listened in silence and stared off into the darkness, waiting for any sign of distress. When Rachel was feeling down, she felt the urge to drink a glass of water so she went to bed with one every night in case a nightmare surfaced.

"You're staring," she heard from the other woman as she situated herself on her back.

"I like to stare at you," she said quietly.

"You can't even see me," was the retort.

"Guess I'll just have to use my imagination."

Rachel chuckled at that for a brief moment and then proceeded to settle into the silence. Santana closed her eyes once more and made an attempt to go back to sleep. A few minutes in the silence was once again ended by the other woman.

"It was a boy," Rachel said plainly.

"What?"

"I was seventeen weeks in when I lost him. I'd just found out his sex a few days earlier."

Santana squinted in the dark for a few seconds before it hit her. They hadn't really discussed the issue much. "I'm so…"

Rachel interrupted her words. She didn't raise her voice, or show emotion in her words. She simply continued. "I wanted to name him Parker Scott. I thought it would be cute if he had the same initials as his big sister." She took a moment to try and choke down the sadness that was bubbling up and then allowed herself to go on. "We had this neighbor, Mr. Wallace. Mid fifties, a widower. He reminded me of dad Hiram. They had the same build." the small brunette sniffled. He was a sweet guy, but lonely. We used to have little chats about random things like gardening or books, things like that."

"Sounds like a nice man."

"He was," Rachel confirmed. I imagine he still is. I haven't talked with him since that day. We were talking on his front porch. I don't even remember what about. Jimmy came home from some business lunch and he was pretty happy. He was buzzed and he was always a happy drunk. He said hi to us with a huge smile on his face, twirled me around and gave me a kiss. He told Mr. Wallace that it was good to see him and went into the house. I talked for about ten more minutes and then went inside to get my purse and car keys because it was getting close to time to pick Paige up from a her play date. This time I just didn't see it coming. He was usually sober when he flew off the handle like that. 'Apparently I have a tattoo on my forehead that says I sleep around with every man I smile at or have a conversation with.' All of a sudden my face and side were getting quite acquainted with a wall."

The grinding of Santana's teeth was hardly subtle but Rachel seemed to be in some kind of trance that compelled her to finish her story regardless. "I said he beat me before, but now that I think of it, it was more like being swung around. I couldn't tell you which one did it; one of the wall encounters, or maybe the falling over the chair trying to get away. I suppose it could have been when I tried to fight back and ended up falling on my ass in the bathroom with Paige's plastic baseball bat. All I know is that too long after he tore out of there all pissed off, I felt like my belly was being set fire to from the inside out and there was blood. I remember thinking I was already late picking up Paige and I was going to get blood all over the place when I got out of that bathtub." The former diva let out what could only be described as a sadistic laugh. "He came back I don't know how long later and found me in the tub. He said that Paige was staying the night with her friend. Then he went and changed into some sweats and he picked me up and took me to my car and lay me down in the back seat. He started to cry and apologize while he drove. When we got to the ER he said that I'd been mugged and I went along with it. Even filed a false police report."

"Son of a bitch," the Latina muttered angrily.

"When I told Shelby she said, 'Why didn't you just give the guy your damn purse, Rachel?" Rachel gave an exaggerated impression of her biological mother. "I actually laughed because I would have said the same thing in her place."

"Rache…."

"My dads wanted to come and be with me but I told them not to. Everyone thought I was being so cold because I wouldn't cry. Even Jimmy cried for our son. When he realized his boy was gone, god I'd never seen him so broken." Santana wanted to scream that he only cried for his guilt, but she didn't want to stop Rachel from finally talking about it. "Erin was the only one that wasn't standing by judging me because I wasn't a wreck. But you see I knew from the moment I felt the burn in my gut that he was gone. I knew but if I had started to cry about it, I wouldn't have stopped. My daughter had lost her brother and she needed me to be strong for her." Rachel felt the tears spill over.

"You lost a son too. You are allowed to morn him," Santana said as she slipped out of her bed and felt her way over to the one Rachel was occupying.

"I plotted instead. I started planning on leaving and…..and." The tears were full force as the lawyer placed herself in the bed next to Rachel and held her close.

"Just feel what you have to feel."

"I fucking hate him!" Rachel tried to keep her voice low, as not to disturb the other occupants of the house in their slumber, though her voice had considerably risen.

"That makes more people than I can count," whispered the Hispanic woman.

"My little boy died and we got to go on living like it didn't matter. My Parker can't ever come back and they think I don't care," The smaller brunette sobbed into Santana without restraint. "But I did. I promise I loved him so much."

"I know you did, baby," Santana said with a determination. "Everyone that matters knows that you loved him."

"They don't even know he was a boy. I just couldn't tell them," Rachel choked out. But he was my boy and I would have done anything for him, San. I wanted to be his mom so much."

"And he knows that. You know that. Honey, you have always been capable of so much love."

"I don't want to waste any more time." Rachel said through crocodile tears.

"On what, babe?"

"On being too scared to move on. I'm getting better Santana. I know I am and I want to be with you."

Santana leaned in to close to Rachel and said, "You always have been Rach." Even in the dark they managed to find each other's lips. It was soft, new, and familiar all at once. Rachel was the one who dominated the kiss by demanding Santana to part her lips so that her tongue could gain entrance. The Latina gladly allowed it, knowing that Rachel needed to have this control. Santana took in the smell of the Vanilla shampoo the other woman used on her hair and melted further into bliss.

After what was not nearly long enough the smaller woman broke the kiss. "I can't stand the thought of being apart from you. I don't want to ever go through that again."

"Then I guess we're stuck with each other," the Latina cooed, wrapping herself around Rachel the best she could.

"I guess so." The pair drifted off to sleep with a certain comfort that had eluded them for far too long.


	8. Make Things Right

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee, Fox and Ryan Murphy do. Nor do I own the musical "Oliver". I only own the silliness in my head.  
><strong>Chapter summary:<strong> Pretty much Paige and/or Pezberry fluff for this one. I wanted to do something happy for this chapter because the next chapter is going to throw us into some violent agst. **  
>Chapter AN:** I apologize for not depicting Rachel's physical progression or the time frame well in the last chapter. It was brought to my attention and I feel I should address it. I'm not going to go back and rewrite it but at this point in the story it has been about thirteen weeks since the "incident" so right now it's her fractured femur that is troubling her the most.

**Thanks again for your review, faves, and alerts. I love you for that. **

Chapter Eight- Make Things Right

_Hands roaming across smooth calves, over her ass _

_Hands rediscovering her_

_Feeling their way across her new belly that still shows a hint of when it once bore life into the world_

_Where life was also lost, leaving it hollow_

_Sweet kisses trailing over skin, over scars and mostly faded bruises_

_The warmth of breath and then soft wetness_

_Soft warm wetness that feels so familiar in its quest._

_Fingers examining, delving into moist folds, swiping across velvety walls thick with inviting desperation_

_Lips pressing into the valley between her wanton peaks_

_Guttural moans filling the air as fingers slip beyond folds and enter snug walls, welcoming the invasion_

_The liberation_

_Thumb caressing the pulsing bud_

_Digits still re-familiarizing curling deeper_

_A third added, the way it used to be._

_Hitting the sweetest spot_

_Shaking, tensing, clinching, scratching_

_Heavy panting, lustful groans, crashing down _

_They found each other and they were home_

Rachel rolled over feeling completely blissful. She fluttered her eyelids open, meeting dark orbs and a warm smile. "Mmmmm," she let out with a lazy smile of her own. "How long have you been watching me Ms. Lopez?"

"About fifteen minutes give or take a few," the lawyer replied. "You looked too cute to wake, and too sexy to take my eyes away."

"I had the best dream ever," chirped the smaller of the pair.

"Oh? What about?" Santana wore one of her famous smirks as she unconsciously circled patterns across the back of her girlfriend's left hand.

"I dreamt that my sexy as hell, badass lawyer girlfriend made love to me for the first time in years and while she was the best lover I ever had, she completely out did herself this time around."

"Wow," chuckled the Latina. "Sounds like she's a hot peace of ass."

"That she is."

"Play your cards right and you can have that dream every night," Santana replied as she ran her hands through Rachel's hair. She had been growing it out since she had taken up residence in the hospital and decided to continue once she had been discharged.

"I now have a greater appreciation that Paige was never the type to want to sleep with me at night."

"Tiny tot is a force of nature," chirped the caramel skinned woman. "She could take any monster under her bed."

"How would a monster fit under there?" Rachel giggled. "With all those damn quarters under that thing there would be nowhere to hide. Can we please end this and take them to the bank now?"

"No can do, babe. The deal was until you're all healed up. Your leg still has some work to do."

"As annoyed as I am at you for starting all of that quarter business, I really love that you did that for her. It made her feel like she was helping in some way and that made her feel a little better," There was pure adoration in the Jewish woman's voice.

"She served the same purpose for me. I don't know what I would have done had I not had her to focus on in that moment. We kind of needed each other."

It had been two weeks since the pair had decided it was the right time to make things official between them but Rachel was still sporting a wrapped leg, crutches, and some physical pain that she refused to vocalize. Santana was terrified of hurting her. She'd just gotten her back after all; she didn't want to have any setbacks. But a trip to the doctor the previous afternoon had revealed that things were moving along nicely. Thankfully the cuts to her side had been shallow so they were now simply marks. Her wrist had been healed for weeks, ribs were no longer an issue, and her face had returned to its previously beautiful state. After the doctor's confirmation, there was no denying her little lady what she wanted. The deal was that Santana would be the one doing all the work. It was the one thing she wouldn't budge on.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_**Thirteen days earlier….**_

All Brittany said was, "I expect both of you to be good to each other," and went to grab Paige for dinner.

"It's about time you two got you crap together. Don't screw it up," This of course had come from Quinn. She had had her fill of the emotional hurricane that was Pezberry so she wasn't going to get into big discussions about it.

There were no grand announcements of their renewed romance to the other woman. They'd all figured it was more of a matter of when and not if. The first time they kissed in front of the group, they of course got soft encouraging cheers and even Quinn had a genuine smile on her lips.

That evening Erin requested Santana escort Nomi and herself to their car. The Latina braced herself for the speech to come. "Relax," chuckled Erin, "I'm not going to give you the 'If you hurt her I'll bla, bla, bla' speech." Relived at that, the lawyer leaned herself against the silver car. Nomi chuckled and reached up to peck her tall lover on the cheek before opening the passenger side door and letting herself in.

"So what speech _are _you going to give me?"

"Look, I know you love Ray. I know you love Paige and they love you. There is absolutely nothing that makes me think that you would ever want to hurt them. Anyone can see that. Plus y'know I pretty much like you."

"That's good to know," Santana smirked.

"Having said that…"

"Oh, here we go," Santana sighed resisting the urge to roll her eyes.

"Oh just listen," the taller woman didn't bother holding back her eye roll. "What I was going to say was having said that, I will always have Ray's back first. Well after wifey in there anyway." She smiled adoringly and motioned at the Korean woman. "Whenever you have a disagreement, or one of you does something incredibly stupid, it's her back I'm going to have, even when she's wrong. I may have to be the one to tell her she's wrong, but I will never go to you to say that you're right."

Santana knew what the woman was getting at. They were friends but Rachel was her priority. She felt the same way when it came to Quinn and James and Brittany and Artie. Her loyalties lay with Rachel. "I get it."

"Good," Erin answered back as the started walking to the driver's side of the car. "Now thanks to all the flufftasic displays of affection between you two, my woman is ready for some serious lovin' of her own." She winked. "And I'm not one to disappoint." Santana cringed and waved a quick goodbye before rushing back into the house hoping to ward off any unwanted images.

_**Twelve days earlier….**_

When Santana talked to Puck all he said was, "Same speech applies as last time."

"Even the spank bank?"

"Especially the spank bank." She could practically hear his eyebrows waggling.

"I'll be sure to let your wife knows that," she laughed.

"I don't give a shit, Lopez," she heard Lauran's voice filter through the earpiece.

"The fuck, Puckerman? You could have told me I was on speaker!"

"Santana," the man chuckled.

"What?"

"You're on speaker."

"Oh, fuck off!" Santana said annoyed.

"Good idea," Puck returned. "Gotta go. My woman is jonesin' for a ride on the Puckmister." And he was gone. She shuddered at the implication. At least the thought of Erin and Nomi was a tolerable one. She made sure to kiss her girl thoroughly as soon as she got her alone to wash the traumatic images out of her head.

_**Eight days earlier….**_

Having grown up knowing that her grandfathers were a couple and being around Erin and Nomi, Paige pretty much understood the concept of her mother and her Auntie Santana being together. She understood that her parents were not in a relationship anymore, and had been aware of that for months as well. The girl did, however, voice other concerns.

"Are you gonna kiss and hold hands like Auntie Erin and Auntie Nomi?" The child asked with scrunched up face. The pair only ever gave each other pecks on the lips in front of Paige but they were quite the affectionate duo.

"Yeah, that's likely to happen," Rachel answered with a little grin. Santana chuckled.

"Gross."

Rachel's face began to waver so Santana picked up the conversation. "Does it bother you to think about Mommy and me being together like that?"

"Why do you have to kiss on the lips? It's icky. Josh tried to kiss me on the lips and I…."

"Yeah," the mother asked, suddenly finding her voice again.

Paige huffed at having to admit to what she'd done a few days earlier. "I pushed him down and told him if he told on me I'd tell on him." Santana couldn't stifle the snort.

Rachel didn't want her child to be a bully but in that case she felt like her kid had the right to defend herself from some little boy trying to force himself on her. Okay so she was probably being overly dramatic about it all in her head, but that kid had no business kissing her daughter, even if he was only five years old himself. "Well I don't like that you had to push him but I'm not mad because you're allowed to make someone stop touching you if it makes you feel bad." They had had the inappropriate touching talk a few times as well. One thing Rachel never lost about herself was preparation and planning.

"Come here tiny tot," The Latina cooed and held out her arms. Paige readily sprung up from her position between the two adults on the couch and plopped her little body into the woman's lap. Santana wanted to do this right. She wanted to say all the right things and reassure the girl in every way. Realizing that there was no way they were going to accomplish all of that in one conversation so she decided to stick with the most important points. Rachel scooted her body over so that they were hip to hip. "When grownups love each other they like to hold hands and kiss. I'll try really hard not to do that too much in front of you but I really love your mommy so it's going to be pretty hard not to. I've loved her for a very long time. I missed her a lot and I may forget and end up holding her hand and kissing her more than I mean to because I didn't get to for so long."

Paige looked at her mother and saw her smile wide. She was only five but even she could see that she never remembered seeing her mom smile like that at her daddy, or anyone else for that matter. Her mommy had a special smile reserved only for her, but this was different. "Are you going to get married too? Auntie Erin and Auntie Nomi said that they wanted to get married someday like granddad Hiram and granddaddy Leroy."

"Paigey, Santana and I have a lot to work out and need some more time together before we think about anything like that. But if we decide to you'd be the first person to know, okay?"

"You promise?"

"Of course, we would have to tell our favorite girl very first," the lawyer said heartily.

Paige beamed up at her Auntie Santana, though the smile soon turned into a sad one "Are you going to be mean to Mommy? I don't like it when she's sad."

Rachel went to answer but her lover gave her a gentile look that said 'let me try to explain' so she closed her mouth. "I don't like to see her sad either. I can't promise that we won't argue because we both can be really hard headed when we want to be. I can promise that I won't do what daddy did because that isn't love. You don't hurt the people that you love that way." Paige seemed to believe her but it was understood as to why she would have misgivings when it came to her mom in a relationship. The only one she'd ever seen her in, was abusive emotionally, verbally, and physically. Santana reached into her pocket and brought out the charm bracelet Rachel had given her all those years ago. "I want to show you something," she said as she dangled the piece of jewelry in front of the tiny brunette. "Your mom gave me this back when we went to school together. See the little gold stars?"

Paige nodded. "Can I hold it?"

"Sure you can." Santana placed the shiny gift into onto the little girl's palm. "I kept it because it made me feel close to her even when she was far away."

"It's pretty," Paige said in awe as she marveled at it.

"Thank you. Maybe when you get a little older you can borrow it." Both Rachel and her junior found themselves nuzzling into a very delighted Santana in contentment.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_**Six days earlier…..**_

Brittany and Quinn had put their own lives aside for a few months in order to help their friend recover but now it was time to get back to them. The day prior to the departure was full of laughs and tears. Even Erin and Nomi had become fairly close to the two blondes during their stay. Erin and Quinn had started off rocky but the taller woman was eventually able to see just how much Quinn really did care for Rachel. Nomi wasn't privy to much chatter and had a tendency to stay out of altercations; however, she still managed a friendship with the others. At first she felt like somewhat of an outsider as did they all at some point, seeing as how half of them knew Rachel in one life and the other knew her in another. As their lives began to intertwine those feeling began to dissolve.

Paige took it the hardest and wouldn't speak to either of them for a few hours. It took Quinn explaining how they lived in other places and that the their jobs and the men in their lives had been very understanding about them being gone for so long but that it was time to go back to them. There were promises and invitations to visit, which made it a little bit easier on the girl. What got her to completely accept it and be happy was what came out of Brittany's mouth.

"Can I tell you a secret?" The tall blond said without trying to quiet her voice. She bent down to look Paige in the eye. The tiny girl bit her bottom lip in anticipation. "I'm going to have a baby so I really need to get back to my boyfriend." Apparently during the two weeks she'd gone home before Rachel had been released from the hospital, she and Artie made up for lost time quite a bit. The room was quickly filled with gasps and congratulations. Paige jumped up and down. "When it comes out of my tummy he or she will be your little cousin," the blond said excitedly.

"I get a cousin!" She squealed to her mother.

"Yes you do," Rachel responded with just as much excitement in her voice.

Santana pulled her oldest friend into a hug. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I wanted to wait a while to make sure everything was right. I went to the doctor here but I set up an appointment with a doctor at home too."

"Between you and Artie that kid is going to be a dancing generous, with major chops," said the lawyer.

"That's the plan," the dancer said rubbing her well hidden baby bump.

"My turn for a hug," Quinn said almost teary-eyed. Before she could let go Nomi and Erin had joined in.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS **

_**Two days earlier….**_

The first day that Santana had togo to work after Brittany and Quinn had gone home made her a wreck. The police were no longer doing their drives through the neighborhood much to her chagrin. She wanted to hire someone to guard her girlfriend and the girl who had come to be like a daughter, but Rachel refused to let her do it. She was sick of living in constant fear and having to be babysat. According to the former diva, Santana's security system would suffice.

The Latina inwardly contemplated getting a gun and locking it up in her safe, however; even if she kept it from Rachel, the thought of Paige somehow stumbling across it completely ejected the idea from her brain. In an attempt to end the argument, Nomi volunteered to stay with her during the day for a couple of weeks since she had already been slated to pick Paige up from school midday and mostly working from home anyway. The two women agreed but Santana was still on edge. As soon as she could she was out of her office and on her way home. When she got there she was met with the most beautiful sound she'd heard in years.

_**I'll do anything  
>For you dear anything<br>For you mean everything to me.**___

_I__** know that  
>I'll go anywhere<br>For your smile, anywhere -**__  
><em>

The former diva was belting out this happy go lucky song that the lawyer had never heard before. For the first time in so long, her lover sang without sadness or strain. There was pure happiness lacing every word. Paige danced in front of her mother in the dining room as she sang.

_**For your smile, ev'rywhere -  
>I'd see.<strong>_

_**I'd risk everything  
>For one kiss - everything<br>Yes, I'd do anything...**_

_**Anything for you!**___

"Again mommy, again."

"Yes. Again mommy, again," Santana mimicked.

"Oh, Santana!" Rachel turned to get a view of her girlfriend. "I didn't hear you come in."

"You were a little preoccupied," she laughed.

"Oh, yeah. Ever since I went to see "Oliver" I've had that song stuck in my head. I finally decided it was okay to sing it."

"I miss that voice."

"I didn't realize until now how much I missed it too."

"I don't have any meeting tomorrow until two 2:30 so I can accompany you to the doctor tomorrow," Santana said as she plopped down in a chair next to Rachel.

"Great," the little brunette chirped. "Nomi can have some babysitting reprieve."

"So where is Nomi?" Santana said, suddenly furrowing her brow.

"She's in the guestroom getting some work done. She has a deadline to meet."

Santana sighed with relief. "Okay."

"Mommy, again. Please?" Paige said once more.

Rachel looked to her girlfriend. "Hey, don't look at me," giggled the lawyer. "I'm with tiny tot on this one."

"Well who am I to pass up a standing ovation," joked the shorter woman.

_I'll do anything  
>For you dear anything…..<em>

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_**The night before…... Post coital cuddling**_

"_How could you humiliate me like that? You were all over Phil in front of all my co-workers; in front of my fucking boss!" _

"_I was not. We were talking, that's it. Why would you think anything less of me? I'd never do that."_

"_And would it kill you wear a skirt that didn't make you look like a little tramp!"_

"_You didn't say anything about my skirt when we left the house," Rachel reasoned. _

"_I'm sorry I can't be your precious high school sweetheart."_

"_I didn't ask you to be. I never wanted that from you. I just wanted you to love me. Where did that even come from?" Rachel spat at the tall man with broad shoulders. _

"_You don't think I see you looking at every guy around here. You've been talking to him haven't you? You're waiting for him to come get you."_

"_You're not making any sense. We're married, Jimmy. You and I are married with a child. I'm not going anywhere."_

"_Damn right you're not! You said vows."_

"_I know I did and I'm honoring them, which is a lot more than I can say for you!"_

"_What the hell is that supposed to mean huh?"_

"_I know you've been screwing around. I had to come back home to grab my wallet, I saw you the other day. What possessed you to do that in our home? The place where we're raising our daughter? The bed you share with me? Was she really worth that?" Rachel's eyes began to well with tears._

"_Yes, because I wouldn't have to if you would act like a wife. You're too busy trying to get back on that stage and find your way back to some guy who hasn't thought about you in years. If he really loved you Rachie, why the fuck isn't he here? Face it; I'm the only one who wants anything to do with you. You're pathetic. All anyone's going to want with you is a piece of ass and that isn't worth much," The man seethed._

"_That's not true!" She yelled desperately. _

"_Oh, but it is."_

"_Go have a drink Jimmy. It'll calm you down." It was crazy how it was so bass ackwards with her husband. He was calmer drunk than sober. _

"_Don't tell me what to do damn it. You're my wife, I run this house." Before he could finish the sentence he'd delivered the first blow. The slap would lead to more slaps, and then pushes, punches, the death of a child and eventually a broken woman on a living room floor and a cowering child in the next room, hoping that her mother would be okay. _

Santana watched as her girlfriend dreamed next to her. She knew that Rachel had abandonment issues. It hadn't even taken her own foray into therapy a couple of years earlier to figure that out. Rachel had been abandoned by most of the few people that claimed to care about her in her life up until recently, so it made sense that she would abandon her friends once she left Lima. It wasn't right, but it was understandable.

Hiram and Leroy loved their daughter dearly but they didn't really show much interest in her day to day life once she'd become a teenager. Then there was Puck who dropped her in favor of popularity when seventh grade came around, though they were able to reconnect by junior year. Jesse had befriended her under false pretenses and then proceeded to claim to love her, only to breakup with her in front of their glee clubs and then humiliate her by egging her in her own school parking lot. Then there had been Finn. He broke her heart repeatedly for a year and a half and played the good natured sweetheart while she was portrayed as the overbearing loser who was lucky to have him sacrifice bits of popularity by being seen with her. Even mister Shuster, who had been Rachel's favorite teacher, sat around and allowed people to verbally abuse her, yet didn't mind reprimanding her when she acted out. Shelby took the cake. She'd gone out of her way to manipulate Rachel into finding her as an attempt to keep from violating a contract. Once she had gotten a chance to meet her, she went on to tell her that she wasn't what she wanted and sent her on her way. To add insult to injury, she turned around and replaced her with the child of a friend who'd abandoned her a few years prior and a girl who hated her and actively made her life miserable for years. Santana herself had also left Rachel. Even if they both knew the reasons were noble, that one stung right up there with Shelby.

So Santana could understand why Rachel would leave it all behind her once she got to New York. She supposed that all of that stuff had something to do with why Rachel stayed in an abusive marriage for so long. Every time she heard her lover whimper in her sleep or saw flicker of her fear cross her face she got angry and sad all over again. Most of it was directed at Jimmy, though she had some resentment for a hell of a lot of other people, including her and even a little for the very lover in her arms who was squirming away in her slumber.

She supposed she couldn't fault Rachel for getting into a relationship with the man in the first place. From what she'd been told he was a charmer and he told her all the things she'd wanted to hear. For the first time Rachel was involved with someone that was clingy with her and not the other way around. And though Santana hated that they'd been involved sexually, she understood that there would have not been a Paige Santana Howard if there had not been. So she also knew that Rachel would never regret having been with the man in the first place. Rachel had told her one night that Jimmy was the type to hold on too tight. He could smother you until all you thought you had left was him. She knew that no matter how many business trips or affairs he had he'd always come back to her and Paige. But she often believed if she could just love him better that he would quit punishing her for still loving Santana. The thought had made the Latina sick to the point where she ended up racing to the bathroom to empty the contents of her stomach.

Santana's musings were halted by a shake of the body next to her. Her partner seemed to be a bit more distressed than mere minutes earlier which motivated the lawyer to wake her from whatever discomfort she was feeling.

"Rach, wake up." She gently shook the other woman. "Wake up baby. Come on. Wake up for me." Rachel's eyes groggily opened. "Hey there. It sounded like you could use a break from sleeping."

Rachel went to speak but found that her throat was dry. She slowly sat up and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand greedily took in half the glass.

"Want to talk about it?" Santana asked.

"I know I was dreaming I'm just not sure what it was about," the former diva admitted.

"Still, is there anything you want to talk about?" Santana repeated.

"No. I just want to lay with you and enjoy the afterglow of what we did earlier."

"You got it," said Santana. The two nestled back into one another intertwining fingers and went on about getting a good night's sleep.


	9. Saving Myself

**Chapter summary: **Plans for the future and putting the past to rest. **  
><strong>

**Thanks again for all of you who added this story to your faves and alerts. Love the reviews as well; they make me all kinds of happy. I am addicted and can always use a fix.**

Chapter Nine- Saving Myself

**Five weeks later…..**

Because Jimmy had yet to show his face, Rachel's divorce went off without a hitch. At the advice of both her lawyer and her girlfriend, the smaller brunette also took steps to make sure she was granted sole custody of Paige.

It was a new feeling entirely for Santana. It wasn't that she had never seen herself having a family. Hell, she'd even thought of having one with Rachel, however, thinking about it and actually getting it were two very different things. Well technically they were two girlfriends and Paige was Rachel's kid but it sure felt something akin to a family. Paige had even gone from calling her Auntie Santana to calling her Tana and both women thought the nick name was the cutest thing ever. The way they slipped into their roles was natural. While they had their challenges, they were pretty content with their new lives together.

The small Brunette had even gone back to giving voice lessons. This time around was different though. She was actually chipper when she'd return from giving them. The ach of loss no longer seemed to hamper the woman the way it had before. No one was more relieved at the change than her girlfriend. To see that glint back in those pretty brown eyes was enough to make anyone's heart melt.

Rachel had finally healed enough that she no longer needed physical therapy, nor did she need physical support. She needed mild pain relief from time to time, but she was getting stronger every day. She was still going to therapy as was Paige, a process that would be on going for a long while. Rachel had slowly started to reveal more about the life she lead when they were apart and the Latina followed suit. They were moving forward and both Rachel and Santana found that they were happier than they had ever been.

The two were trailing out of the doctor's office hand in hand when Rachel sweetly said, "You know what this means right?"

The lawyer put the sultriest look on her face and slightly bent down to the other woman's ear. "That I can finally get you into some of those positions you used to like so much."

Rachel giggled before replying. "Well that too. But what I was referring to was that we can finally get rid of all those damn quarters," she excitedly proclaimed.

"Oh yeah that," Santana feigned innocence. "I suppose we can. How about we all go to the bank on Thursday when Paige gets out of school? I'll be free all afternoon."

"Sounds like a plan," Rachel grinned. "Now, you better get to work and get me over to the school. I promised Ms. Briton I'd be there to help out by 10:30."

"Then I guess we better get a move on."

"After school Loraine, Nomi, and I are taking the mini trio out for lunch, and then they're going to go play for a few hours at her house."

"I remember you mentioning something about that. As I recall there was a promise to bring me back some breadsticks."

"There was. They aren't all you can eat though," Rachel laughed.

"For your information I can control myself these days," said the taller woman with false indigents. "Plus, I've yet to find any quite as good as the ones at 'The Stix' so there will be no wheel barrow needed."

"Good to know," Rachel continued to giggle. "While the girls have their play date, Nomi and I are going ring shopping and then its home for me." Home, Santana loved to hear her girlfriend refer to it as home.

"She's really going to do it? I always saw Erin as the bend down on one knee type," the Latina remarked.

"Yep, she has a tendency to come off as the 'get things done' type. She usually is actually, but when it comes to her relationship with Nomi she tends to let her set the pace," she explained.

"Aw, I see." Santana knew all about that. She'd noticed that they were alike in a lot of ways, that being one of them.

"Anyway, Loraine is going to feed the girls dinner before she drops Jack and Paige off, so we won't be seeing Paigey until about six."

"She's going to come home all wired, huh?" Santana said with amusement.

"It could go either way. She may come back tuckered out," Rachel replied. "I'm prepared for either one. Nomi and I should be done by three. She already knows what she wants. She just wants me to confirm that she chose right."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Santana sat at her desk mentally patting herself on the back. She had finally resolved a massive mess with not one, but two of her clients. One owned a small chain of Indian restaurants and the other, two delis. She had managed to find just enough loopholes in the law and was able to obtain a settlement with the IRS involving payment of taxes. She saved both her clients a grip, which made her feel far less guilty for charging them her pricy fee. Either way they saved much more than they would have had they not sought out her services.

Hearing the phone ring she answered, "Williams, Taylor, and Dean. Santana Lopez speaking."

"Miss Lopez?"

"Yes Lydia?"

"Bruce Davis called and asked to postpone your meeting this afternoon. His daughter has appendicitis and has to go in for emergency surgery.

"That's fine. Go ahead and set up another time with him now if he'd like, or he can call back later to reschedule as well if that would be more accommodating," Santana said with empathy. Had it been a year earlier, she would have understood but she still would have been annoyed. Something about knowing what it was like to be so scared for a loved one that you were willing to drop everything to be there for them resonated with her now.

"Alright. I'll let him know."

"Oh, do I have anything else scheduled for the day?"

"No, nothing else. His meeting was going to take up a few hours of your time because of his specific issue."

"In that case, I think I'm going to go home for the day." Santana hung up the phone and smirked to herself. She was going to go home and surprise her girlfriend with some major romance. Before she got the chance to collect her things, she was summand to pick up her ringing cell phone. "Hey Erin," she said after seeing the caller ID and flipping her cell open.

"?" The woman screeched rapidly through the phone.

Santana huffed and took a deep breath before saying, "Okay, let's try that again, shall we? This time slow down."

Erin took a few seconds to compose herself. "I'm sorry. Normally I would call Ray about this but she's busy with Paige, and her little friends. It doesn't help that Nomi's with her either."

"Yeah whatever, just hurry up before I lose my patience."

"I've already seen your compassionate side so you can drop the ruthless attorney act," Erin shot back.

"Sorry, okay? So tell me what the problem is." She hadn't meant to snap at Erin. She was just so close to getting out of that office and now she was being held up. She did want to be there for her new friend though.

"What do I do if my girlfriend is cheating on me?

"What? Why would you even think that?" The lawyer asked taken aback.

"She's just being so secretive lately. She's been working more than normal but I don't see any extra cash in our account. She's always disappearing these days with really dumb explanations if any at all. She's always tired and we barely get to have sex anymore."

"That doesn't add up to cheating."

"Then tell me, what does it add up to?"

"It adds up to a woman who has a great partner and for some reason decided to freak out over nothing," the tanned woman rolled her eyes. "Trusting your woman has worked out for this long, so go with what works. The woman loves you and from what I hear, she has for years so shut up and don't fuck up a good thing."

"You're right. I'm just being paranoid," Eric replied.

"Now if you could just memorize that phrase for whenever I offer up one of my many nuggets of wisdom you could be set for life."

"Hardy har har, Lopez. Laugh it up."

"I am and plan to continue doing so," she said in jest. "So are we done? Or are you going to have a nervous breakdown?"

Erin deeply sucked in lungs full of breath, "I'm good. I just needed to hear that. Thanks."

"No problem," returned the Latina. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have something I need to do."

"Talk to you later, Lopez."

"Back at you, Crowley.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"To be five again and have all that energy," Loraine laughed as the women watched the girls play in the children's play area. They had just finished eating their pizza and the girls seemed to find the pool of colorful plastic balls far more appealing than the adults at the table.

Nomi snickered. "But then I'd have to be a teenager again at some point. I'd rather not go through that odd, 'how do I explain to my traditionalist parents and younger brother that I'm a lesbian?' experience again.

"It all turned out okay though, right?" Rachel said, trying to reassure her friend.

"My brother was supportive from the start. My parents, not so much but they eventually came around to accepting it. They still silently hope that I'll meet a nice Korean man and settle down with him but they seem to really like Erin," replied the auburn haired woman, more so to Loraine than Rachel.

"And now you're going to propose to her," Rachel smiled. "When she introduced us, I was worried she'd be all standoffish and pull away. You managed to riegn the woman in and still let her be herself, keep her life."

Nomi got the double meaning but didn't want to address it in front of Loraine. "She was a weird one to pin down back then. The first time we met she called me a pretentious fool who had no idea what being artistic was about." She laughed at the memory.

"Really?" The strawberry blonde said with surprise.

"I had a friend in a play that she was working on back when we were in college. I was going to Columbia and she was at Julliard with Ray. Anyway, I was waiting for my friend to meet up with me outside of the theater after rehearsal. Let's just say that if you're going to have a lover's quarrel with the play director, you may want to be more private about it. But she didn't see me then. We officially met a few weeks later after opening night, when my friend introduced us."

"And she just went off on you?" Loraine asked. Rachel stifled a laugh because she'd heard this story before.

"No. We all went out for drinks after and at some point she made a comment to my friend about a slip up she'd made in the show. I wasn't really the confrontational type but for some reason that woman just got under my skin and I couldn't help but mention some of her own slip ups on the stage. She was so pissed off." Nomi grinned wide as she continues. "That's when she went off on me, but I still had that wild card. I called her out on screwing the director."

"Wow, talk about an explosive beginning," replied Leanne's mother.

"She ended up at my apartment that night. Minus one three week period of stupidity on both our parts, we've been together ever since."

"How are you going to pop the big question?" Asked Rachel.

"Well, she's been dying for a puppy. I could do without one and I've told her as much. But it will make my lady happy so I think I'll go to the animal shelter and get one. I was thinking I could maybe put the wring box in a little drawstring pouch and attach it to the collar. So when she goes to play with it she sees it and opens it and all that stuff. Then onto one knee I go. And of course there will be a romantic dinner to follow."

Rachel's eyes glistened. "She's going to love that."

Loraine grumbled, "My husband's big proposal involved the sentence, 'We aren't getting any younger and you're the first one my mother can remotely stand. Let's just do this.' So romantic, Right?" She said sarcastically. "Maybe I should become a lesbian," she added dreamily. After a few seconds of contemplating what that would entail sexually, she scrunched her face and said, "Nah, I think I'll keep my romantically challenged oaf." The other woman giggled. "So when is this cutesy thing going to take place?"

"Next Tuesday. I'm going to have to wait until the ring gets engraved and Tuesday is perfect because she has no classes until the afternoon on Wednesday," Nomi said excitedly.

"Planning a little engagement sex are we?" Rachel joked.

Nomi felt a pang of extra giddiness. She was excited about her impending engagement, but she was really pleased to see that her friend was being so care free. She'd spent so long being scared and worried. It was nice to see her truly happy. Even when they had known each other pre-Jimmy, she always seemed to hold herself back. She still did at times, though now it wasn't nearly as frequent as it once had been. "Way more than a little. Do you know how many extra articles I had to sneak around and write to be able to afford that shiny new piece of jewelry? I had to branch out to little crappy papers and web journals all over the country. I can barely keep my eyes open half the time, which has screwed up our sex life royally. I'm getting marathon sex out of this." They all burst into hysterics at the diatribe.

"You're going to make Erin's mom very happy," Rachel said wistfully.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that you mean the whole getting married thing and not the bedroom activities thing," Nomi replied cockily.

Rachel playfully bumped her friend. "Aren't you the comedian?" She deadpanned. "I'm just saying she's been hinting at this forever hasn't she?

"Yep, at least her mother's okay with all of this. I wish her father would come around," answered Nomi.

"They haven't talked since she came out to him," Rachel clarified to Loraine. "He's missing out on so much just to be a bigot."

"Yeah, she says she's better off without him, but I can tell it still hurts," said Nomi.

"Same with Quinn," said the small brunette.

"Quinn's gay?" Asked Loraine. She'd met the blonde a few times through picking up the girls from school. "I thought she was married to a guy named James?"

"Oh no," Rachel countered. "Remember when she made that comment about getting pregnant in high school?"

"Yes."

"Her father kicked her out for it. He had really high expectations and he just disowned her like she was nothing. He put his pregnant sixteen-year-old daughter out and didn't care where she'd end up," Rachel had always found that unfathomable. Her dad's may not have always been there for her the way they should, but they never would have done that to her. She felt a wave of shame for not caring enough about that to at least back off of Finn at the time. "Her mother asked her back after she threw him out for committing adultery."

"Why on earth would she let him kick her out in the first place?"

Nomi was the one to answer. Quinn had told her the story as well. "She was raised to obey her husband. He was the breadwinner and she did what she thought she was supposed to. They worked through it though."

"That's good to know. God knows if Leanne came to me as a teenager telling me she was pregnant I would flip out, but I'd support her," Loraine said with conviction.

"Same here," said Rachel. "When Quinn married her husband her dad reached out to her. He told her he'd forgiven her for her sins. And then she proceeded to tell him where he could stick his forgiveness because the only one who could forgive her sins was God himself, and I quote, 'you hypocritical ass!'"

"I wish she was here so I could give her a high five," said the other mother.

"I did when she told me," Rachel admitted.

"So how's the other one, uh…. Brittany right?"

The subject was bitter sweet. The little brunette was so happy and excited for her friend, but the situation still brought up painful memories that she tried to hide. So she put on her best show face, which Nomi had come to decipher, and said, "I'm going to have a little nephew." Despite the sadness, she genuinely felt pride in the statement.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

After stopping by her friendly neighborhood grocery store, Santana sauntered through her front door. She placed her bags, briefcase, and purse on the dining room table and began to empty the bags of their contents. She pulled our tall white candles and a bottle of merlot, because sometimes being cliché isn't a bad thing, a roasted chicken, and a mixture of veggies for dinner, and for desert, raspberry sorbet. She'd also made a quick stop at a little florist shop and picked up a dozen sunflowers. The Latina placed the flowers in the center of the table and put the food away for later.

Once she was satisfied with her actions, she headed back to the bedroom she shared with Rachel to get herself in a more….desirable outfit, not that the smaller brunette didn't find her absolutely sexy in her business attire.

She hurriedly pushed open the bedroom door, motivated by the anticipation of surprising her girlfriend and immediately went to the drawer that contained her oversized shirts and Jerseys. The brunette singer had told her years ago that other than her being naked, the sight of the caramel colored woman in an oversized t-shirt and nothing else turned her on more than anything. Santana vowed not to invest in sexy lingerie after that….well at least not for Rachel's sake. She let out a small giggle at her thoughts but soon they were interrupted by strong arms gripping her from behind. Her first instinct was to struggle so that's just what she did until she was flipped around and given a better view of her captor.

"Santana Carman Lopez," a tall, redheaded, man with broad shoulders was standing in front of her leering at her. It didn't take her long to figure out who this was. His hair was different than it was in the photos she'd seen. She'd never met him in person. "I suggest you sit down on the bed and shut the hell up before this gets a whole lot uglier," he said while putting the rather large buck knife in his hand on display. Santana thought about saying something cunning but in the moment she knew she had to figure out how to get out of this relatively unscathed. "Well on the way to being the youngest partner at one of the most prestigious law firms in Chicago." He was reading out of a manila folder while still clutching the knife.

"Pre-law and law school at UCLA with nothing less than a 3.7; nailed the LSATs right out of the gate; two times to pass the Bar; former student of William McKinley High school of Lima Ohio, cheerleader and glee club; mighty impressive."

Santana's anger couldn't help but overtake her fears. "What, am I supposed to be scared that you have some file on me? I have one on you too," Santana spat. She'd gotten all the information she could on the prick months ago. " Jim Logan Howard; Master's in business from NYU; Born in Kingman Arizona; mother walked out on you at age eleven; father died of prostate cancer when you were nineteen; no other known living relatives; first class asshole."

"Now that just hurts. Do you know what I've gone through to be here right now?"

"You have some nerve showing your face around here! The only place you need to be is in prison," the woman seethed.

"Why? You don't even know me Miss Lopez."

"I know enough. You're a sick little boy in a man's body that has to beat up on women a third his size to feel strong. But that isn't being strong. It makes you a bigger coward if anything."

"What goes on between my wife and I is none of your concern," the man's cool demeanor was beginning to crack.

"What goes on between you and your ex-wife is most definitely my business. I could kill you for ever laying a hand on her. I just might."

"I love Rachel. I have since the first time I saw her on stage. Who wouldn't?" he said trying to even out his temper.

"So you showed her by hurting her? By killing her baby?"

"I never meant to hurt my boy!" he yelled. "I had to keep her in line. That one has a way of wondering."

"Oh, like you? You were the one screwing around not her. Even if she was, you had no right putting your hands on my Rachel you son of a bitch!"

"_Your _Rachel? I wasn't surprised when she went running to Erin. The bitch never gave me half a chance. However, I was a little surprised when she started shacking up hear with your merry band of misfits. So I did a little digging and low and behold, you and my daughter share a name. I guess the bonds of friendship can surpass high school," Jimmy said in a taunting tone.

"Right, we're her friends. We were taking care of her after you beat the shit out of her," Santana spat from her position on the bed.

Jimmy sneered at the woman. "If she would have just done what she was told we'd be happy somewhere far from here as a family."

"You really are loony toons, aren't you? You really believe that she was going to go anywhere with you? She finally got out of the horror show you put her through and you think she was going to go back to that without a fight?" Santana was absolutely shocked at the man's delusional state.

"She's my wife, and the mother of my child. Her place is with me. Things got out of hand. I had to remind her of her place. I had to leave my kid because what good would she have been without a mother to raise her?"

Santana's internal struggle was in overdrive. She was caught between her need to survive, sadness for Paige and Rachel for what they had been forced to endure, and pure hatred for the bastard in front of her. How could he act as if that night was just some simple misunderstanding? How is what he put her Rachel and Paige through a misunderstanding? She tried to hold her tongue but she couldn't. "So you're saying you were worthless after your mother walked away from you. Did she know what you were going to turn out like? Is that why she left you little Jimmy?"

Jimmy didn't let himself take the bait. He coolly took a step forward and calmly said, "My mother was just some whore that ran out on us to be with an ex-boyfriend. She wasn't of any importance. Rachel didn't know how to let go of the past either so I had to do what my father never had the balls to do. I kept her in her place. And now that that Noah Puckerman fellow is married off, I can relax a little bit more."

"What the hell does he have to do with this? You mean to tell me that you beat Rachel over some guy she hadn't even seen since high school?"

"He meant something to her. I saw the pictures of them. She even told me she was still in love with him. Well, she didn't use names but it wasn't hard to figure out. I know he came to her not too long ago. I guess he figured dealing with her was more trouble than she was worth because he went scampering back to his obese wife. And now I'm here to collect mine."

Santana gaped with disgust at Jimmy. She had no words that could accurately describe what she was feeling in that moment, so she went with facts over feelings. "She dated him for three days sophomore year. They were best friends in the end. That's it. _**They were**_ _**never in love**_." She raised her voice to emphasize the last sentence. "He was only here to help her feel safe after her bastard of a husband left her broken on the living room floor of her apartment." Santana and Nomi had cleared out the apartment and Rachel paid for the whole six month stay because she didn't feel right leaving the older woman she'd been renting from in a lurch, but she and Paige never stepped another foot in there.

"Aren't you being overly dramatic?"

"Me, I'm being overly dramatic? All she did was talk to someone and you put your hands on her in the worst way possible."

"She was mine to put my hands on."

Santana had had enough with the verbal sparring match. She stood to her feet, forgetting that the guy was crazy and armed. She looked up into his wild green eyes. "She was never in love with Puckerman." She repeated in a semi-sadistic tone. "She was in love with me." Santana had a glint in her eyes. "She is in love with me. Now that you ruined the best things that ever happened to you, I can keep the best people to have ever happened to me."

Jimmy stood stalk still in some sort of trance. The lawyer knew she was poking an already agitated bear with a stick. She figured she should feel guilty for rubbing the man's nose in what he'd lost and how she gained it, but she couldn't bring herself to muster up empathy in the slightest. "It's me she sleeps next to at night. I'm the one she finds comfort in, the one she holds and makes love to." The delight she had in telling the pathetic excuse for a man was unyielding. "So you see, you sent her running and I was there to find her."

The large man snapped out of his stoic demeanor. It looked as if years of wondering and questioning had finally clicked in his muddled mind. The Latin woman didn't think those eyes could get any more crazed, however, she was quickly proven wrong as the green eyes darkened and the cool façade turned manic. Santana's thoughts went to her little songbird. This was who Rachel had to contend with for all that time. This person scared the crap out of her without even touching her and her girl had been at the receiving end of his physical abuse on many occasions. "I love her. I could never hurt her or Paige the way you did. And now I have my chance." She knew mentally it was stupid to keep talking but it was like she needed him to know.

Before she could get any more words out she felt the grip around her neck, the buck knife seemingly forgotten. She fought with everything in her. She scratched and kicked to the best of her ability. "You're lying you little bitch! Just because her parents are fags doesn't make her a dyke. I got her pregnant twice. You're just some slut who wants what's mine!" He screamed as he manhandled the woman like a rag doll, suspending her slightly into the air. "Their mine you stupid bitch!" He'd managed to pin her up against the wall at this point. The grip around her neck coupled with all the struggle was making it more and more difficult to find each new breath. She kicked him hard between the legs, but he only lightly faltered. His grip didn't let up.

Her vision was getting blurry, though she still struggled. Thoughts of her friends, her family, Paige, and Rachel swirled through her head. _Her Paige and her Rachel. _They were going to have it all. She was going to give them everything. Within that thought, she felt herself hit the floor. Confused, she tried to steady her heart rate. "Fucking hell!" the man roared into the air. Santana heard a cracking noise alongside jingling. It sounded like….. loose keys, or loose change or,…..There it was again. "Remember what happened last time you got out of line," he hissed.

"I'm *Crack* Done *Crack* Letting *Crack* You *Crack* Terrorize *Crack* Me." As her vision began to clear she saw the small diminutive brunette throwing around something with all of her might. Finally she was able to see that the other woman was swinging a sack of sorts. At first she couldn't quite zero in on what it was but it looked like….. Was that? It was a blue king size pillowcase with something weighing it down at the bottom. Santana sprang into action. She quickly lunged at the bed to get to the buck knife. Rachel was still swinging with vigor. She was a little surprised at her diva's physical strength but she supposed the adrenalin of it all had kicked in.

Jimmy moved to grab his ex-wife's arm and the Latina cracked. Before she could think, she was violently plunging the blade into the man's back, causing him to release his hold on the smaller woman and fall to the floor on his side. Rachel began swinging again. It was like she was on auto pilot. "Never again," she repeated with her swings. Santana scurried to the phone by the bed and dialed 911 before moving back to the other two bodied.

"I have an intruder," she screamed into the phone. "It's life or death," she added and tossed the phone to the bed not bothering to hang it up. She knew they would trace the call. She didn't have time to talk to them any longer. "Rach, baby," she said soothingly yet loud. Rachel was still yelling 'Never again,' over and over again. She couldn't stop swinging at the man who'd fallen on the floor, who'd taken so much from her. If she hadn't been afraid for her girlfriend, she would have let her continue without interruption. "It's me baby. It's Santana."

"He hurt you San," the smaller woman belted. "I won't let him get away with that," she said while still pummeling the man. She had a clear shot of his head now and she was using it.

Jimmy was only trembling on the ground, barely moving and Santana couldn't have the police coming in to see Rachel beating what now appeared to be a helpless man with a pillowcase holding socks filled with quarters. She briefly wondered if Rachel had looked like that when he was ripping her apart that night. "Baby, the police are coming and they're going to take him away. He can't hurt anyone anymore. See look at me I'm okay."

Rachel stilled her motions to get a good look at her lover, who was closing the final distance between them. "Your neck."

"Nothing that won't get better," she cooed before turning to get a good kick in herself. Santana bent down and said icily, "If you ever come near my family, try to contact any of us again, I'll put you in the ground myself." He didn't speak. He only looked at her. She spit on him for added affect. She didn't give a shit about kicking the man while he was down. After what he put them all through, she had no sympathy what so ever and she would never apologize for it.

"I won't be a victim again," Rachel said looking down at the man. "I won't let you hurt us." Santana could see that her love needed this. She needed to look that ingrate in the eyes and tell him she was done with letting him hurt her, that she was going to fight back because that was who she was now, a fighter. Even the beating she'd given him was therapeutic in a way. She'd been able to show him just what he'd be up against if he ever came after them again. She was no longer the fifteen year old girl who would put up with anything to be loved; nor was she the twenty-one year old searching to reclaim the feeling of a love she'd lost. She wasn't the girl he wooed, and then tore down. She knew what it was like to love and be loved in return, without being broken mentally and physically. "You're always saving me." Rachel looked deeply into her Latina lover. "It's about time I learned to save myself and if I can save you in the process, it makes it all the better." Santana wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. They stared at him in silence as the sirens descended upon them.

TBC…


	10. Give Me Everything

**Thanks again for sticking with me and for the adds to faves and alerts. Thanks so much for the reviews, I am a junkie and you definitely gave me my fix. I wouldn't be opposed if you kept them coming. LOL!**

**I'm dedicating this one to Shaddowsong, who pointed something out to me that was fairly deep when I hadn't even picked up on it myself. I addressed it in this chapter because it seemed too important to ignore. **

**Chapter Summary: **Pretty much fluff. Family time and some much needed conversation.

Chapter Ten- Give Me Everything

They stayed in a hotel that night, as another home had become a crime scene. Rachel and Nomi had both seen Santana's car and assumed it was like any other day. Rachel had slipped in the door quietly and punched the security code, hoping to sneak up on her lover when she heard her girlfriend's low voice accompanied by the familiar ice of her ex-husband. The first thing she thought of was to grab a kitchen knife, however, she'd already bypassed the room and didn't want to back track. It was as she passed Paige's room that she got the idea to grab the pillowcase. By the time she got to their bedroom, she could hear the struggle and it made her frantic. He was yelling vile things now and when she saw him pin _her_ Santana up against the wall, hands wrapped around her neck, her feet not quite touching the floor; she swung and she swung hard. Every ounce of strength in her diminutive body was dedicated to swinging that pillowcase. She had no clue how long it went on for. She was sure if it hadn't been for her girlfriend, she would have continued her actions until her arms had fallen off.

When the police showed up they were the ones to call for an ambulance. Santana had claimed they were too shocked and scared to make the second 911 call once he was down. It was the truth, though a little part of both of them wanted to prolong Jimmy's suffering. As soon as the police arrived, Rachel took the time to call Loraine and tell her the basics of what had happened. She wanted Paige to stay with her until things could be sorted out. After being questioned, Santana made it a point to call her sorry excuse of a home security system provider and chew them out. With what she paid for their services, there was no way that scum should have been able to get in the house without setting off the silent alarm and immediately sending police aid. There were all kinds of threats spewing from the woman's lips and she meant each and every one.

The police pretty much said that it appeared to be a cut and dry case. An intruder with a history of abuse, who is wanted by the law and considerably larger than both women in question, had physically accosted the home owner. They merely did what they needed to survive. Santana had already drawn that conclusion but Rachel needed to hear it from a non-invested party. The small brunette was relieved to hear that they were probably off the hook for any violence done on their part, but the lawyer was not impressed. In her opinion, the cops were lucky that neither her or her girlfriend would have to be held legally responsible for anything because if they had done their job right from the beginning, Jimmy would have been caught before he ever stepped foot in that house.

After packing up a few things, Rachel managed to calm the woman down enough to go get the bruises on her neck checked out. Her girlfriend nearly protested, but gave in before she could even find the fight. Thankfully there had been no real damage and her throat was spared any major trauma. Santana was the one who called Erin to fill her in on what had happened, but had to convince her that there was nothing she could do at the moment, and that they could all meet up the next day for dinner. At the time she just wanted to go get Paige and be with her girls. She wanted to hug the little girl and snuggle with her lover. She wanted to watch them inhale and exhale. She wanted to hear their voices, and see their faces full of expression. No, she needed to. She needed to make sure that they were still there, that he hadn't taken them away from her; not physically or emotionally. She needed to know that they were safe and with her and she did just that. By the time they picked up the little girl, it had been well past her bedtime and she'd only woken up enough to question where she was. Rachel told her that they were having a sleepover and would talk about it in the morning. Normally the inquisitive little girl would have pressed for more because as much as she could be like Santana, she still had a few personality traits from her mother. However, the child was simply too tired to care enough for all of that. The mother and the Lawyer watched Paige sleep for a good hour before retiring to bed themselves.

Santana let out a little chuckle. "What, may I ask, is so amusing?" Rachel asked as she turned off the lamp on the night stand from her side of the bed.

"She's such a tiny person in the big queen sized bed. She looks like she could be swallowed whole in that thing."

Her partner joined in the quiet laughter. "I suppose she does." After a few seconds she gave way to a thoughtful sigh.

"Care to share with the rest of the class?" Asked Santana.

"How am I going to tell her about all of this?" Rachel began in a whisper. "How am I going to explain that her father, who I promised to keep her safe from, came back and tried to finish what he started? That he hurt you?"

"She doesn't need to know all the details, Rach," the dark haired beauty whispered back.

"I need to be as honest with her as I can. She's going to want to know what happened to your neck."

"Thankfully she didn't witness anything this time."

Rachel curled her body further into her girlfriend before whispering slightly louder. "I promised her that he wasn't going to hurt us again."

"Babe," Santana's voice was one of all seriousness. "He didn't. You protected yourself and me from that asshole. Paige was safe away from it all. Yeah it was pure luck that she was, but even if she had been, you would have protected her. You took back your power, Rach. You showed him that even he couldn't ruin you. Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?"

"I lost it there for a while," the Jewish woman said, not self-deprecatingly, factually.

Santana put her head so that the two were forehead to forehead. "You found yourself. Not just from what he did to you. In high school, you always took everything and walked away. I admire your ability to forgive and turn the other cheek, but babe; It's okay to fight back."

"You're the one who stabbed him," Rachel deflected. "I was never good at fighting."

"You pretty much had it under control, I just couldn't watch him try to man-handle you and not do anything," the other woman assured. "As far as you not being a fighter, that's just not true," Santana quickly denied. "You fought for my friendship god knows that was damn near as bloody as the Trojan War." They both chuckled.

"You definitely made it tough on me for a while."

"Who knew that you'd be the one person to actually stick it out, even when I was being a total bitch to you?"

"I knew there was more to you than that."

"You fought for Kurt during the Kerofsky bullying by trying to rally all the football glee guys together. He wouldn't have gotten through that without the support. He would have transferred to a new school otherwise." Santana brushed some of Rachel's hair aside in the dark. "Remember when Finn called me a slutbag the day after he found out about us? You tore him a new one. You even called him an asshat. And then there was that time at that mall in Columbus when that jerkoff was rude to Britt. I wanted to jump your bones so bad after I watched you kick him in his family Jewels. That was the day I fell completely in love with you. Seeing how fiercely you fight for the people you care about, it shifted something that was already there to just the right spot." She kissed Rachel on the cheek. "You fight for everyone else. You are a fighter. It's okay that you fought for yourself too."

"I love you," Rachel chirped. "Thank you."

"I'll always be here to remind you of your worth. You should never feel like you aren't worth all the stars in the universe. I love you."

Silence took over the room for a few minutes before the words "It's just that…..Never mind," were uttered.

"It's just that what?"

"He was in our house. If it had been any other day she would have been there and now…..I just don't know."

"Do you want to stay somewhere else? We can find another place."

Rachel thought about what the other woman was proposing. She was willing to give up the first home she'd ever purchased so that she would feel comfortable after what he'd done there. She felt her heart swell, though it was quickly replaced with fury. "No!" She nearly said it loud enough to wake the girl in the adjacent bed. Santana had already given up so much, done so much for her and Paige. She wasn't going to let that man ruin anything else. "I won't be driven out of yet another home because of him. He can't hurt us anymore. He has no power here or anywhere else." She said it almost as if it was a mantra she'd already repeated daily. "That's your home and our home is with you, San."

"It goes both ways," The lawyer said with a grin on her lips. "My home is with you."

"Then our home can be in that house. But how about we keep the whole stabbing thing away from her for now?"

"Okay." She loved her little makeshift family. She understood that things probably wouldn't have progressed as fast had the circumstances been different. Their cohabitation had more to do with conveyance than readiness as a couple, however, the idea of having to turn back seemed far too painful to process. She liked that her girls saw the house she'd bought as a home because when she'd purchased it it had been just that, a house. It didn't become a home until they were there. It was in that moment that she thought, if her fifteen-year-old self could see her now, she would probably run screaming for the hills. Either that or try to beat some sense back into her older self. Santana couldn't help but smirk. She may not be the scrapper she used to be, but she could totally take teen Santana in a fight.

Paige sat impatiently as she waited for breakfast to come, while her mother did whatever it was that she did in the bathroom in the mornings. "Tana, how come we're here? Don't I have to go to school?"

"We'll explain when mommy gets out here," the woman smiled at the little girl sitting across from her at the little table in the room.

"What happened to your neck? It looks like Mommy's skin used to look."

Thankfully a knock at the door served as a distraction. A fairly low pitched, "Room service," boomed through the door.

"Great," Santana beamed. "Food's here." She sprang to her feet and looked through the peephole for good measure, before opening the door. "Thank you my good man," she smiled wide, making a show of acting extra happy in the moment. She was trying her best not to worry the five-year-old.

"You are quite welcome," the man returned the smile.

Santana made sure to tip him well before sending him on his way. She quickly busied herself by removing the covers to the plates and transferring the food from the cart onto the table. "For you, "she said in a high pitched voice as she placed a plate with two slices of French toast topped with sliced Banana on top, along with a glass of milk in front of the child. "For Mommy." Then she placed a bowl of oatmeal topped with raisons and a glass of cranberry juice where Rachel was to sit. "And for me." Lastly, she placed a plate three pancakes high alongside a small cup of mixed fruit and a glass of orange juice in front of her spot at the table.

Her antics had Paige laughing hysterically by now. "You're silly Tana."

"Me?" Silly? I'm being quite serious. Breakfast is no laughing matter. It's the most important meal of the day," she said with foe sternness, now distributing the silverware.

Paige continued to laugh. The bathroom door opened revealing their third party, sporting a pink sweat suit. "Did I hear breakfast? Good I'm starving," she said in false eagerness. "And you young lady," she giggled looking at her daughter. "Tana is quite right. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day so eat up miss missy miss." Rachel placed the syrup and butter that still remained on the cart, in front of her daughter.

"You're both silly," Paige said, then took a bite of banana.

"I'll cut those up for you," Santana offered.

"Thank you," the girl replied, mouth still full. As much as she enjoyed these silly moments, the girl knew that the grownups weren't being totally sincere. The mere fact that her mother hadn't reprimanded her for talking with her mouth full was a dead giveaway that something wasn't quite right. They were trying to distract her but she wasn't going to be deterred. "Mommy, why are we here? And why am I not going to school and what happened to Tana's neck? The questions were rapid fire. Like a super speedy interrogation. Yep, there was surely some Rachel Berry in that personality.

"Okay, honey, slow down," her mother said, while her Tana finished cutting the last piece of French toast. "We have to talk about something."

"Okay," Paige replied as if to say 'go on'.

Her mother inhaled deep. "Do you remember when I told you that your dad was sick and when he was found he'd have to go to jail and get help? How he did bad things and had to be punished?" Paige nodded. "Well yesterday while you were out, he came to the house."

"He hurt Tana," the child said knowingly.

"He did, sweetie."

"But he didn't hurt me that bad. Your mommy protected me," Santana desperately wanted to put a positive spin on all of this for the little girl.

"Well, in a way we all did." Rachel stated. Santana arched her brow and Paige knitted hers together. "I used some of your quarters to stop him." She wasn't sure if telling her daughter that she had been violent was the smart thing to do, but she wanted her to know that she could keep her safe. She also thought that maybe if the girl knew she'd helped in some way, she'd take it a little better. "So considering they were yours and Tana, Uncle Puck, and your aunties all chipped in; you all helped stop him from hurting Tana even more. We all did it together. If I didn't have all of you, I couldn't have stopped him and the police wouldn't have come and taken him away." She was speaking to Santana, as much as she was her daughter, hoping that she understood what she was saying. They'd all given her hope and strength and without it she'd still be that scared girl who considered a day when she was only verbally assaulted a good one.

The other two both smiled at her; however, Paige's smile soon faltered. "He's going to be more mad."

"The police took him away, baby," said Rachel to her little girl.

"He's going to jail for a very long time," added Santana before taking a sip of her juice.

"Now that being said," the brunette vocalist said chirpily, "I think it's about time we start planning out Thanksgiving." Rachel was never used to a big to do over the holiday. As a child it had been just her and her fathers, as they were both estranged from their families. They had used the holiday as more of a day to celebrate their anniversary because it was around the time her dad Hiram asked her daddy Leroy to commit. They had visited once when she and Jimmy were married but it wasn't anything big. Throughout her marriage Thanksgiving was pretty much a readymade meal from a local restaurant, or on one occasion, an invite to join Jimmy's boss and his family for the afternoon. In truth, this had been the first time in a really long time that she wanted to express just how thankful she was.

"I uh, spoke to my mom last week," said Santana in her tentative voice. Her parents had been informed of the former diva's reentry into their daughter's life, though they hadn't been informed as to all the drama surrounding it. They knew that Rachel had gotten divorced, and that she had a little girl, but that was about it. Her parents were pretty happy about the revelation. They'd always adored her but they were still quite curious. Both parents Lopez had spoken to Rachel on the phone, but they hadn't been able to drag much out of her, which they both recognized was out of character for the girl they'd once known.

"And," Rachel prompted after the silence that followed had become overwhelming.

"She and my dad want to come here since they'll be in Florida with my aunt and uncle for Christmas this year." Santana had spent the last three Thanksgivings on her own, citing she was celebrating with friends. Going back to Lima was always such a chore to her so she made a promise to herself that Christmas was going to have to suffice on her time allotted in that town.

"It would be really nice to see them," Rachel said, wide eyed.

Santana was relieved. She wasn't quite sure on how her lover would react. It wasn't because Rachel didn't like her parents, quite the contrary actually. It was just that the other woman had a hard time going into details about her life and Santana's parents, more specifically her mother, were not the least bit fretful of asking anything that came to mind. Well, barring their sex life that is.

"Yes. It would be quite nice. As you know my fathers will be on a cruise and I wouldn't mind having a parental figure or two at the dinner table." And there was the Rachel of old trying to peak out again. It was a splendid moment.

"I'll tell her to book a flight," Santana chuckled. "I'd feel guilty only giving her three weeks' notice if I wasn't 99.9% sure she did that weeks ago."

"I'll make sure Erin and Nomi can still make it. Hopefully Nomi won't back out. She really has nothing to feel bad about."

"We've all told her that. Now she just has to tell herself that," was the response.

Nomi felt guilty for not walking her friend to the door after dropping her off. They'd both seen the Latina's car and assumed that it would be just fine, like it had been for months now. She didn't voice her guilt but they all saw it never the less. Despite her two close friends and her girlfriend telling her otherwise, she couldn't help but feel like she'd done something wrong.

"Can we have pumpkin Pie on Thanksgiving?" Paige decided to make her presence known once again.

"It wouldn't be a proper Thanksgiving without it," Santana answered. She and Rachel alike, wanted to give Paige a nice holiday. It had been so long since the girl was able to fully participate in one. Halloween had recently passed and because of their paranoia, the little girl only got to trick-or-treat around their block and it had still been light out. She ended up passing out candy for the rest of the night clad in her Captain Hook costume. Santana did buy extra candy for the child though, so it hadn't been a complete waist for her.

"With whipped cream?"

"Well duh," said the Latin woman with a cheeky grin. "Is there any other way? My mom makes the best pumpkin pie."

"True story," Rachel confirmed, remembering the vegan friendly pie Mrs. Lopez made for her and her fathers during their senior year.

While Santana went to work, Rachel ended up taking Paige to an emergency therapy session as a preemptive strike and decided that she should do so as well.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

_**One week later….**_

The little family had stayed in the hotel for two days before heading back to the house. Rachel was adamant that they should get back to their normal routine. She'd been without one for months between moving to Chicago and going to stay with Santana. She simply needed the normalcy she'd regained. The lawyer knew this. Rachel had a hard time with interruptions to a set schedule as a teen, though she'd lightened up a bit around junior year. It was a safety net of sorts, but being with Santana then made her waver. Santana could be a methodical planner when needed, though in general she played things by ear. Santana had been the only person to get the small singer to be truly spontaneous because with her she didn't feel the need to control every little thing. But now, after the ordeal they'd been through, routine sounded pretty good to both women. There was Paige to think about, as well as the attempt to move on while harboring as little fear as possible.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

When Santana was in Attorney mode she could get pretty much anything she needed done. If she really wanted information she either knew where to find it, or who to go to that would. She knew what favors to call in, when to bluff, and all the other tricks she'd acquired over the years. Because she did have ethics and morals she'd never used her super powers outside of a work setting, however, Jimmy Howard had made it onto her radar the night she'd been summand to the hospital, only to find out what he'd done to her girls in one of the worst possible ways. Now, after the events of a couple of days earlier, she needed to stay on top of all things Jimmy related until he was locked away. Even then she'd keep her ear to the ground just in case.

She sat at her desk and read through the newly refurbished file she had compiled on the so-called man. She had her ethics but she was willing to compromise them in this case. She read allowed to herself as if it would all sink in faster that way. Jimmy was still hospitalized, but had been indicted for a slew of charges ranging from breaking an entering, to physical assault, to attempted kidnapping and murder. Thankfully none of them had to show up for the hearing because there were enough pictures and statements to prove the legitimacy of the charges, though they would have to appear in court later on down the road. Plus there were Jimmy's own words. He may have gone silent after Rachel took the pillowcase full of quarters to his head, but he was quick to run his mouth about his actions to anyone else that would listen.

The Latina was hoping that the man wasn't trying to set himself up for an insanity plea. She had no doubt that he was crazy, just not in the clinical sense. As much as she hated to admit it, he was a very smart man that just happened to have a very warped sense of entitlement. He believed that he could get whatever he wanted if he could manipulate the situation just right. If Rachel hadn't told her about his reaction to their son's death, she may have pegged him for a narcosis.

The man had feelings and could sense the feelings of others. He even cared on some level. He just cared about himself more. According to both Rachel and Paige, the man dotted on his daughter and never laid a hand on her. He scared her sometimes when she'd beg him not to yell at her mother, and then when she saw her mom hurt. He'd yell at her to get rid of her when he was "dealing" with Rachel, though that was the extent of it. He may not have felt the need to keep her around without Rachel there, but he did express love for the girl in the past. So Santana knew the guy knew exactly what he was doing and maintained all of his mental faculties, not that she had a degree to attest to that.

As she read on, she came across a piece of information she just didn't want to believe. It wasn't that she cared about his overall physical condition, but rather the affect it would have on her girlfriend and her daughter. The knife, which had been confirmed to be the same knife he'd used on Rachel, had done some damage to the spine. Jimmy had yet to move his legs as a result. Considering her friendship with Artie, the woman felt like she should be more sensitive to the subject, yet she couldn't be bothered with what it meant for him. She just didn't want Rachel freaking out. Yes, she had been the one to do it, however, the vocal teacher had a way of taking on guilt for things she shouldn't.

Santana dropped the file to her desk and rubbed her temples with her index and middle fingers. She took a deep breath and tried to figure out the best way to tell her lover that her ex had no feeling in his legs. She was thankful that Erin and Nomi were coming over that evening for one of their regular dinners. Hopefully they could help her out with putting Rachel at ease. She would tell her beforehand of course, but they could confirm what would be Santana's avid declarations as to the fact that it was not at all Rachel's fault.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

To say that Santana was surprised by her girlfriend's reaction to the news of her ex's condition would be an understatement. As expected Rachel's face took on a look of panic, though it only lasted briefly. After a few seconds her body visibly relaxed and she shrugged, yes shrugged.

"That sounds terribly unfortunate for him," she said. "I imagine it will take a lot of adjustment for him. I suppose he will have even more challenges as he gets acquainted with the Illinois state incarceration system." And that was that. She didn't have some big dramatic moment. She didn't cry. Nothing.

Santana made a note to herself to keep an eye out anyway. Rachel had been schooled on pretending a very long time ago. It could get frustrating at times, not always knowing if she was genuinely okay or not. Looking back on the time they'd been united, there had been clues and little comments; Paige's demeanor going from a rambunctious little girl to a sullen child at a comment about violence when they had first met, for instance. Nothing overly obvious; Rachel didn't flinch at quick movements or any of the usual stuff you see on Lifetime movies, but hindsight was definitely 20/20.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"I'm engaged!" Erin bellowed as she shuffled through the front door, arm already stretched out displaying the ring on her finger. The ring was 14K white gold with ribbons that bypassed the sparkling 1 ct. t.w. diamond arrangement displayed atop. A triple set of round diamonds went up the sides of the 3/4 ct. center diamond. Erin wasn't usually the flashy type, but as much as she liked to be blasé about most things that woman gushed over, she really was a girly girl at heart. Nomi had been the first woman to ever bring that side out of her. She loved doing the wooing most of the time, however, when she was on the receiving end of the Korean woman's gestures she would turn into a giddy fifteen-year-old girl.

"Wow," Santana smirked, inspecting the piece of jewelry. "Prime piece of bling you've got there."

"Isn't it beautiful?" The taller woman beamed in awe.

Seeing as their partners were off into their own little conversation, Santana took the opportunity to say, "So I guess you know there are no more reasons to be suspicious?" just loud enough for Erin to hear.

The piano instructor had the right mind to look at least a little ashamed. "I, uh…well…I made up for ever doubting her."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Right," she replied sardonically.

"Like all night and most of the morning. I'm surprised either of us can even walk."

"It doesn't count if you benefited from it too," the attorney snorted.

"Trust me on this. She holds no resentment." Erin's Cheshire cat like grin sent Santana into retreat.

"Alright I give." She said holding her hands up.

Paige was eating over at Jack's house so they'd have to wait a little longer to tell her the news. They all sat at the dining room table chattering away about wedding ideas, well Nomi and Rachel were, when Erin spoke over them all. "Baby, tell them what's inscribed on the inside. I'm not taking it of right now." '_Or ever'_ she thought like some lovesick kid.

Nomi giggled. "Pretentious Much."

Santana furrowed her brow, while the other's laughed. "She just wants to you to tell us what you had put on the ring, goodness. That was uncalled for don't you think?"

"Babe," Rachel snickered even louder.

"What is so funny about her insulting her fiancé over something like that?"

"Remember the story of how they met? What Eric said to Nomi?"

Understanding and a little embarrassment (only a little, because Santana Lopez did not do embarrassment) crossed the woman's face. "Oh yeah," she smiled lightly. "God you two are so weird."

"Hey it was where we started," Nomi blustered.

"Yeah, yeah," Santana feigned indifference. "So did everything go as planned?"

"Well not quite," Nomi chuckled.

"Couldn't find the right puppy?" Rachel questioned.

"I found a little Chihuahua, Papillion mix."

"He's adorable," chirped Erin.

"Yeah, except for the little drawstring bag I tied to his new collar was longer than anticipated and he ended up chewing on the bag and the box inside of it got chewed on right along with it."

"But the ring was okay," Erin returned.

"Good thing or that little mutt would have been put out to pasture," Nomi tried to keep up an annoyed demeanor.

"Don't say things like that about Bugsy," Erin chided, already having fallen in love with the animal.

"Wouldn't that be for a rabbit?" Asked Santana.

"Not at Casa de Crowley-Kae," Erin replied indignantly.

"That's what she wanted to name him so that's what my baby got. You'd do the same for Ray if she asked."

Rachel smiled shyly. So did her girlfriend. "My woman wouldn't pick such a goofy name," she defended jokingly.

"Yeah because Elphaba or Galinda would have been much better," Erin foe groaned.

"Of course they would have," Rachel spoke up. "I resent that you would think anything less of the wonderful 'Wicked' duo."

"I was just joking Ray." Erin loved riling Rachel up about musicals because it was a rarity that she'd get so passionate about them anymore. Lately she'd been reclaiming some of her endearment to them.

"Good to know," Rachel huffed. "Now let's talk about Thanksgiving. Nomi, the potatoes are all yours. Erin, salad duty."

"So bossy," the tall woman smarted.

"If I left you to your own devices there would be mayhem."

"A girl sets fire to her kitchen a couple of times and people act like she can't be trusted."

TBC…


	11. Meet Again

**Chapter summary:** The Lopez parents come to town.

Chapter Eleven-Meet Again

Rachel inspected her daughter for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. The girl's shoulder length chestnut hair had been neatly combed and a pink hair clip placed politely on the upper right side of her head. The child was wearing a pink baby-doll dress that Quinn had bought her during her stay with them. "Maybe we should try the blue dress?"

"Mommy I don't want to try any more dresses on," her little girl whined in frustration. This had been the forth dress she'd been forced to try on and her mother was on her sixth outfit. It was all getting a bit tiring.

"Just one more, baby," Rachel cooed at her daughter as she flung the blouse she'd just tried on off her body and tossed it on the bed.

"Babe," Santana's voice filtered through the cell phone on speaker, "She looked adorable and so did you. My parents already love you so, there is no reason to freak out about first impressions."

"Tana's right," the small brunette smiled at Paige adoringly. "You look gorgeous. Go on and play for a while, just don't do anything to get dirty."

"Okay," the girl beamed gratefully before exiting the bedroom.

Santana's laughter could be heard through the phone. "Now maybe her mother can relax?"

"I just want everything to be perfect. I haven't seen them in over ten and a half years. I want to show them that I'm good enough," Rachel said mildly frantic.

"They love you Rach. They always have."

"They loved teenager Rachel."

"And they'll love adult Rachel," came the reply. "Almost as much as I do."

"I love you too, San," replied the Jewish woman. She eye's the dark purple button-up she'd tossed and snatched it back up. "I always did look good in this color," she smirked.

"I gotta go baby, I see them."

"See you soon."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"Hey, Mom, Dad!"

"There's my girl," a five foot nine, mildly heavy-set Porte Rican man with a head full of white bellowed; his arms wide open for his daughter to fill. "Get a look at our big time lawyer daughter, Al."

Mrs. Lopez looked to the younger woman with pride to rival all mothers and raised her right hand to lightly stroke her cheek. "She sure is a sight." Alice Lopez had a mocha complexion and pretty dark brown curls sprinkled with greys here and there, which at times she kept flat ironed, though not today. Her father was German, while her mother had been African-American. Surprisingly to many, it had been her that was fluent in Spanish and not her husband. Santana's father was third generation America. In a misguided attempt to Americanize his children, his great grandfather forbade his American born children to speak Spanish. Though many of their descendants would go on to learn the language anyway, Santana's father would only learn bits and pieces.

Alice had grown up in Spanish Harlem. She'd practically lived part time with her best friend's family, who were Mexican-American and they frequently spoke their native tongue. Her father had come to the country with no family. Her mother had a huge family, though they didn't exactly approve of her relationship with the man, so they didn't have a whole lot of contact once they'd married.

Alice and Esteban had met when he was in his first year of medical school at Cornell University and she was in her sophomore year at Queens College. Like many college relationship, it all started at a party that neither of them had planned on attending in the first place. They'd both been dragged there by friends that thought they needed to relax and have fun. Esteban knew he wanted her from the start. Though she had been reluctant, he eventually wore the woman down enough to get a ring on her finger by his first year of residency. With a little coaxing he had been able to convince her to leave New York and move back to his home town with him while completing his residency at Lima General. They never left.

"I've missed you guys," Santana admitted.

"Well if you'd come to see us more often you wouldn't miss us so much," her mother playfully scolded.

The younger woman laughed. "It's not you I'm avoiding. It's the town I could go without seeing."

"Well, yes. When you focus on the bad stuff you don't allow yourself to see all the good stuff, honey. A lot of wonderful things have happened in Lima, whether you want to admit it or not."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go get your luggage so we can get back to my place already." Santana rolled her eyes but, lovingly so.

The car ride back to Santana's had been a regular gabfest. Her mother informed her on the entire goings on back in Lima. She talked about things as trivial as the new Kinko's in town and went on to the more interesting details. She discussed how Dave Karofsky came back to town with his boyfriend so that they could take care of his ailing father. There was talk about how Jacob Ben Israel had been sued for sexual harassment in the work place (Really, who didn't see that coming?). There were even comments made about Sue Sylvester having a nervous breakdown after a loss at nationals the previous year. All in all Lima was still very much Lima.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"Rach, tiny tot, we're here," The Latina sing-songed loudly as she pushed through the front door. She had her one of her mother's bags and used her free hand to signal to her parents to follow behind her to guestroom.

Rachel quickly appeared from the kitchen, Paige at her side. She motioned to grab hold of the bag on Alice's arm, but the older woman wasn't having it. She dropped the bag to the floor before the smaller woman could grasp it and hastily wrapped her arms around her. "I've missed you my sweet girl," she whispered into Rachel's ear.

"I've missed you too," she replied, before correcting herself. "Both of you." She looked to her girlfriend's father. When they had untangled their bodies she darted to the man whom was patiently waiting on his own proper greeting.

"Look at you all grown up," the man smiled, as he parroted his wife's actions.

"Older but no taller I'm afraid," Rachel giggled.

"I like you pint sized." Esteban looked over to Paige. "It looks like you have some competition though."

Rachel grinned and quickly went into introductions. "Dr. and Mrs. Lopez, this is Paige, my daughter."

"Since when are we so formal?" The elder woman in the room spoke with a scoff. "I'm Alice and he's Esteban, the way it always has been." She winked at her daughter's girlfriend and then approached Paige. "Hi there. Santana has told me loads about you."

Paige smiled wide at that. "Hi," she said excitedly. "You're Tana's mommy and daddy."

"Yes we are. And you're Rachel's little girl," Alice replied. "You're pretty just like her."

"Tana's pretty like you."

The other adults snickered at the back and forth between the two. "Oh, you and me are going to be real good friends," said Alice. "Es, come say hello to this lovely young lady."

Esteban walked over to the little girl, who was sizing him up with her eyes. It was something that she'd been doing with all men that got close to her since living in Chicago. Santana recognized the little girl's actions from the day she met Puck. "Hi," the little girl finally spoke and stuck out her hand. The man knew there was something wrong there, but he could tell the child was making an effort. He shook the proffered hand.

"Hi. I'm glad to meet you."

"Why don't we get you guys settled and then we can all chat it up." Santana was already heading the direction of the guestroom.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The afternoon was full of chit chat. Alice repeated her earlier Lima stories to the vocal teacher with just as much enthusiasm and Rachel expressed the same emotion as she listened on. Paige sat on Santana's lap on the couch, who sat next to Rachel, who was next to her girlfriend's mother while her father sat on the adjacent leather recliner.

Paige talked about school and her friends as if nobody else in the word had ever gone through kindergarten. Alice seemed enamored with the little girl's excitement, especially when she mentioned that Tana and her Aunts Erin and Nomi had gone with her a few weeks prior, during a week when the youngsters were learning about different jobs. "Josh said they sounded dumb, but he was just being stupid 'cause I had three people and everyone liked them more than his cousin. He's a dog walker."

"Paige, sweetie, that isn't nice and being a dog walker is a very nice job," Rachel reprimanded.

"Yes it is," the older Lopez woman confirmed. "In a big city especially."

"Sorry," the child muttered in annoyance.

"There was a doctor there too," added Santana. "She was pretty cool."

Paige's mood brightened considerably. "She's Jack's god mom. She's the kind that fixes hearts! But not like when your heart hurts 'cause your sad. She fixes them when they hurt like they're gonna stop."

"A cardiologist?" Esteban chuckled.

"Yeah, that kind," Paige said now giggling.

"My dad's a doctor too," Santana said proudly, realizing that she'd never talked to Paige about her father's career. Rachel had mentioned it in their introductions but Santana was pretty sure Paige hadn't caught it.

"Really?" Paige beamed up at the man from her seat on her Tana's lap. "Are you the kind that fixes hearts too, or the kind that fixed Mommy?"

The man slightly furrowed his brow, but the warning look in his daughter's eyes along with the slightly panicked one in the girl's mother's drove him from asking any question about what the girl was referring to. "I help fix thyroids," he answered.

"What's that?"

"Well it's a gland in your neck," he pointed to its location on him. "It controls how energy is used and other stuff is used in our bodies. Sometimes it goes wacky and a doctor has to try to fix the problem."

"What do they call the kind of doctor you are then?" Paige was now enamored with the man. She scooted off of Santana's lap and approached the man with mild caution, then stopped just before she made physical contact, waiting for an answer.

"They call me an endocrinologist," Said Dr. Lopez.

"Do you know Dr. Morgan?"

"I don't think I do," he said shaking his head.

"I wish Jack didn't go to her grandma's house for Thanksgiving. Then she could bring her here to say hi."

Now the man just looked confused. "Jack's name is actually Jacqueline," Rachel clarified. "Her, Paige, and Leann make up the mini trio." She and Santana giggled.

"She likes to be called Jack because it sounds 'cooler' that way." Santana actually used air quotes.

"I see," he smiled.

"How did the name mini trio come to be?" Asked Alice, looking at the little girl who merely shrugged. She didn't quite get it herself.

Santana grunted and Rachel laughed out loud. "Brittany and Quinn said the girls reminded them of themselves and Santana growing up. Right down to the double blonde, single brunette aspect, only Page tends to be the ring leader in the middle." Her parents joined in the laughter.

"Santana refused to let them be called the Unholy Trinity part two."

"They are nowhere near as bad as we were," the lawyer defended. "And if tiny tot needed to put someone in their place, she wouldn't need backup." As much as Santana loved her oldest friends, she didn't love their childhood dynamic in social situations." Quinn was seen as the boss and the one with the brains, while Santana was labeled as the hottie with muscle and enough venom to kill. Brittany was seen as a dimwitted blonde that blindly followed the other two. Yes they played up to their roles, but there was so much more to each of them.

Quinn was trying to live up to impossible expectations, while Brittany felt like things would just be easier if she let people believe she was dumb. There was a fear of trying hard but still failing that kept her from thriving in school. She wasn't book smart, though she was people smart.

Santana was just plain scared to get too close to anyone. She had spent the better part of elementary school being bullied for no good reason other than she was the Hispanic girl who hung out with the blonde girl who didn't seem to be all there and danced all over the place at the most random of times. Brittany had originally gotten the brunt of the taunts. By the time the summer before sixth grade came around, Santana had gotten enrolled in a kick boxing class, much to her father's chagrin. Her mother wanted her to find an outlet because her sweet, happy child had become so angry.

When school let back in she put those classes to use and adopted her false ghetto façade. The other kids quickly learned that she and Brittany were off limits. The next year when they met Quinn, they found themselves migrating toward each other and became an unspoken alliance, quickly rising to the top of the social ladder. She'd refused to go back, so being a Cheerio would be a must for all three of them. She'd also began 'never saying no' and encouraged the tall dancer to follow suit. Unfortunately the alliance was constantly threatened with resentment and competition between her and Quinn. Plus her need to keep Brittany and herself from being treated badly nearly ruined any relationship she could have had with the girl. By forcing her feelings aside, she lost her best friend as a lover and nearly lost her as a friend all together when she was rejected and subsequently shut her out.

Besides her parents and Brittany, she believed that people could turn on you in a heartbeat. She'd been proven right on many occasions, even with Quinn. She didn't want that for Paige. She wanted her to be able to be happy with who she was. She didn't want her tiny tot to feel the need to hide behind false bravado, status, and labels the way she, and even Rachel had. Those things had made them miserable and the little girl deserved so much better than that.

"Tana said I should tickle mean people instead of hurting them 'cause then nobody gets hurt."

"That's good advice," chuckled Dr. Lopez.

"Well yeah," Santana said sarcastically. "Your daughter is awesome."

"She really is," Rachel leaned looked at her adoringly.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Paige had gone to bed and Rachel and Santana had finally managed to clear away all of the mess from dinner. Most of that conversation consisted of Thanksgiving preparation for the coming Thursday. There was also conversation about how Rachel couldn't wait for the couple to meet Nomi and Erin. Both Rachel and Santana had expressed their disappointment that they wouldn't be able to spend the holiday with Noah, Brittany, or Quinn, who were all Lima bound to be with their families.

She didn't mention however, that due to the extended vacation they took to be with her, Rachel understood the blondes needed to be with their spouses and families. She also figured that Noah was probably still trying to make up for his court house wedding where his mother was concerned. Luckily the woman loved Lauren, though it did mean she blamed him for everything, but that was nothing new. They all had been informed about recent events and felt much more comfortable about their holiday plans because of it. They did want to come and at least look the man in the eye, the one that had caused so much pain, but Rachel assured them that it wasn't worth the trip. It wouldn't change anything.

"So Rachel," Alice asked sweetly, "what have you been up to? I know you made it to the big stage, just like we always knew you would, but that was a while ago."

"I was very proud," Rachel grinned.

"From what I hear you have every right to be. Santana said you were spectacular."

Rachel looked a bit confused as her eyes fell to her girlfriend. "You saw me?"

Her girlfriend blushed at the revelation. She'd only ever actually told her parents about her trips to New York, seeing as how she had to borrow the money from them. She was sure Brittany knew, but the tall blonde wasn't telling. "I had to see you on stage. How could I stay away?" Rachel could only smile. Knowing that even though they weren't together, Santana had made the effort to see her made her feel even more love than she knew she could for her. She wanted to question it more, but she left it alone.

"I wish we would have been able to see you too. We had so much going on. I was hoping that I would be able to see you one day though," chimed the older woman. "I know you have a beautiful little girl and an ex-husband but that's all."

"Mom," Santana interrupted. "You're here to have a good time. We're being thankful and all that. Let's not spoil it by talking about the ex." She wanted to huff. She loved her mother but she could be a nosey woman.

She turned her attention to her daughter. "Honey I just wanted to know how she's been. We missed her." Now she was looking at Rachel again. "Don't you know how much we care about you?"

"Of course," Rachel said with pleading eyes, trying to convey that she felt the same way.

"Alice, maybe this isn't the time for questions," Esteban spoke as he walked into the kitchen to join the women.

"Exactly," his daughter quickly agreed.

"It's just, I see that you're happy," the older mother began, "both of you. My little San has been going through the motions for years and now she's actually living." She looked to Rachel. "You look happy as well, though, I've never known you not to be. But if you have an ex-husband then you must not have been, for a little while anyway. And even though you both seem happy, you also seem haunted by something. Something that's making you nervous, and occasionally brings sadness to your eyes. You both have it. So does that little angel," she pointed the direction of Paige's bedroom.

"Mom!" Santana said firmly. Her girlfriend nudged her as a way to reprimand her for the tone she'd taken with her mother. She softened her voice. "Sorry, it's just…."

"Rachel, were you ill?" Esteban finally got the courage to ask. "Paige asked earlier if I was the kind of doctor that fixed you. What was wrong?"

The Latina rolled her eyes. They just didn't know when to let up.

"So much was wrong," the small brunette answered sadly.

"Babe, we don't have to go over this again," Santana assured. Rachel hadn't even told her own parents the full story, why would she want to tell Santana's?

"The court records are going to be public knowledge. This could get real public real fast. They should hear it from us. I'm going to tell my parents after the holidays anyway," she said as she intertwined her fingers with Santana's.

Santana took in a deep breath. "Grab a chair. This is one of _**those**_ conversations."

There was anger; there were tears; there were threats, hugs, promises and apologies. There was so much emotion going on in the kitchen that night, the adults didn't make it to bed until after one a.m.

"_I'm so sorry, baby." He said this with tear filled eyes. "I promise I didn't mean it."_

"_Just drive," she squeaked while clenching her abdomen in the back seat of her car. "Please just get me to the hospital, it hurts."_

"_We can't tell them what happened, Rachie. I can't afford for this to get around. You got mugged, okay?"_

"_I'll say anything just get me to the hospital." _

"_You know I didn't mean it right? I was just so pissed you'd flirt with him like that right in front of me. My mind just went right to the thought of you cheating on me. I can't have that, I just can't." For the first time she truly hated him. She was always able to cling to the one thing she did love him for and that was fathering her child. But now he'd taken one away. She knew it in her heart that Parker was gone and that he had caused it. She couldn't stay with this man. She needed to figure a way out of this. _

"_I know," she placated. "I know but I hurt too much to go over this right now. I didn't cheat and that's all I can say." _

"_I know I've fucked up. I'm a man and we do stupid shit. We screw around but you're supposed to do right. You can't hang around men like it's okay. They're going to get the wrong idea and then they'll make you stray. He seems like a nice old man but all he wants is to get in your pants. What would he have in common with a twenty-six-year-old pregnant wife and mother?" _

_Was he seriously still talking about this? Was he still trying to play the victim while she lay in fetal position bleeding all over the back seat of her car? She wanted to scream out in agony. She wanted to yell at him to shut the hell up. She wanted to send him right to hell, weather she believed it existed or not. There were so many things she wanted to do in that moment but all she could muster was a faint, "Okay" as the pain overtook her. _

"_What happened to you?" Jimmy's voice went from pleading one of a very serious nature._

"_Mugged," she wheezed._

"_Good girl," he said before the tears kicked in again. "I'm so sorry baby. I promise this will never happen again. We'll both do better and I won't have to let this happen again." She knew what she could do with his promises, they were never worth anything. _

"_Okay."_

"Wake up for me, Rach." Santana lightly shook her. The side table lamp was on.

"I am," she frantically yelped.

"Have a drink of water, okay."

"Rachel took the proffered glass and nearly guzzled it all.

"What was it about?"

"I don…."

"I knew I shouldn't have let my folks push you into that."

"I think it was for the best," Rachel said quietly. "I didn't want it to run my life anymore so I put it out of my head."

"I don't blame you."

"But it did happen and I have to accept that it was a part of my life. In a way it always will be. Yours and Paige's too."

"I just don't want it to define our relationship," Santana admitted. "I don't want to always be angry when it comes up. It always takes me back to that night and seeing you that way, Paige so scared, those messages."

"Me too. But you know what?"

"What?"

"We are so much more than that. We define us. You, Paigey, and me. We won the prize. We can't sweep it away. I did that as a kid and it sent me to Finn, Jesse, and ultimately Jimmy."

Santana grimaced at the realization before she pressed her lips to Rachel's in a chaste kiss. When they separated she repeated, "What was it about, and don't give me that shit about not remembering."

Rachel slumped and pushed the truth out through her mouth. "The ride to the hospital after the baby…"

Santana wrapped her arms around her and placed a small kiss to the back of her neck. "I wish I could make this better."

"No one can fix that," Rachel replied. "But you're doing a great job with everything else. Other than my daughter and my dad's, this is the first time in years I've felt like I could be truly thankful for so much. I think that's why it's so important to me now. Before it was just this holiday that was an excuse for people to overindulge but now, now I get it. I get what it means to be so thankful for what you have and wanting to be with people you love so you can show them just how thankful you are for them."

Santana had felt the same. Life post Rachel had been more about overworking herself and up until two and a half years ago, random hookups. She'd been living on autopilot in a self-imposed seclusion when Brittany, Quinn, or her parents weren't around. She had so much more now, and she would do anything to hang on to it. "I feel the same way mi Estella."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Thanksgiving was the next day and Rachel and Alice were driving their other halves crazy with preparation. Rachel had already had a meltdown about the turkey not being big enough. Alice was frustrated at the lack of nutmeg and various other ingredients missing in the house.

Dr. Lopez was assigned the daunting task of trying to locate his sister's whereabouts in order to obtain a few recipes that his wife had forgotten to pack in her luggage (Not that she admitted it was her doing).

Meanwhile, Santana ended up making multiple trips to the market that did not leave her in a good mood. It seemed as if every other household in Chicago was going through the same thing, so the stores were crowded and there was no luck getting every item needed on a list in one place. It also didn't help that she had gotten into an altercation with another woman over the last couple of cans of yams in one of the grocery stores. Her tiny tot was making yamallow as her special dish and nobody was going to mess that up for her. "Look lady! I'm not going back to my kid empty handed." She'd yelled. "So if there is any kind of brain in that lopsided head of yours, I suggest you let go of the damn cans before I mess up that screwed up dye job even more and not only leave here with the yams, but a fistful of that orange mop." Needless to say, Santana walked out of the store the winner before making her way to another in order to procure a bag of marshmallows.

Both Erin and Nomi opted to stay clear of the situation until the next day. They knew how their friend could be when she got fixated on something. "Lucky them," Santana had thought with a small snort. "This is going to be oh, so much fun." But despite all the hoopla, the warmth in her heart couldn't be contained. She was actually relishing in the chaos and was happy to see what was to come.


	12. Food for Thought

**Chapter A/N:** I am so sorry for the wait. Life and my muse have been screwing with me. Thank you to all that are still interested. I love the alerts, faves, and reviews, they keep me coming back. Oh and I apologize for errors. I'll fix them but I was anxious to get this up.

**Chapter summary:** Thanksgiving brings a couple of unexpected guest.

Chapter Twelve-Food for Thought

"Damn it Erin!" Rachel shrieked at the phone as she tried to balance it between her neck and shoulder and baste the turkey in the oven at the same time. "I put you on salad duty for a reason."

"You didn't specify what kind of salad it had to be," The tall teacher replied through the cell.

"I assumed you knew I meant a nice garden salad, a spinach salad, perhaps a Caesar salad, maybe even a marinated tomato and mozzarella salad if you were feeling creative. You weren't supposed to _**cook anything**_."

"I just thought homemade croutons would make it more authentic," Erin defended.

"And rather than toasting some bread you felt the need to bake it from scratch?"

"Well, yeah."

"Nomi was supposed to keep an eye on you."

"Hey," Erin shot incredulously, "I'm an adult for goodness sake. She's my fiancée not my keeper."

Rachel began to feel somewhat guilty for the tone of voice she'd been taking with her friend. "I'm sorry. I'm all stressed because I want this to be perfect. I shouldn't be taking it all out on you."

"Thanksgivings are never perfect, Ray. Trust me on that. It hasn't been since the very first one when the natives had to smile like they were cool with being taken over and pillaged by strange pale looking people and the diseases they brought with them." Rachel chortled at this. "There will always be way too much stress over a meal that will end up putting people into unhealthy food comas until half of them get up before dawn to stand in line at a bunch of stores in the freezing cold and have smack downs with random people over the limited amount of product that is on sale for less than twenty-four hours."

"Santana already had a grocery store smack down over the last of the canned yams," The short brunette giggled.

"Big fan, huh?"

"Alice got Paige all excited about that dish with the yams and marshmallows. She calls it yamellow. She's going to let her make it this year."

"So you trust a five-year-old with an oven and not me?"

"She'll have supervision," was the response.

"Okay, so maybe Nomi was asleep when I decided to experiment," Erin had the right mind to sound a little guilty. "I still think the flour was defective. I mean, a few extra hours in the oven shouldn't have caused all that smoke."

"Right, it was the flour's fault," Rachel deadpanned as she closed the oven.

"It was. It didn't even make the dough all big and pillowey like it was supposed to."

"Sweetie, that's what the yeast is for." Silence lingered for few seconds between them. "You did put yeast in the dough, correct?"

"So," Erin began to deflect. "You making cranberry sauce? Whole cranberries right?"

The former diva leaned back against the counter and shook her head. "I see what you're doing," the vocal instructor replied, but went on to answer the question anyway. "Neither Alice or myself will be preparing cranberry sauce. After all her mother and I are putting my girlfriend through, we decided it was only right to honor her request."

"She doesn't like cranberry sauce?"

"Oh to the contrary," said Rachel. "She's just a firm believer that cranberry sauce is meant to be in the shape of a can," she giggled.

"Seriously," Erin countered.

"Yep. Alice used to buy it like that. She didn't start making it until Santana was in college and my girl being my girl; well she refused to eat it."

"You people are so weird," the woman on the other end of the phone joked.

"Says the woman who tried to make croutons by baking her own yeastless bread for a few hours too long."

"Shut up," Erin harrumphed.

"Get rid of that smoke smell yet?" Rachel pushed.

"You're a bucket of laughs, Ray," sarcasm dripping from the woman's voice. "See you for dinner. I have another can of air-freshener to empty throughout the apartment."

"I was just joking with you."

"I know," laughter creeping back into her voice. "But I still gotta go."

"Alight," Rachel said before hearing her phone beep. "Someone's trying to get through on the other line anyway. It's probably for Paige. The girl has already talked to Noah, Quinn, my dads, and Britt today. Figures my kid would be more popular at five than I was in my whole k through twelve career," the former diva said in jest. "I'll see you later."

Erin chuckled before letting out a quick "bye."

Rachel pressed the button to swap lines "Hello."

"Rachel," she heard from the other end.

She scrunched her eyebrows. "Shelby?" Since she had been pregnant with Paige, the two women had a couple of somewhat brief conversation a year, though this year they hadn't spoken in almost eleven months. Rachel had called her mother a few times, only to leave messages on the older woman's voicemail letting her know of her whereabouts and her cellphone number changes. Shelby hadn't even been informed that Rachel was divorced, just that she had relocated. Rachel hadn't been afraid that Jimmy would contact Shelby because the two had never met. The few days that mother and daughter spent together during Rachel's first pregnancy were during one of Jimmy's business trips and he never spoke to her on the phone.

"Yeah it's me," the woman said nervously.

Rachel gulped. "Um, happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Rachel. Uh, listen," the woman began, "Beth and I came up to spend the holiday with a friend of mine and we thought we might surprise you tomorrow, before we left town. Only her mother ended up in the hospital so dinner was canceled."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope everything turns out alright."

"Thank you," Shelby returned. "I was wondering what your plans were for the day. I thought maybe we could have dinner together. I mean, it's been so long since you've seen Beth and I haven't met Paige or Jimmy yet."

Rachel had to force herself not to scoff. The woman couldn't even bring herself to say that she wanted to see her. However, being Rachel, she couldn't bring herself to say no. "I, well….I'm sure we have enough room for two more. Though I'll need to ask Sa….."

Having left her Father and Paige to finish the end of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade on the television in the den, Santana began to round the corner just as hear her name was being said. "Ask me what?" She asked, slipping her arms onto her lover's hips.

"Oh, do you think we could squeeze two more people at the table?"

"Sure I guess," Santana replied, trying to read the smaller woman's facial expression.

Shelby heard the answer on her end, not sure why she needed permission from some woman to spend the day with Rachel and her family. "Oh, great. If you could text me the address and let me know what time to show, we'll be sure to be there with bells on. Maybe even with a nice bottle of wine in hand as well."

"That won't be necessary. Just bring yourselves," the younger woman exclaimed. Dinner will be served at four. I will send you the address once we hang up."

"Alright, Rachel. Beth is very excited to see you."

"Same for me," she replied. "I have to start chopping up these veggies if dinner is going to be on time so I better go."

"Okay, we'll see you at four."

"See you then." Rachel hung up the phone and quickly saved the number to her phone before texting the address.

The Latina woman kissed her lover on the cheek before asking, "So, who else is joining us?"

"Shelby," the shorter woman nearly whispered, "and Beth. They happened to be in town and her plans fell through."

The taller woman looked at the nervous features that now took precedents over Rachel's face. "Are you okay with that? Babe if you're not you can always call her back and tell her I'm not. Hell I can call her back and tell her myself." They both found themselves speaking low, not wanting to disturb the others in the home, especially Alice who was bound to make her way into the kitchen to begin her own preparations at any moment.

"Yes, I'm just a bit surprised," Rachel answered. "We've never really done the holiday thing. Goodness, we've never really done the sit at the table and have a meal thing. The closest thing to it was soup and sandwiches in my bedroom when I was on bed rest with Paige and that was fairly awkward."

"But you don't want to back out?"

"No. I'm not sure how I'm going to introduce her to Paige though. I don't want her thinking of Shelby as her grandmother just to be ignored by her in the future." Santana thought about it for a moment. Rachel's was right to be concerned. Other than Hiram and Leroy, Paige hadn't had extended family until recently and she'd become quickly attached to them. Even in the couple of days she'd known Santana's parents, she'd grown quite close to the pair.

"Why don't you just introduce her as a friend at first and see what happens?"

"Yes, I think that would be for the best." Rachel tried to sound confident. Santana could see that she was pretending to be less affected than she really was. She wanted to push the issue; however, the day was stressful enough without her adding to it. "I'm just worried about Esteban."

"Why would you be worried about my dad?"

"He's already around all this estrogen. We're going to give him a complex."

"Somehow I think he'll be okay." Sniggered the Latin woman. "Okay, so what can I help you with?"

"Well, you could snap the green beans for the green bean casserole." It came out as more of a question than a declaration.

"I think I can manage that."

"Good to know. After that, your services will no longer be required." Rachel knew Santana wasn't one for this kind of thing. She could cook if needed, but it wasn't something she was much interested in. Once she'd moved away from home she'd become accustomed to takeout, restaurants, and simple, easy to prepare meals.

"Eh, you and my mom are doing all this work so I figure I could help out a little," she grinned. "I'll fix the cranberry sauce."

"Why are you sure you're up for the daunting task of pealing back the tab on the can and usurping its contents on to a suitable dish?" The small brunette giggled. "However will you get it just right?"

The other woman leaned into her ear ever so close and husked out, "Baby, I can do things with these hands that no one else can come close to. These things are magical," sending shivers up Rachel's spine and causing her breath to hitch. _Score: Lopez 1 –Berry 0._

"As…..um…as… you've demonstrated plenty. Just this…. M-morning even." Rachel stumbled back, in an attempt to put distance between them. She was close to the parents Lopez, but she'd never be okay with the idea of one of them walking in on them in a compromising position.

"What's wrong Rach?" The lawyer was being smug. "You weren't trying to get away from me earlier."

She should have known she was in for it when she saw the edges of Rachel's mouth peak upward, while her eyes stared at her intently. She slowly sealed the gap between them before gliding her fingers up her partner's caramel colored arm. "You know you've always been the one to do things to me that I just couldn't refuse," Her voice had gone sultry, void of all earlier panic and stress. "Your hands," she brought Santana's left hand to her lips and placed a light kiss to the middle finger. "Your mouth," she lightly brushed her lips over the other woman's. "You make me go all week kneed. Make it so I have no shame in begging for you to take me." Santana gulped. "Do I do any of that for you?"

"Ye-yeah. You…ah you do it….do it all the time. I always want… to touch you and be…..be touched...by you," the taller woman proclaimed shakily. "Always." She reached out to bring her hand back down to her lover's hips when Rachel suddenly whirled away from the contact.

"Yeah, I thought that might be the case," Rachel said airily.

'Seriously,' Santana thought. 'Did she really just work me up like that just to leave me hanging?'

"Hello ladies," Alice chirped as she briskly entered the room. "Ready to get this show on the road?"

"Yes ma'am," Rachel answered in the same chirpy tone.

"Yeah, sure," answered Santana. Score: Lopez 1-Berry 1. She was still finding out all kinds of new things about her girlfriend. She'd never thought that the singer would actually participate in a game of chicken, especially the sex addition. Santana could gather that technically she won that round, not having been the first to back down. She would have taken it all the way if Rachel would have let her, but she couldn't help but feel like she'd lost this round regardless. "Uh, Rach….I need to go do some paperwork in my office first. Just to….you know…get it over with. Can the green beans wait for a half hour or so?"

"I believe so," the other woman sing-songed.

"Good," Santana replied, turning to make her leave.

"Oh and honey," her girlfriend said, catching her attention."

"Yes dear?" the Latina gritted her teeth.

"Make sure you wash your hands when you're done." Santana glared at her. "What? Who knows how many hands your files have passed through? Besides, it's important to wash your hands thoroughly before one handles food."

"Very true Sanny," Alice confirmed. The woman's daughter stomped the rest of the way to her office, the one room nobody entered without her consent, and locked the door behind her. She was going to have to take care of herself, and quick. _Damn that little Jewish minx_.

The afternoon was fairing pretty well. Paige had decided that she was going to not only learn how to make the dish she was going to make, but she'd learn all of what Alice was making as well. The girl could hardly retain all the information being thrown her way, but she enjoyed it none the less. Esteban was glued to a football game and could occasionally be heard grumbling about a play or a call. Santana found herself hiding out in her study once she finished doing her part in the kitchen.

In truth she was worried about Shelby and Beth coming over. She'd thought that the woman had some nerve inviting herself over for dinner after her own plans had fallen through after being in town and not even bothering to inform her daughter that she was. Shelby had hurt Rachel in a way that had the potential to break her. Sure, it had been a long time ago, but she was a grown woman at the time. When Santana had originally been told of the situation with Shelby (Not the version the glee club was given, but the real story.) she had wanted to go and strangle the woman herself. Who goes so far out of their way to hire a student from one school to simultaneously plant evidence to get your long lost daughter's attention and plant a mole to shut down the competition? If that wasn't bad enough she went on to tell the girl that she wasn't what she wanted and that they could appreciate each other from afar. AFAR! Of course Rachel wouldn't make a big deal of it. She wasn't exactly going to beg the woman to stay around for her. So Rachel took a cup with a gold star on it and pretended that it was all okay, even after the woman had replaced her with her then enemy's baby. She wanted to spit nails.

The lawyer took a moment to calm herself. Rachel had enough on her plate to deal with. She wasn't going to make any waves just because she wanted to give Shelby a piece of her mind. So when the doorbell rang at 3:00 she put her own show face on and exited her office sanctuary to welcome their guests. She was hoping that it would be Erin and Nomi to show up first, seeing as how it hadn't quite hit four o'clock, but no such luck. When she opened the door she found herself face to face with an older taller version of her girlfriend. The years had been good to the woman. She had a laugh line or two, even the tiniest of crow's feet, but nothing extreme. Her hair had no greys, though the younger woman suspected that Shelby's hair had been dyed.

"Hello Shelby," Santana said in a nearly sickeningly sweet tone. "You probably don't remember me, but I went to high school with Rach. We were in glee club together." The Latina reached out her hand to shake the other woman's.

"Hello," Shelby answered. "This is…"

Before she could answer Santana had let the name Beth slip from her lips. She was suddenly in awe as she saw what the combination of two of her closest friends had created. The child had dark blonde hair French braided back, and light brown eyes. She could see Puck's nose and Quinn's lips and jaw line. She was a pretty little thing that was for sure. If she wasn't already, she was sure to be a real heartbreaker.

"Yeah," the girl replied slowly. "That's me. Nice to meet you."

"You too," Santana found the animosity she felt of her girlfriend's behalf begin to dissipate in the moment. "Come on in," she beamed as she scrambled out of the way. "Rach, come greet our guests."

"Oh so they want special treatment because it's a holiday?" Rachel laughed from the other room. "Guess that's why they rang the bell instead of walking in like normal. I should really get that key…back." Her voice stilled as she entered to room, only to see that Shelby had arrived earlier than expected. "Hi," she said, her nerves reappearing before Santana's very eyes.

"Hi Rachel," Shelby just as tentatively smiled.

"Hi Beth, do you remember me?"

"A little," the girl admitted. "I remember seeing you laying down a lot. I've seen lots of pictures though."

"You have grown into a very beautiful young lady."

"Thank you."

Feeling the tension Santana felt the need to relieve the girl of the situation. "Paige is in the kitchen conning my mom into letting her sneak a cookie to tide her over by now. Maybe you could work your magic and get a couple for yourself." She looked to Shelby. "If that's okay with your mom that is."

"Sure it is," the older woman answered. "Great. I'll show you the way. Santana ushered the girl to the kitchen where, just as she'd predicted, Paige was partaking in a peanut butter cookie.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Shelby leaned in to give Rachel and awkward hug. "It's good to see you."

"It surely was a surprise to hear from you, today of all days."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't give you much warning, once I got the idea into my head I just couldn't get it out."

"Yeah, I guess I get that from you," the smaller woman replied. "Look, before you meet Paige, I need to speak with you."

"Okay." Shelby looked somewhat put off by the request. "Sure."

"Perhaps in the bedroom? It would be more private." Rachel began leading her mother to the room she and her girlfriend shared without waiting for a reply. Shelby quietly followed, realizing that she wasn't required to answer.

Once in the bedroom Shelby found her eyes scanning over the details of the space. It was obvious from the look of things that the occupant of the room liked things tidy and even more so that they liked pretty things. Jewelry boxes and shiny objects stood uniformly across dressers. The bed rivaled four star hotel creases. She could see that there was a walk-in closet along across from his and hers sinks that indicated a bathroom to the right of them. Shelby was impressed by the José Antonio Torres Martino "Lanscape in Ponce" gracing the far wall.

Rachel noticed her mother admiring the piece of art. She too was still in awe of the orange, yellows, and blues that splashed across the canvas. "Santana got it a few years ago."

"It's a very nice print," Shelby complimented.

"Actually it's the original. She got it from an auction that she was only attending for networking purposes. She's the third to own it."

"Impressive. So she's into art?"

"Not really. She just said that when she saw it, it spoke to her. She rarely has those moments so I imagine it really touches her. I'm quite fond of it myself," the smaller brunette said, still looking at the painting.

"So, you wanted to talk?"

"Oh, yes," the younger woman began. "I just wanted to discuss with you about how I've chosen to introduce you to Paige." Shelby looked confused. "See, up until recently, the only extended family Paige has had are my parents. She doesn't see them often but they communicate with her fairly regularly. Now she has some of my old friends in her life and she sees them as her uncle and aunts. Once she makes connections she becomes very attached. She's been through a lot and I don't want her to lose anyone else she lov….." Rachel had yet to take a breath.

"Rachel, calm down. Breathe," the elder of the pair soothed.

Rachel did as she was told in order to regroup herself. She kind of wanted to do this like ripping off a band-aid. No matter their history, she didn't want to hurt her mother's feelings. "I don't want to introduce you as family if this is all she's going to know of you. I won't let you establish something with my daughter if you're going to end up saying something to her like, 'I may be your grandmother, but I'm not your grandma.' She isn't going to understand the whole 'appreciating each other from a distance; thing."

"Ouch," Shelby breathed. She hadn't really expected to have to contend with her own words all these years later. "When you put it like that."

"I didn't say it to hurt you," said Rachel. "I just care about her feelings more than yours; more than anybody's actually. She's my little girl."

"I'm not so sure what to say to all that. I don't know what the status of our relationship is going to be. I wanted to see you, really but we have never been especially close. I thought you were okay with that," the taller woman said honestly.

"That is what I allowed you to believe, yes. Though my feelings aren't what matter in this. Right now I just want to keep my baby, and Beth for that matter, from being hurt by our screwed up blood ties. It isn't their fault that we can't get it together enough to be bothered by one another more than once every five or six years. They deserve better than that from us. So if we can't let them behave like family, then they shouldn't be pushed into seeing each other as such." She'd explained things the best she could. She wasn't trying to bring her own sadness about her failed relationship with Shelby, but disclosing some of it was necessary. Her mother wouldn't have been able to understand otherwise.

"So how will you introduce us?"

"The same way you introduced me to Beth for the first time. You're a friend of the family."

"Okay, then." Now that that was out of the way, Shelby wanted to ask all the glaring questions that lay thick in the room. She wanted to know so much, however, having had the previous conversation, she wasn't exactly sure if she had the right, or deserved the privilege of asking any of them.

Rachel could since it. She knew the other woman had been expecting to see Jimmy, yet he was nowhere to be found. Even in the very small amount of time Shelby had been there, it was painfully obvious that she and Santana were more than just good friends. The picture of Rachel, Santana, and Paige on the left in table just put a stamp of confirmation on any suspicion. "I'm divorced and yes, I'm in a relationship with Santana. She's always been the one I wanted to be with. And before you ask, she isn't the reason I got the divorce." Shelby went to speak but her daughter raised her hand to stop her. "It's Thanksgiving. I don't want to get in to it. This should be a happy day. I should also warn you that if you push the issue in front of my girlfriend, she'll try very hard not to be mean, but she would be likely to verbally lash out at you."

"Thanks for the warning," the woman chuckled.

"Yes well I th….." Rachel was interrupted by her very excitable daughter bursting into the room.

"Mommy Aunty Erin and Auntie Nomi are here. And guess what? I have a new frie…." At seeing the stranger in the room, the girl immediately quieted.

"What's your friend's name, sweetie?" Rachel crouched down to her childes height.

"Beth," the girl said quietly.

"Well, then I guess you might like to know Beth's mommy. Her name is Shelby. She's a friend of the family."

"Hello Paige." The woman looked at her granddaughter with a gleam in her eye. The women definitely had the dominating genes in her family. "You look so much like your mommy," she breathed without really thinking.

"So do you," the child replied. Shelby couldn't help but blush, while Rachel tried not to visibly grimace at her kid's observation skills.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Introductions had been made all the way around. Surprisingly to Santana, dinner had only been about ten minutes behind schedule. Her mother was never really able to get big meals on the table less than an hour behind. Apparently Rachel's ever enduring affinity to being on time was rubbing off on the older Lopez. So at 4:10 the table was littered with more food than anyone had a right to indulge in. Nomi's mashed potatoes sat next to the turkey (that in no way was too small, though Rachel had insisted it was the day earlier) and the simple garden salad that Nomi ended up making once she'd put her foot down and forbade Erin from re-entering the kitchen after the bread debacle. From there on, there was at least a week's worth of leftovers staring back at them.

Her parents sat across from one another at the left end of the table. Erin took the seat between Alice and Nomi, who sat beside Paige and Santana next to her. Across from them, Shelby sat next to Esteban and Beth, and Rachel took the seat next to her.

After a round of 'What I'm Thankful For' the table was set abuzz with mild mundane chatter. The adults at the table were aware that they had to watch what they said in each other's presents and even more so with the kids around. Santana decided that she wanted to break the ice if even just slightly. "You know tiny tot, you sure know how to whip up a mean yamillow. My mom is a great cook, but you must have the magic touch."

"That's pretty big. Tana's a tough critic." Rachel said before she slipped a spoonful of the concoction between her lips.

"Now didn't I tell you that you did it perfect?" Alice added.

"She knows what she's talking about," Esteban interjected.

Everyone else at the table murmured their praises of the girl's work. Paige beamed. "Thank you. Abuela Alice taught me what the family secret ingredient is." The heavy silence that followed could not be denied. Both of Santana's parents smiled wide at the girl's words, though everyone else, minus the children was confused.

"Sweetie, I thought we were going to ask mommy if it was okay for you to call Es and I Abuela and Abuelo before you actually did." Alice was no fool. She knew that Paige was going to be in her life for the long haul. Her daughter loved that kid like her own. As a matter of fact, so did she. The little girl had a way of making you love her right out of the gate, but she also knew that she needed permission from the girl's mother before she presumed the girl to be her granddaughter. Shelby being there made it more awkward as well.

"But I never had an Abuela before. I have a granddad and a granddaddy but no Abuelo."

"Of course it's alright, baby," Rachel genuinely smiled. She loved that her daughter had found that connection with the Santana's parents the way she had with her. She couldn't bring herself to look at her mother, though. They had just had a conversation that pretty much concluded that she would not be a grandmother to Paige and now she worried that the other woman may think she was rubbing it in that Paige had that love from elsewhere.

"Cool!" Paige almost yelled. Santana laughed, trying to ignore that she did kind of want to rub it in.

"Wow, kid. Your family just keeps growing," Erin joked. "In less than a year you got five aunts, an uncle, an Abuela, and an Abuelo. You're just too easy to love."

"It's true." Santana began. "You had me at the juice box story."

Nomi, Erin, and Paige all laughed. "Of course that would be it," Nomi replied through her laughter.

Sensing that her other guests were feeling a bit out of place, Rachel spoke over the commotion. "What grade are you in Beth? Your twelve now, right?"

"Yep, I'm in the seventh grade," she said proudly. "I'm on the honor roll."

_Hello Quinn, _Santana thought as the girl began to prattle on about the things in which she was involved.

"Beth is very well rounded," added Shelby with her own pride.

"Any clubs? Extracurricular activities?" Rachel was very interested to know.

"I'm on the girls' basketball team," she began.

_Puck _

"I also do chorus, because mom made me," she laughed.

_Shelby_

"I'm doing drama next quarter."

_Also Shelby_

"AndI took gymnastics for a couple of years before middle school."

_Quinn again_

"Wow, you are one well rounded girl indeed," stated the vocal coach.

"Are you going to keep up with the B ball in high school?" This was Santana.

"Maybe. I may want to do dance or something.

"My Auntie Brittany teaches dance," Paige cut in. She's really good too but, she can't do it as much right now because she's going to have a baby."

"That's cool," said the blonde. She was acting overly interested to appease the little girl.

"It really is. I saw a DVD of when she was in school and she danced sooooooo good. Uncle Puck, Auntie Quinn, Tana, and mommy were pretty good too, but Auntie Brittany was amazing. She danced with a boy," Paige snickered at the last part. "He was really good too, even if Tana said he wasn't so good at singing. Then there was this one big guy that kept bumping into people though. He wasn't very good, but mommy says that dancing wasn't one of his strengths." Now Santana snickered. If Mike and Finn could have traded off, they would have made one great leading man. "Oh, and I also a DVD of them cheerleading. Not Uncle Puck 'cause he played football and not Mommy because I don't know why, but the other Aunties. They were really good. They won a lot. Tana said it was because they had that scary coach."

Everyone laughed at the child's excitement. Well, everyone but Shelby. She was still stuck on the names Puck and Quinn. She knew from Jesse that Quinn and Rachel were not good friends. They were borderline enemies. In fact she knew from him that most of the glee club were not huge fans of her daughter, nor was the school in general, especially the jocks and cheerleaders. And if memory of Jesse's reports served her correctly, Santana was particularly vicious to most, but paid extra attention to Rachel. Yet somehow, her daughter had become friends with the very people that hurt her most back then. She ignored that part of her that added _other than me_ and Jesse. Rachel and her daughter's biological mother spoke regularly enough for Paige to consider her an aunt. She really knew nothing about Rachel's life, and the worse part about it was that she was the one that made it that way.

"I thought about cheerleading for a while," the blonde girl replied.

_Quinn makes another appearance._

"Then I realized it wasn't my thing. Too much crazy goes along with it at the high school. I heard some of them could be really mean and the coach controls them like drones; what they eat, who they can date and be friends with….." Rachel snorted.

_Okay, not so much_

"The Coach wouldn't be Sue Sylvester would it?" Asked Santana.

"No. It's Farah Sneed. She's like a legend in Douglas"

"Just checking."

"I'd end up throwing all the cheerleading pompoms in the dumpster and setting it on fire if I had to put up with that."

_And Puck is back with a vengeance. _

"Beth," Shelby reprimanded.

"What? It's true."

The girl's mother pursed her lips and rolled her eyes. "I thought you'd learn her lesson after the whole nail glue incident."

"It was funny," the seventh grader laughed.

"And what was the nail glue incident?" Santana quarried.

Shelby covered her face in embarrassment while her child was quick to answer with immodesty. "There was this girl I used to take gymnastics with. She used to call me names all the time. She even spread rumors about me being left on the doorstep by migrant apes, whatever that is. Well, anyway, I kind of had enough so one day I sort of put nail glue on different places of her leotard. She didn't feel the heat of the glue until she realized she was sticking to her clothes."

_Puck for the win! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!_

"It was so worth being kicked out."

"At least she took responsibility for it," Shelby huffed.

"Hey, if I do it, I own it."

_Yeah, totally Puck's spawn. _Santana found herself smirking, though outwardly she said, "Don't get any ideas, tiny tot."

"I'm not allowed to play with glue without a grown up," the girl responded as if she wanted to add a 'duh' to the sentence.

Variations of "That's' right," were heard around the table.

Again there was laughter. Rachel didn't comment. It wasn't that she thought what Beth had done was right. It was that she had often wondered if she had fought back when she was younger, would she have had to deal with the bullying as much? She had to admit that she was glad that Beth had stood up for herself, even in such a misguided way. Besides, it **was **pretty funny.

TBC….


	13. Keep on Moving on

**A/N: One more chapter and an Epilogue to go folks. Oh and I did a little legal research about Illinois law, but not too much. I admit I disregarded some of it to fit my own needs. Hey this is set far enough in the future that things could change right?…..right? Eh, well I tried. Mistakes are all mine but nobody from the glee world is, in case you didn't know.**

**Chapter Summary: More people find out about Rachel's life and Jimmy is sentenced.**

Chapter Thirteen - Keep on Moving On

The aftermath of Thanksgiving left everyone with mixed emotions. Santana still had animosity toward Shelby, though she was on her best behavior the whole time. Esteban, Alice and even Nomi and Erin also felt some negative feelings where the choir instructor was concerned, yet none of them would actually say so out loud to the former diva, or her mother. Shelby had been perfectly nice during the holiday, but they all had a hard time knowing how she'd turned her back on an already insecure teenaged girl after she'd gone out of her way to insinuate herself into the girl's life in the first place.

Shelby had come over the day after to officially say goodbye before she and Beth had to make their flight back to Colorado. It had been a slightly awkward meeting, though Shelby had managed to ask if it was okay to stay in touch more than they had in the past. Rachel agreed, mainly because for the first time her mother asked her for permission rather than making a decision and imposing it on her. The older woman may have told herself that Rachel was okay with keeping each other at a distance, but a part of her had to know that her daughter was only going along with it because she didn't want cause Shelby any discomfort.

Rachel still didn't trust her, she would have to earn it, but she was willing to see where things could lead. She and Santana felt it would be best to keep referring to Shelby as a family friend when in Paige's presents because this was simply a trial run. Shelby had yet to say that she wanted to be a mother to Rachel.

On an even better note, Rachel was glad that she got along so well with Beth, especially since Paige thought the older girl was the best thing since "Scooby Doo". She'd barely waited an hour after Shelby and Beth had left the house to upload the pictures she took of the twelve-year-old. Rachel made sure to call both Quinn and Puck to let them know of the dinner that had been shared with their daughter. They both wanted to hear all about it and readily accepted the pictures via email. Puck thought he was a rock star once he'd heard how his genetics seemed to pass down baddassery to his progeny.

She didn't like to admit it, but she'd had some jealousy issues regarding the baby that once was. She'd kept it to herself because she felt ridiculous for having those feelings. It wasn't Beth's fault that she had been rejected. To admit her feelings out loud would have just proven to everyone at the time that she truly was selfish. So she kept her feelings under wraps until recently when she'd dedicated three therapy sessions to that very topic.

While Paige pouted about having to say goodbye to Beth, the girl threw a major tantrum when it was time for Esteban and Alice to return to Lima. It took Alice ruining the surprise that wasn't supposed to be revealed until the day before Christmas Eve. For the first time, Santana wasn't going to return to Lima for Christmas. Her parents were going to join her and her family in Chicago. With the news, Paige was immediately thrown into all kinds of ideas of what to do when they came back.

The rest of the holiday season was a mix of its own kind of crazy. Though Rachel had once decided to raise her children in the Jewish faith, once Paige was born she had decided to raise her kids the way she was, in both the Jewish and the Christian faiths. That way she could allow her children to choose what fit them best once they were grown. However, complications with Jimmy had her becoming lax in her Judaism. She'd explained things to her daughter, such as Passover and Hanukkah, though they hadn't actually celebrated them. With encouragement from Santana, the three of them celebrated Hanukkah. Surprisingly, once Paige had gushed to her Grandaddy Leroy about the holiday, the Berry men were determined to join in on the festivities. The fact that Rachel's birthday was three days into it was also a plus.

Rachel had been pleasantly surprised as to how well everything was going. She had her daughter, her girlfriend, and her fathers with her all at once. The men were ecstatic that their daughter had rekindled her relationship with Santana and very much enjoyed reacquainting themselves with the Latina as well.

They were the parents she used to have; the fathers that were attentive and doting, not the ones that lacked interest in her day to day. They had always shown up during the big moments in Rachel's life, even after she became a teenager. They were there during her big recitals, and performances. They made it to watch her go off to her prom and her graduation. They saw her off to college and flew into New York to watch her in productions. It was the little stuff they weren't there for. The days when she'd come home crying over something that had happened in school, or with Finn, or Jesse. The times when her spirit seemed like it was going to fade away or, when she just needed to talk about her day; those were the times that they missed. They were never able to see how well she could pretend off the stage because they allowed themselves to believe that their daughter didn't need them the same way she did when she was younger. They weren't bad parents; they just weren't the most available. Unfortunately, to a kid that has hidden self-esteem issues, distant parents who spend half their lives on business trips or on childless vacations only adds onto the notion that they aren't good enough. This left Rachel to try even harder to be good enough and further alienating her peers as she did so.

Having her fathers with them made all the difference in the world and she inwardly kicked herself for pushing them away all this time. At least that's how she felt until the evening before their departure. Hiram, Leroy, and Santana had been sitting with Paige in the den watching 'The Lion King', while Rachel was heating up hot chocolate in the kitchen. The Jewish man had chosen that time to check his emails on his cell phone. When he came across an email from a former co-worker and friend, who often sent him links to LGBT related news articles that he thought the man may be interested in, he was surprised to see the note inside. Usually the other man would write something along the lines of, 'Thought you might find this interesting,' or 'Have a read and let me know your thoughts on it.' But no, this time the message read 'I am so sorry that she's had to go through all of that. Please send your daughter my love and support.' The puzzled man quickly clicked on the link that followed and immediately began to read the blog he'd been guided to. The more he read, the more visibly agitated he became.

It was his granddaughter who had noticed first. "It's okay granddad," the little girl said sympathetically. "Simba's gonna come back and make sure Scar gets punished."

Both Leroy and Santana looked over at him quizzically. Seeing the concern in his grandchild's eyes, he managed to calm himself enough to say, "That's good, baby girl. I was getting worried that the bad guy was going to get away with what he did and nobody would have ever told his family what happened." Santana knitted her brow, not quite getting the double meaning, while Leroy placed a hand on his husband's shoulder in order to ease the obvious tension in the other man.

"Granddad, even I know that the bad guy never wins in these movies."

"That's right," he said, trying to hold back the tears and rage he felt desperately trying to surface.

Leroy had finally put two and two together and realized that whatever it was that had caused Hiram's mood change, had come from something he had seen on his phone. The tall African American man reached for the phone and quickly adjusted his glasses before taking in the words on the screen. Not wanting to alarm the child, the Lawyer simply watched both of the men as Leroy's mood began to match his partner's.

It was then that Rachel swept into the room cheerily with a tray of hot chocolate in hand. She looked first to Paige, who's attention had turned back to the television screen, and then to the worried eyes of her lover. She followed the dark eye's line of sight to see the intensity that her parents were radiating. Rather than say anything in front of her child, she simply offered each individual a cup of the warm sweetness before cuddling up beside Santana. She'd wait to question the mood change until she and her girlfriend had tucked Paige in.

By the end of the movie Paige had been exhausted. She went to bed with little protest. While normally they would have been thankful for that, they would both soon find that they wished the girl had put up more of a fight as to delay what was coming.

As soon as the women made it back into the den, Hiram was up on his feet enveloping his child in his arms openly crying. Leroy was still sitting, staring at his husband's cell phone screens through tears of his own. Santana looked at her girlfriend's black father with some sort of fear in her. She'd only ever seen the men cry at their high school graduation but it had been nothing like this.

"I wanted to kill him when you said that he pushed you and slapped you, but you said to stay away. You said it was just a spur of the moment thing and that you doubted it would happen again. You said that we should stay away because it was nothing big and it would be taken care of," the dark man said through his own sobs. "Why didn't you tell us everything? We could have done something."

Santana put a hand on Rachel's back for support. It took about thirty seconds for the Jewish woman to get her thoughts straight. "Dad, can you…..can you sit down with Daddy, please?" She asked the man who was still holding on to her so tightly. The man reluctantly removed himself from his daughter and made his way back to his husband. "There wasn't anything you could do," she said honestly. Before her fathers went to speak she waved them off. "What was done was done. I didn't want you to get upset over something that you couldn't do anything about."

"Rachel, that sorry excuse of a man almost killed you and apparently he's been hurting you for years. We could have stopped that," Hiram squeaked. "We could have protected you, you're our child."

"I'm not a child anymore. I've been painfully aware of that. I did what I thought it was I had to do and yes, some of it went wrong but in the end everything fell into place," Rachel answered.

"He beat you," Leroy said firmly. "He took our grandchild's life, Rachel. You were going through all of that alone. Honey, he tried to kill Santana."

"Yes I did. Until I left, yes I went through all of that alone," Rachel began. "I chose to. I was used to it. I did it as a teenager when I went through all kinds of crap in school, until I started hanging out with San. I did it when I was depressed over whatever it was that had me that way at the time. I did it with a smile on my face that had everyone fooled. I had years of practice hiding my pain dad." She wasn't accusing them of anything, she was just trying to tell them the truth, yet that didn't keep either man from recoiling at the words.

"I know we fostered a lot of independence on you as a teen, baby. And if we're being honest, we took advantage of the fact that you seemed alright with it. Maybe we didn't prove to you that you could come to us for the important stuff," Leroy was apologizing for things he'd known deep down. He didn't know the full extent of his daughter's high school woes, though he and his husband had always known that Rachel held back from them once they'd begun leaving her to her own devices.

Hiram knew his husband enough to know what he was trying to convey and chose to speak up at that moment. "We love you, Ray. We may have fallen down on the job. Frankly right now I'm pissed off at both myself and your daddy for not showing you that we could be there for you when you need us."

"You were there for all of the big stuff you knew about. You were good parents. The truth is I would have kept things to myself no matter how attentive you were. It's just who I am to internalize things that I hurt me. But if it makes you feel better, I wasn't alone this time. I had people in my corner," she looked at the lawyer with a thankful smile. Santana still had her hand on her back, quietly watching things play out.

"But we should have been there for you as well. Honey we're going to be here for you when you testify at the sentencing," Hiram said with conviction.

"No," said the woman in a tone that matched her father's. "That's what I don't want. I don't want you to hear me verbalize the details. I don't want you to have those images in your mind. If I could help it, I wouldn't let anyone I know be there."

"But Ra…," Leroy started.

"No Daddy! I will not have you there. It's going to be stressful enough as it is. I really can't deal with you there too. I love you so much for wanting to support me but I won't have that."

"Try to calm down," Santana whispered in Rachel's ear, now rubbing her back. Within seconds it dawned on the woman to ask, "How did you even find out about this?"

Without a word Leroy stood and slowly approached his daughter and her girlfriend before handing over his husband's cell phone.

The woman rapidly scanned over the content of some blog they'd never read before.

**The Lima Connection**

_**Two Former Residents of Lima to Testify at sentencing of Abusive Former Husband in Attempted Murder Case. Court date set for January. Read on for further details. **_

With coaxing from his public defender, Jimmy had pleaded guilty. It was pretty much the only hope the man had to spend time out of prison in the foreseeable future. He had been assessed by a psychiatrist and was proven to be sane. Anything about temporary insanity went out the window because the man had been plotting over an extensive amount of time. Add to that, that the man had been very open about what he'd done and showed little remorse.

The District Attorney's office was playing hard ball. They finally decided to focus on the attempted murder above all else. It was figured that it would be away to put the man away for the rest of his life, without using extra taxpayer money to do it. Needless to say, Santana didn't appreciate it being said like that. No deals had been put on the table. The case was pretty much a slam dunk and they were certain that even if he had pled anything but guilty, they would have gotten a solid conviction. Now Jimmy's only chance was to gain sympathy from the judge at his sentencing. He was most likely going to play the 'forever wheelchair bound' angle and he was sure to bring in at least one character witness to prove that he was no longer a threat. The prosecutor had informed Rachel, Santana, and Erin that they would need to be that much more convincing to prove otherwise.

"What the hell!" The Latin woman was seething, though she was desperately trying to stay calm for Rachel's sake. "Who would have done this? How would they even know?" Santana knew it was an open court case, but it hadn't been major news so it had been easily overlooked. Someone would have had to go out of their way to look up details about the situation. It was upon a few more seconds of further investigation that the lawyer was able to see who the responsible party was. "I'm going to strangle that freak with my bare hands," she grumbled.

"I..I don't understand," Rachel began. "He still….. he still blogs? I thought he had his own legal problems right now, what with being sued for groping an employee. Why would he be concentrating on me after all this time?"

"I don't know but I'll see that he doesn't so much as touch a facebook account after this," said Santana. The ingrate had gone too far. They weren't kids anymore. He should have learned boundaries by now.

"He's had a blog about the goings on of Lima residents for years. Mainly about local calebs. I don't know what put you on his radar now." Leroy was becoming angry again, thinking about the little perv who was using his daughter's pain as entertainment. The guy blogged about many people in Lima, yet his own legal woes never made the cut. Leroy was going to make it a point to have a little chat with Jacob Ben Israel as soon as he returned home. "I'll deal with him Santana." He and the woman shared a look of comradely that didn't go unnoticed by their significant others.

Hiram had no disapproval in the understanding. Though Rachel did say, "No violence, okay. I've had enough of that. Besides, it's a blog about Lima Ohio, who really reads that thing?" Hiram gave her a worried look. "Great. That's just fantastic." There her life was on display for all to see. But it wasn't just her life; it was her daughter's and her girlfriend's as well. Paige's name hadn't been used; Jacob had at least had enough respect not to go there, not that he would have been able to find her name in the court record, as she was a minor. However, Santana's had. She had been violated too and that was what upset her the most. That and the fact that it could come back to haunt Paige in the future if she'd ever wanted to cover the events up.

Surprisingly it wasn't until the next day that Puck, and Quinn, Brittany along with Artie started blowing up their phones. Rachel had convinced her fathers to go on home and not to come back for the hearing. She really couldn't deal with them being there and they didn't want to make things more difficult for her. Puck, Quinn, and Brittany decided that they would come out for the sentencing, though Brittany was told that she was not allowed to go to the sentencing by everyone else involved. They didn't want her stressing any more than she had to, seeing as how she was going to be around five months in to her pregnancy. If Paige's birthday wasn't going to be a couple of days following the court date, Rachel would have insisted that she not even come to town.

Santana had put her foot down where her parents were concerned. They had known about everything at Thanksgiving time, but seeing everything written out like that; seeing that Rachel had been battered and their own daughter had almost been killed by the man, well it was a lot to swallow for a second time. It had taken five days for Jacob to remove the story from his blog.

Thankfully the Christmas holiday served to distract the couple. Being together with Alice and Esteban and being able to watch as Paige excitedly tore through a mound of gifts was just the relief they all needed. Erin and Nomi went to spend the Holiday with Erin's mother so they were missed, but they still had plenty of joy in the home.

Paige had wanted to use the quarters she had commandeered to buy her mom a present, but Santana was able to convince her that the best present for her mom was to leave all of her money in the savings account that they had set up for her.

The little girl hadn't had this many gifts at once in her whole life. She had always been indulged but now she was getting presents from more than her grandfathers and her parents. She had what seemed like an army of people practically shoving presents her way; more than half via mail. Well, Rachel and Santana's gifts had been marked from Santa. They were again bombarded with calls and luckily they were all full of delightful conversation. Nobody brought up the impending sentencing. Even Shelby and Beth had called wishing them a Merry Christmas. Beth and Paige spent a good twenty minutes chattering about what they did that day. Shelby and Rachel had spent another half an hour doing the same. They were testing each other, which wasn't lost on either of them. It had been pleasant.

When New Year's came around, the little family stayed in to count down together. Paige had barely been able to stay awake during the events. Santana ended up twirling the small girl around the room in some offbeat dance, just to keep her awake long enough to make it to the countdown.

"Four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!" They all cheered in unison. Both women pecked Paige on the cheek, causing the girl to squeal and giggle before jumping up and shuffling to her bedroom.

Rachel took the opportunity to get her real kiss from her girlfriend which was readily received. The smaller woman grasping her Latina girlfriend by the hips, while the taller took hold of her shoulders. Oddly enough the moment wasn't completely ruined when they heard "Ew, that's icky," belt through the room. Paige was used to seeing the two give each other pecks on the lips, but they didn't kiss like that in front of her.

They broke apart chuckling. "Come on tiny tot. Let's get you tucked in."

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

It was the day before they had to speak in open court. The lawyer could see that her girlfriend was trying her hardest to act as if she was calm and collected, though she knew otherwise. There were just so many things going through both of their heads. Because she was a lawyer she knew what needed to be said. She knew that while a trial deals with facts and emotions, sentencing was more about emotion. Likability was a big factor. She was confident that Jimmy wasn't likeable in general, but he was also a ruthless manipulator with a few things on his side. Though she had never seen it, apparently he could be a real charmer. He also had a friend of his, who had not only co-stared with Rachel in "Westside Story" but had also introduced the couple, who would be testifying on his behalf. Add to the wheel chair thing. Santana was determined that he'd go away as long as possible, which was a part of the reason she clashed so much with the prosecutor. She kind of had that 'doctors make the worst patients' thing going on, only she was a lawyer making for a difficult witness. At least that's what ADA Marcy Weldon would say.

Santana shook her head, as if to clear it of her thoughts. She smiled over at Brittany who was sitting comfortably on her boyfriend's lap, while Paige rubbed her hands over the baby bump in fascination. "Tana, Mommy look," the girl squealed. "He's getting big."

"And he's going to get bigger," Brittany smiled down at the little brunette ball of energy.

"And then I can teach him how to swing and stuff."

Artie chuckled, "Not right away cutie, but as soon as he's old enough I'll remind you that it's your job to teach him."

The worry in Rachel's face disappeared as she heard her daughter excitedly list things she'd teach her little cousin once he was big enough. She was glad to see that Paige had taken to Artie pretty quickly.

"You alright?" The Latin woman whispered in her ear. Her girlfriend just smiled and nodded.

"…And then we can watch football with Abuelo Esteban and Grandaddy Leroy. I don't really like it that much but they make me laugh when they yell at the T.V." she giggled.

"What about Uncle Puck," Puckerman frowned. "I can yell at the T.V. too."

"Oh, and Uncle Puck too," she corrected. "But I never watched a football game with him. He played it though. So did my Granddaddy Leroy," Paige directed at Artie.

"Wow, tiny tot," Santana said with wide eyes. "You have a lot of plans."

"Mommy said it's good to plan."

"Of course she did," joked Puck.

"Can one of your plans be to go with us to the zoo?" Asked Brittany. "You were a lot of fun to go with."

"We were kind of fun to go with too," Erin said, mocking Puck.

Ignoring her aunt's comment, Paige went on to say, "As long as we don't go see the soth. They look at me weird."

"Soth?" This was Rachel.

"Sloth," Nomi corrected.

"Oh."

"You'll go see the lions and tigers but you don't like the sloths?" Quinn asked the little girl.

"Auntie Brittany sais lions and tigers are just big kitties. We just can't pet them because they don't like it."

"That's right. Just like Charity and Lord Tubbingtons the first, second, and third."

"I guess Auntie Brittany has a point," said Quinn as she made her way over to where Rachel and Santana had been sitting on the couch. She plopped herself down next to the Jewish woman. "Are you excited to spend the afternoon with her tomorrow?"

"Duh," the little girl answered. "We're gonna go to the movies and then we're going to go shopping for my birthday party."

"Thanks again for that," Santana said to her pregnant friend.

"Yeah, it will keep her occupied. The school **would** be having a teacher's conference tomorrow of all days.

Brittany was playing in the little girl's hair now. "It will be a great day for us to do some Britt-Paige bonding."

"And what am I?" Questioned Artie in mock disappointment.

"You're the guy that's going to pay for Britt-Paige time. You're also the guy that's going to follow us around all day," the blue eyed beauty chirped.

"I can think of worse things," he returned.

"Like sloths and cabbage," said the little girl in all seriousness.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

The next day was full of nerves. Rachel and Santana kissed Paige goodbye, leaving her with Brittany and Artie for the day. They were due in court a 9:30am and it was 8:30 when Marcy had pulled the couple along with Erin aside to give them all a pep talk. The red head was ecstatic because she was given permission to play the messages that Jimmy had left on Rachel's phone for the judge. Santana hated to admit it, but she was impressed. She had been worried that Marcy's attempt may not fly on the grounds that this wasn't a trial; guilt had already been established, this was merely the outcome. In fact, this case wasn't even about Jimmy's actions towered his former wife.

After their chat, the prosecutor went on to give the women time to pull themselves together in the few minutes they had left. Erin, Nomi, Quinn, and Puck were sitting in a couple of chairs contending with their own nerves. Puck had promised to try his hardest to keep himself in check as a condition of Rachel giving her consent for him to attend. Technically it was an open court situation. The public was allowed to attend, but if Rachel had truly didn't want him to be there, he would have followed her wishes.

Quinn was worried about him too. She knew how fiercely protective he could be, and seeing the man that hurt not just one, but two of his closest friends, along with the little girl her adored, well that was going to be tough on him. It was going to be hell on her as well. She'd been jarred out of her inner thoughts when a face she hadn't seen in person for years materialized a few yards away from her. Puck had apparently already noticed because when she turned to look at him, his eyes were glued to the brunette woman's form.

"What are you doing here?" they heard Rachel softly question.

"I wanted to support you," Shelby answered. "I read the blog and I just felt like I should be here for you."

Santana actually found herself warmed by the woman's actions, while Rachel's line of sight was pinned on her friends; more specifically the friends that made up the biology of her mother's child.

"She's with a friend of mine," Shelby said plainly for all to hear. "She doesn't know about this."

Neither Quinn nor Puck said a word. They were already in for an emotional day, neither wanted to add more to that if they could help it.

"I know this isn't the time for mother-daughter bonding, or to have some big moment but I realized something at Thanksgiving and the blog drove it all home," she whispered to her daughter, who was clutching onto her girlfriend's hand for dear life. "I may have missed so much of your life back then, but I had a chance to be there for all of the other stuff. I was too focused on what I lost to think about what I could have with you and as a result I just lost more time. Just because you were a teenager didn't mean you couldn't use a mother to lean on; maybe you still can."

"We can talk later," the smaller woman whispered back. "If you're going to be in there I need you to make sure you can handle it." There was a hint of a smile amongst all the worry that marred the former diva's face. Shelby took it as a good sign and nodded. Soon they were all filing into the courtroom.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Erin had been the first up. She had to recount the day she had come to pick Rachel up from her home in Boise to get her away from her abusive husband. Then she discussed how she had found Rachel and Paige in the apartment after Jimmy had left her friend suffering on the floor. Shelby was in tears by the time Erin was done testifying, whereas Puck and Quinn just seemed angry. They'd managed to stay quiet but their feelings were obvious. Nomi was a bit misty-eyed, though she'd heard the story and had been present for the Boise escapade. Though the case was about attempted murder towered Santana, the prosecution wanted to establish that Jimmy had a history of violence that was likely to continue.

Santana was next to speak. She spoke about the day the man had attacked her in her home. She'd managed to push out some tears for added affect as she sullenly mentioned how scared she was to lose her life, and then how afraid she had been for Rachel. The woman in question couldn't bring herself to look at her the whole time she was on the stand.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Message received June sixteenth 2022 at 3:54 PM: **"I tried to play nice, but apparently the only way I can get through to you is by making it hurt. I tried, you hear me? I tried but you wouldn't do what you were told. Just know that I'll kill you before I let you run off with some low life and my kid."**

When the voice mail messages were played, the tension in the room had been at its thickest. Quinn found herself ever more thankful that Brittany hadn't been there to hear the vile things the asshole had said to their friend. A part of her wished she hadn't heard them either. Nomi squeezed her fiancé's hand as she felt the tension in both of them. Puck bit the inside of his cheek, drawing blood. He didn't make a sound though. While Santana had heard them before, she found that her feelings after hearing them were just as strong as he first time. Shelby clutched onto her hand bag for all it was worth, in order to keep in her seat.

Rachel was suddenly very thankful that the pictures that had been taken of her after the 'incident' in the apartment were only viewed by Judge Baker. She didn't think any of them could handle seeing those photos.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"My daughter and I were coming home from the park," Rachel said shakily. "Erin Crowley was going to be picking us up to meet some other friends soon, so I was rushing to get in the building and get ready." She stopped for a few seconds to take some deep breaths, not making eye contact. They had talked about that. She was supposed to talk to the judge, but it had proven to be difficult. "I didn't see him coming. Out of nowhere I felt a knife pushing into my side and Jimmy was telling me not to make a sound. He told me to unlock the door to the apartment. I was scared out of my mind. He'd never pulled a knife on me before." She finally found Judge Baker's natural grey eyes. "When we got inside he told me that we were going. He said that I wasn't going to blow up our family to play house with some guy and his daughter. That's when I told Paige to go ito my bedroom and lock the door. I told her not to come out until I said to." Judge Baker nodded for her to go on. "Jimmy… he…he was yelling a bunch of stuff about me being a whore and a slut. When I told him that there was no guy, he called me a liar and that's when he started punching me. At some point I hit the floor and he was stomping on me. I ended up closing my eyes, trying to block it out. Then I felt the knife in my side again."

She was genuinely crying as well as all of her supporters. There was no covering it up. Santana wanted desperately to end the recap but she knew it had to be done. It was nearly over. She was sitting behind him, but she quietly wondered if Jimmy had had the decency to look the slightest bit ashamed.

All Shelby wanted to do was hold her child in her arms and promise that it would be okay. She wanted to tell her that she was here for her the way a mother should be. This was her daughter and she had been put through so much pain. The same baby she'd given birth to had gone through such a horrific experience and she hadn't had a mother to help her through it. Shelby knew right then that if Rachel were to let her, she was going to be the mother Rachel deserved. She was going to be a grandmother to Paige, and Rachel and Beth could bond as sisters.

"It had never been that bad before. I'm so scared that if he gets a chance, he'll find a way to hurt us again, worse if possible. He may be stuck in that chair, but my ex is a resourceful man. He finds ways to do the impossible. My daughter is constantly worried that her daddy is going to hurt her mommy. No five-year-old should have those kinds of worries." Rachel took one last deep breath. "My little girl, the same little girl that he is supposed to love and protect; she saw me broken, bleeding, and bruised because of him. I need to be able to tell her that we are safe, and that there is no way her father is going to get to us again. I **need** to make sure she feels safe."

It was now the defense's chance. Dennis was now on the stand to talk about what a good man his buddy had once been.

"He was a good guy. Jimmy always wanted great things and when he saw Rachel, he figured she was a great lady. I warned him that she was high maintenance with a type A personality and he said that she was just the kind of woman for him." The pail man smoothed out his jacket and slightly tossed his black hair. "He was head over heels for that woman. In fact he stayed with her after she told him that she wasn't in love with him. She told him that she was still in love with someone else and he stayed. That's when he started to unravel," he said accusingly. "He'd come to me all upset over that woman. He was always worried that she was going to leave him for this other man. Who wouldn't if their girlfriend told them that? So she got pregnant and being the standup guy that he was, he married her. He took care of her. He had never been violent before her. She drove him crazy in ways nobody else could. Can you imagine what it must have been like for him? He was always trying to be the man she wanted but she was always living in the past. Then he finds out that she really did go to the person she loved more than him and it turns out to be a woman. She messed with his head for so long he just couldn't stop himself anymore. But now he accepts things. He isn't a threat and he won't be when he gets out."

"How can anyone defend that piece of garbage?" Quinn hissed out quietly under her breath.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Surprisingly Jimmy chose to speak last minute. I He was wheeled over to the podium, a pathetic saddened look featured on his face. His big stature managed to look almost frail as he spoke.

"When I went to that house, I just wanted to talk. I wanted to apologize for what I'd done and try to explain myself." Santana stiffened at the words she knew were lies spilling from the man's lips. Rachel lifted the Latina's hand to her lips and gently kissed her knuckles. "I knew they wouldn't have let me in so I had to break in. I admit that part of me was hoping that my wife would come back to me. She and my daughter were everything to me and then she just up and left me." Tears were glistening in his eyes, almost convincingly. "Then Miss Lopez tells me that it's her that my wife has always wanted and that she had her. All I could think of in that moment was that my wife really had left me to be with the ex she always rubbed in my face; a woman no less. I just snapped. Your honor, she took my family from me, and then she took my legs. Please don't take the rest of my life."

"You're lucky you even get to breathe," Puck mumbled a little too loudly. The judge gave the Jewish man a pointed look, but didn't verbally reprimand him. Rachel patted his hand and he relaxed slightly.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"Forty-five years with possible parole in forty. I can live with that," Rachel said as they crowded around the den at the house. She'd said it more for Brittany and Artie's Benefit. Paige was napping at the moment.

"The maximum was eighty," Puck seethed. "He sheds a few tears and the judge gives him forty damn years!"

"It's a joke," Quinn said angrily.

"A completely screwed up one," added Erin.

"I can't even believe it." This was Nomi.

Brittany frowned, obviously upset, while Artie rubbed her lower back to sooth her.

Shelby had yet to speak, feeling a bit like an outsider to the situation. She'd been invited back to the house after the sentence had been handed down, but she hadn't been there for her daughter the way the others had been.

"Well we can't change it so we have to deal with it," Santana said, trying to convince herself more than anything.

"Okay listen up," Rachel spoke loudly over her friends. "I love you all. This part of our lives really sucked but it's over now." She ran her eyes over the group of people she'd come to rely in different ways. "I'm not saying we just forget it. I couldn't no matter how much I wish I could, however, we are moving on from this. We have at least forty years before we have to deal with him," she tried to joke. "For now, I want to focus on Paige's birthday. I want to spend time with my gorgeous girlfriend." She looked over at the Latina lawyer then looked to Erin and Nomi. "Help plan Erin and Nomi's wedding." Now she gazed at Brittany's small round belly, "Get ready to be the best aunt ever for the little one that's coming." She rolled her eyes at Puck with a giggle. "I want to complain about Noah and no doubt Lauren trying to corrupt my little girl." Now she set her sight on Shelby. "I hope to make some more reconnections with people I didn't think I had a chance to know the way I wanted to." Shelby smile took up her whole face. "Damn it I want everything and I can't have that if I let that man take over my every thought. I'm finally so happy; I refuse to be hurt over him anymore. I suggest you don't give him any power over you either."

"Well," Santana began, "You heard the lady. Who's up for a glass of wine? Other than the pretty blonde-haired blue-eyed chick with the little melon under her shirt that is."

TBC…..


	14. We've Come a Long Way Baby

**I still don't own Glee. If I did there would be a lot of changes.**

**Chapter Summary: **Paige's birthday party and some much needed conversation.

Chapter fourteen- We've Come a Long Way Baby

The blonde woman with hazel eyes sighed with accomplishment as she finished placing the last of the steamers in the doorway of the room her friends had commandeered for Paige's birthday party. She stepped further into the room and grinned to herself as she looked at the completed set up. There were two table's set up in the spacious area, one for the kids and the other for adults.

Santana had no doubt been the driving force of the location. Zippy's Island was a great place to not only keep children occupied, but adults as well. The place seemed like it had some of everything for all ages. There was everything from videogames, to a pool full of plastic balls, to bowling, to bumper cars and everything in between. The place even had a coffee shop, a bar for adult libations, and two restaurants including a pizzeria.

"You're sort of great at this stuff, you know?" Rachel airily stated, jolting the other woman out of her inner thoughts.

"Yeah well, it's fun practice for when I make that leap into parenthood," Quinn chuckled.

"You'll be wonderful."

"Thanks." After about forty-five seconds of quiet, "So Shelby, Puck, and I had breakfast this morning."

"I was aware," said the smaller woman. "How'd that go?"

"It went pretty well. She wants us to get to know Beth a little bit. She knows that she's adopted and to be expected she has some questions. I think Shelby's trying to keep Beth from going through some of the same things you went through." Quinn said sympathetically. "We're going to start with some internet correspondence after Puck and I make it back to our home tomorrow."

"She told me. I was just wondering how you felt about it. Noah seems very excited," Rachel grinned.

"I'm a little nervous about it," Quinn said honestly. "I mean, I want to know her but I'm afraid that she'll resent me for giving her away."

"I doubt she will, Quinn. The girl is pretty smart and she's got a lot of love in her. You should have seen how she went out of her way to make Paige feel like everything she had to say mattered," the small brunette thought back to the way the blonde girl had let her daughter ramble on and on and was able to keep up with it all. "Not many kids her age can be that sweet with a jabbering five-year-old."

"Shelby's doing a really good job with her."

"She is," the Rachel confirmed. "And even if Beth does resent you, both you and Shelby can explain things to her. Shelby's circumstances were different, but she's been there."

"I guess I never really thought about that part. Speaking of, how are you with all of this?"

"I was a bit skeptical at first." She began. "But I can tell she's really trying. As a matter of fact, she went out of her way to spend time with Paige earlier before she had to catch her flight. She gave her a birthday present but told her not to open it until she opened the rest." The former diva's eyes gleamed with hope. "Santana and I even talked about explaining who Shelby and Beth are to Paige once you all work something out. I was surprised that she was the one who brought it up."

"One big happy family," the hazel eyed woman said sweetly.

"I like that."

Quinn's laughter began to fill the near empty room, causing the other woman to knit her eyebrows together. "What's so funny?"

"Well," said Quinn. "Your adoptive sister is mine and Puckerman's biological daughter, who is Paige's aunt, who calls me and Puck her aunt and uncle." Quinn could see the moment that Rachel got hit over the head with the realization just before she began to join in the laughter. "Now you get it?"

"Oh wow. We have one crazy family tree going on here."

"Yeah, we do."

Rachel's giggle fit died down into a comfortable sigh. "We've come a long way, you and I."

"We really have," replied the taller woman. "Who would have guessed that we'd be here celebrating together back when we were both after that boy…..What's his name?"

"I do believe it was….hmmmm," she playfully rubbed her chin, pretending to strain for the answer. "Finn was it?"

Quinn laughed yet again before saying seriously, "You wanted to be friends even back then. I was just too stubborn, too into myself, too obsessed with popularity to see it. I mean, even before the whole attempt to steal my boyfriend and spilling my baby secret."

"To be honest, with him, it was more about his singing talents when I first started having feelings for him. Then when I found out he was with you, a lot of my obsession over getting him was about besting the great Quinn Fabray; showing that I could take something from this person that I thought had everything. If I had bothered to look a little deeper, I would have seen that you were just as insecure as I was." She hadn't even admitted that to Santana.

"I wouldn't have let you. I didn't let anyone see me like that. The way I treated you…I don't blame you for wanting to bring me down a few pegs."

"I did love him by the time we got together the first time, but in the beginning I wanted what I wanted and I didn't care who it hurt until it was too late. You were going through your own personal hell and I used that against you."

"I would have done the same in your shoes….probably worse. Can we just chalk all that up to being stupid teenagers?" Quinn asked with half smile. "Because I kind of love you and if you or San wouldn't have made it I…."

"I think we can manage that," the mother interrupted before the blonde could finish. She took the moment to envelope the woman in a hug. "I kind of love you too."

"Okay, enough of this mushy crap," the insurance adjuster said as she released herself from the much appreciated embrace. She then quickly wiped away a stray tear from her cheek. "How long before Santana gets here with the birthday girl?"

Rachel took a glance at her watch. "About ten minutes. The rest of the kids should be here in about half an hour. Britt, Artie, and Noah are on present duty. Nomi and Erin should have been here over half an hour ago with the cake. "

"Nomi and Erin are here now," the tall lanky piano teacher huffed.

"Oh great the cake!" Rachel stated excitedly pointing to the spot on the children's table she wanted it placed. The cake had a picture of a white unicorn flying up a rainbow trail. It read 'Happy sixth Birthday Paige' in pink candy coated script. Rachel had a feeling it was Brittany that put the idea in her daughter's head, but she though it was a pretty cute concept as well.

"Seriously Ray? That bakery almost ended up dealing with the wrath of Santana," Erin said grumpily. "I almost called her so she could chew them out."

"What crawled up your ass?" Quinn joked.

Before her fiancé could answer the blonde in a less than polite manner, Nomi went into an explanation. "We had a rough morning. The power must have gone off for a while last night because when I woke up our alarm clock was blinking 12:00am and when I checked my cell it was already 10:47. Then I went to the kitchen to make some coffee and unpleasantly discovered that the tenants in the apartment above us had put too much crap down their sink and in turn, every time they turned on the water, all that nasty shit came up from our drain and flooded all over the floor. So we got to deal with that." She rolled her eyes at the memory. "By the time we got to the bakery they couldn't find the cake. We spent almost an hour freaking out and worrying about freaking you out because the bakery swore they didn't have an order in your name. We tried our names, Santana's, Brittany's….Quinn's. Finally they realized that they'd miss labeled it."

"S would have raised hell," Quinn mused out loud.

"And then some," Rachel added. "Aw, honey I'm so sorry," she said genuinely. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well it's a good thing I love your offspring," Erin pouted.

"And she still hasn't had any coffee. You know how she gets," Nomi looked to the small brunette.

"Come on," Rachel placated and grabbed hold of her friend's now empty hands. "I'll get you both the biggest coffees the coffee shop has to offer."

"Thanks Ray, but I think it'll be better if I get grumpy to her coffee before she converses further with anyone," Nomi warned.

"At least let me buy it for you."

"You can buy us a couple of beers later," the Korean woman replied.

"Alright then," she smiled hesitantly as the couple left the room, Erin still in a tither.

Not two minutes later Brittany walked in with Artie being wheeled in by Puck behind her.

"What the hell is up Erin's ass?" Puck probed. Quinn snorted at the fact that she'd asked that very question. "She was giving me bitch face and mumbling stuff about dumb bakeries and shitty plumbing."

"They've had a…difficult morning," Rachel answered tentatively. "She'll be alright once she gets some coffee in her. She tends to be impossible until she gets a cup."

"Then I hope that's what she's about to do," the bald man answered back.

"Thankfully yes," Quinn chuckled.

Brittany breezed over to get a look at the cake. "Oh it's so pretty. Come look Artie."

Her boyfriend wheeled himself over to where the baked goodness was located. "It's perfect Britt."

The tall pregnant woman turned to Rachel animatedly. "You made sure to make it strawberry flavored on the inside with whipped cream frosting, right Rach? Paigey said that's how she wanted the inside."

"I sure did, Britt. If it isn't I'm sending Santana and Quinn down there, and I'll bet after having to contend with Erin this morning, they wouldn't stand a chance," said Rachel.

"Yeah, they better hope they got it right," Brittany said plainly.

"Hey what's up with…"Santana began.

"Bad morning," Brittany chirped and Puck groaned.

"With no coffee," Rachel added.

"What are you talking about?" Asked the confused Latina.

"Weren't you about to ask what has Erin's attitude all screwy?" Questioned Quinn.

"She seems fine to me. Tiny tot's out there talking her ear off while she and Nomi suck down a couple of huge cups of java. I just wanted to know why Puck was supposed to bring all of the gifts that we had at the house and I can't seem to see them anywhere in here," The lawyer looked at him pointedly.

"Hey, you sent me with a pregnant lady and no offence to Artie, but he can't exactly assist much," Puck defended. "I could use some help getting it all out of the rental van."

"Fine you pansy," Santana joked. "Auntie Tana will help you out."

"After she gives her girlfriend a kiss," Rachel piped up.

"Well, yeah," Smiled the Latin woman as she came closer to her lady. "Hi babe." She sealed their lips, ignoring the 'awws' from Brittany and Artie, the wolf whistle from Puck, and the false gagging from Quinn. "As much as I like the audience, if we keep this up we may end up traumatizing a group of five and six-year-olds. "

Rachel looked a little disappointed, but knew her girlfriend was right. "Fine," she pouted a pout that had been greatly missed throughout the years. "Go help Puck."

"That's no faire," Santana laughed.

"I just wanted to see if it still worked, now off with you and the jester!" She flailed her arms wildly and pecked her girlfriend on the cheek, sending them on their way.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Puck and Santana approached the blue van nearly in silence. The whole walk had been done in the same state. She looked over to the man who was uncharacteristically chewing on his thumbnail in deep thought.

"Something on your mind?" Santana asked raising her brow.

"I wanna talk to you, but like not in our usual 'who can one up the other' BS we usually do. No banter. No lewd comments. Just you and me having a serious conversation with feelings and shit."

Santana looked at the man and could see that he meant what he was saying. She chose to fight against all the instincts she'd developed over the years involving Puck, and mentally prepared to have a real conversation with him that didn't come about due to emergency, fear, or upset. "You take the driver's seat; I'll take the passenger's side." Puck followed the suggestion and the attorney settled into her seat before slamming the van door. "You have the floor."

"First I want to say I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" She asked confused.

"Back in high school, I didn't ever really take you as the serious dating type. I saw you like I was pre-Lauran. Like a sex shark that could never be like a solid girlfriend. When you got with Rachel, I honestly thought you would get occupied elsewhere and then my girl would end up getting hurt. But you didn't. I could see that you really cared about her. When the two of you finally did breakup I knew it wasn't because you wanted to hurt her or anything. I saw how it ate you up inside to let her go." She'd never heard him talk like this. Not to her anyway. She'd walked in on him having deep conversations with her girlfriend, but she was never on the receiving end.

"It really did. I hated having to be apart from her," she said almost meekly. "I have another chance and I won't lose it this time."

"I know," Puck smiled almost shyly. "Now have to thank you for taking care of her…her and Paige. I worry about her. I know that it's kind of hypocritical because I abandoned her to be a douche back in the day, but I worry about her more than I worry about anybody. I have for a long time, even when we weren't talking regularly. In school I used to worry that all that focus on being a star was gonna turn her into a victim of sleazy showbiz types that used their names to turn young talented girls out or something." The woman looked at him a little disturbed by his thinking. "Don't get me wrong, I knew that wasn't what she was about, but whenever she felt alone or like she was losing something, her ambition would always ramp up to borderline on crazy. People didn't think I noticed anything past my own shit but I always kept an eye on her. After I saw what she was willing to do to Sunshine, I couldn't help but be scared for her. That's why it pissed me off so much. If she was willing to go that far to be on top in glee, what would she do in the real world when she had major competition?"

"I guess I can see your reasoning."

"Yeah except rather than showing her I was there for her, I went on like I had been for so long at that point. At any rate, it turns out I was worried about the wrong thing because what happened to her had nothing to do with being a star." The man sucked in a hard breath in order to hamper the anger he would no doubt always hold to a certain extent. "But somehow, you make her release all of those fucked up feelings and she's actually happy and content. I had no doubt she can be happy, or at least look happy but content? Rachel has never **lingered** in contentment. But here she is content in domesticity. She still has some old traits. Loves her Broadway and still itches to get into some kind of theater, but she isn't losing her mind about it. She's genuinely happy where she is. Do you realize how big that is?"

The raven-haired woman looked at the man before her. He truly had graduated from an overly sexed boy that at times could be a real asshole, to a man who was wiser than she ever gave him credit for. This was the man Rachel saw and knew. This was Noah. "I'll support her in whatever she wants to do. I'll be by her side. We'll take care of each other."

"I believe you."

And like that, Santana was briefly taken back to a time when she heard those very words purge from a little irritating brunette whom she'd only paid enough attention to when it came to cutting her down. A girl who had no reason to believe in her, however, for some reason did anyway. At the time the cheerleader had no intention of ever acknowledging having been defended by the hobbit of McKinley, it took her over a year to even admit that it meant something to herself. They'd come a long way between then and now. If she could help it she was going to make sure that both of her girls would always have a reason to believe in her.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"…..Happy Birthday dear Paige. Happy birthday to you."

An hour and a half later the birthday room was abuzz with the ramblings of twelve five and six-year olds along with sixteen adults. Most of the adults had opted to buy their own meals so they wouldn't have to eat pizza, while the kids, Puck, Santana, and Brittany had all indulged in pizza and punch and were now awaiting the sugary confection that sat ablaze in front of the birthday girl.

"Make a wish," bubbled Brittany. Paige closed her eyes and blew out her multi-colored candles.

"Alright," Puck simi-hollered over the crowd. "Cake time!"

Rachel giggled at her friend's enthusiasm, while Santana went about slicing the cake, smirking to herself. (The cake was in fact made to perfection, thereby saving 'Cake Time' from a verbal tongue lashing from two former Cheerios.) This was the first big birthday Paige had had. In the past she'd celebrated it with maybe a friend or two Rachel, and sometimes Jimmy, though it had always been a quiet affair. The girl was in awe of how many people were there for her.

Cake had been handed out to all, and they were now contending with Paige's class mates bouncing from sugar highs and itching to go play again once the presents were over and done with. Paige had already gotten her new bike and playhouse that morning. Puck had put them together for Santana and Rachel the night before. The little girl had been gushing about them most of the day. It had been the gifts that had been given by all the grandparents, aunts, and her uncles Puck and Artie that had taken up the back of the van.

Alice and Esteban had sent a deluxe science kit; the Berry grandfathers, an IPod loaded with kid friendly music, and Shelby had given the girl a keyboard and an instructional DVD (Erin promised to help her). Artie and Brittany got the girl animatronic pets that moved and made noise. The dog actually followed a few basic commands and the duck (Yes the duck) was water proofed and actually quacked the "rubber ducky" song from Sesame Street when it did get wet. Quinn had felt it her duty to buy out the little girl's section of Ross. Erin and Nomi gave Paige her first camera. Puck and Lauren had gotten Paige roller skates that turned into roller blades, along with a helmet, elbow and kneepads. They hall had the Harley Davidson emblem on them.

After the remaining gifts had been opened, all the kids scampered out of the room to continue on with their play. As usual Jack, Leanne, and Paige all leaned toward each other; only they had a new addition to their little group. Josh, yes the little hellion nemesis of the young Miss Paige was following the group of girls around like crazy. Rachel, Brittany, Nomi, and Erin all thought it was kind of cute. Santana, Puck, and Quinn on the other hand, had to remind themselves that he was just a six year-old boy and not some predatory hormone riddled teenaged boy. It didn't do much for Puck though; he also reminded himself that he too had once been a six-year-old boy. But for now, Paige was safe in her childhood.

The adults scattered to play pool and bowl, some grabbing a beer, which as agreed, Rachel provided to her friends as a thanks for all the help with the party. She got Brittany a root beer float. The tall blonde and Artie opted to play videogames.

The lawyer and the small short brunette kept an eye on the mini trio and Josh while they played among the colorful plastic balls in the fun center. "Look at her San," said Rachel. "Our kid is so happy." Santana found herself blushing at her lover's words. The Jewish woman squinted, not quite sure what sent her girlfriend in to full on blush mode. "What's the blushing about? I haven't begun to do anything to earn that blush today. I planned that for later."

"That's the first time I've heard you refer to her as ours."

"Oh that," the former diva feigned surprised.

"Umhmm, that."

"I don't know it just seems right. It's like we're meant to be this way. Like everything we've gone through was meant to put us right here." Rachel was looking at her with all the love she could show without being inappropriate in their current environment. "Was it too soon? I should have talked to you about it instead of assuming an…"

Santana placed a kiss on her girlfriend's forehead before saying, "I already think of her like that, Estrella. I've actually called her that a couple of times and didn't realize I'd said it until later. I love her and anyone that questions that will have to deal with one pissed off Latina."

"And one pissed off Jew."

They both broke into laughter.

"Tana look out," Paige shrieked and pointed behind her.

The woman looked first to the girl and then swung around to the feel of water shooting at her blouse. He'd gotten a hold of a water pistol and deemed it fit to go after her. He was a man, but he could still be a big kid. "Noah Puckerman, I swear if you squirt me with that thing again you will never be able to spawn a litter with Lauren," she hissed just loud enough for the three adults to hear.

"Aw you sold me out. I thought you were my mini Jewish princess?" Puck foe whined at Paige.

The kids giggled at his antics and his nickname. "I am, but I'm Tana's tiny tot. She takes care of me and mommy, and we take care of her."

"I love you little girl but I need Brittany to go on and spit the little dude out so I can have some guy loyalty," he joked.

"Please, like any child of Brittany's isn't going to have my back," scoffed Santana.

"I have testosterone on my side," he assured.

"Noah, how many people do you know that are close to Britt, male or female, that can deny her?" Puck took a few moments to think about it. "And do you really see her taking up for team Puck over team Santana?" A look of defeat crossed hi features. "Exactly." When she saw him furrow his brow she said, "Come here," and gave her friend a tight hug. "We love you though, right Paigey?" She said loudly.

"Right," was yelled back.

"I actually like you quite a bit too," added the lawyer a little quieter. "But the threat of castration still stands."

"And why are we castrating Mr. Puckerman," asked Erin coming from behind the man.

Santana simply displayed her wet top. "Oh. You've known her for how much longer than I have and you didn't know better?"

"He knew better, he just didn't care," chuckled Quinn as she approached the forming group. "Nomi and I tried to warn him in case he forgot what you're capable of," she said to her best friend.

"Yet you bitches didn't warn me," she said in a hushed tone as not to let little ears hear her.

"We were in a heated game of pool. One that I lost so Puck go grab a pool cue if you're still playing winner," answered the former head Cheerio.

"I'm definitely in," he said, already moving for the pool tables on the other side of the building.

"Good luck Noah," Rachel yelled from behind. Nomi was a pool shark in her own right and Noah was about to find that out.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Technically the party had been over by five, but they all stayed for a few hours longer. After they'd finally decided to call it a night, everyone was pretty much exhausted from such a busy Saturday. Brittany had fallen asleep in the car ride back to the house. Puck, Quinn and Santana unloaded the gifts from the van and Artie and Brittany took up the guest room. Everyone pretty much fell into bed or on a couch after that.

Paige was nestled in the warmth of her bed. Her eyes were sleepy, but she was still beaming from ear to ear over the events of the day. The Latin beauty and her companion sat on either side of the girl. Santana had just finished reading the first chapter of Dinosaurs Before Dark, the first installment of the 'Magic Tree House books.' Jack had given her both the box sets.

"Alright, tiny tot, I can tell that you are fighting sleep like a ninja."

"I had a lot of fun today," the child said, not denying that she was sleepy. "Thank you Mommy." She gave her mother a hug and kiss to the cheek. "Thank you Tana," she repeated her actions. "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," Rachel said with pure adulation.

"I love you like crazy, kid," said Santana as she poked at Paige's nose.

"I'm glad Shelby came to visit like all the Aunties and Uncle Noah and Uncle Artie, but I wish Beth could have come."

"I know baby, but she had school," her mother answered.

"Will they come and visit again?"

"I hope so."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, sleepy head?"

"Is Shelby your mommy too?"

Rachel took a moment to collect herself. Her daughter had a way of being blunt about things, the same way she could be, or had been in the past. It was refreshing and unnerving all at once.

"What makes you ask that?"

"She looks like us but older," the child said as though it was an obvious assumption. Santana placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder hoping to keep her steady.

"Well, you know how you came from my tummy?" Paige nodded quickly. "I came from Shelby's. I was kind of like a gift from her to Granddaddy Leroy and Granddad Hiram because only women can hold babies in their tummies."

"Oh," Their little girl still seemed a bit confused so Rachel decided it was time to lay out the whole messy family dynamic. It was either going to clear things up, or further confused the girl.

"Have you noticed that Beth looks a bit different from Shelby?"

"Beth's hair is yellow."

"Yeah," both women let out a light giggle. "When Shelby was ready to have her own baby, the doctor told her she wasn't going to be able to, so Auntie Quinn and uncle Noah gave her a present like she had given your granddad and granddaddy."

"So, does Shelby get to keep Beth forever?"

"Until she grows up, but she'll always be her mommy, even if Beth loves Auntie Quinn and Uncle Puck too," Rachel tried to explain.

"Tana?"

"Yes sweetie?" Asked the woman who had settled into listening to the verbal volley between mother and daughter.

"Do we get to keep **you** forever?"

Santana thought her heart could truly burst with the swelling she swore she could feel in it. She grabbed hold of her little girl, the child she knew she'd do anything for. "Forever and ever and always and a day." Rachel watched her girlfriend and Paige feeling similar emotions the other woman was feeling.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

"So," Rachel began as she fiddled with her lover's fingers from her side of the bed. "Forever and ever and always, huh?"

"That is the plan." Santana kissed Rachel on the lips hotly. Their tongues began to glide rhythmically between the two sets of parted lips. All the questions and thoughts they'd danced around, or were too afraid to ask had all seemed to be answered and resolved in that one statement. Once releasing one another they rested their foreheads together the way they did almost nightly.

"Santana Lopez, I do believe I've turned you into a planner."

"You did that a long time ago. You got me ready for law school."

"I tried to spread my infinite wisdom," the voice instructor smiled wide before parting from the Latina and turning of the light on the night stand. Santana chose to do the same with the light on her side.

They curled into each other, finding comfort in the silence between them until a few minutes later when the smaller brunette heard a quiet."

"Rach?"

"Yeah babe?"

"And a day. You forgot to add the day after always."

"And a day, and maybe more," she said before drifting off to sleep.

_**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**_

_But wait there's more….An epilogue to come my lovelies. _

_Thank you so much to all of you that have been sticking this story out with me. All of the Reviews, Alert and Favorites have sufficiently stroked my ego and I love you for it. _

_For those of you that read "When a Berry and Cheerios Collide", I'm working on a couple of those at the same time, focusing on some one on one time between the girls. So keep an eye out. I am also going to start another fic in the near future but I need to get a few chapters of it down before I start posting it. I've yet to commit to a pairing though so it may be Faberry and it may be Pezberry. _


	15. EpilogueThis is Our Life

Epilogue- This is Our Life

**A/N: Thank you all for all of the support. Keep a look out for updated fic and new fic that I'll be posting. I wouldn't be appose to some parting reviews. You all rock for keeping up with this and encouraging me. **

**Chapter Summary: **Where are they now?

Puckerman leaned back into the green plastic chair in the back yard of Rachel's childhood home. He watched with a silly grin as she, Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, Brittany, and his wife jovially exchanged words just beyond the sliding glass door. They'd all agreed to meet up in Lima at the beginning of the summer to catch up with each other's lives. "Uh oh, the hens are clucking," Santana jested, plopping down in the identical chair next to him. "Should we break it up?"

"Nah, let 'em cluck," he chuckled back.

"Beer?" She presented the gold can with a smirk.

"You read my mind, Lopez." The Jewish man took the proffered can and bent the tab back before taking in a greedy gulp. "Good stuff."

"The only kind I drink," she returned. "Cheers," she lifted up her drink and pretended to clink it with Puck's then took a sip of her own.

"Cheers." The man parroted.

"So how is the proud Papa?"

"Zach's amazing," he said in awe, as he thought of his three-month-old son. "He brought the Mama bear out in wifey full force. She's been calling my mom every half hour to get updates."

"Yeah, well motherhood can do that to a person. My not so tiny tot had me from day one," she giggled. "Then when we got Payton, I lost what little resolve I had left in me." Santana looked over to where all the kids were playing with Sam, Mike, and James. She watched as her now thirteen-year-old daughter hoisted her four-year-old sister up on her back and spun around as they both laughed heartily. "Tiny tot, you be careful with Little P," she yelled.

"I will, Mama," the girl yelled back.

It's fun, Mama," said the little girl from her sister's back.

"I'll bet it is," replied Santana.

Payton Sierra Lopez was nothing short of a miracle, at least that's what Rachel would tell anyone that asked. Santana was inclined to agree. The women had been married for a year and a half and had yet to discuss adding to their family. They'd just finalized the adoption papers for Paige so the little family was simply enjoying themselves as a legal family unit.

It was one of her colleagues' clients that had given birth to their youngest pride and joy. The young woman had sought counsel when she was arrested for her part in an armed robbery that had taken place at a liquor store before she had known she was pregnant. The father of her child had ended up shooting the clerk, who died instantly and then he was subsequently killed by a bullet from a police officer soon after. Because of her part in it all, she was on the hook for the clerk's death. When she realized that she was going to prison, for a long time, whether she took a deal or not, she'd begged her lawyer to find good parents for her baby, because she had no family and had never heard anything good about the baby's father's family. In the end she couldn't afford the fees but the lawyer took her case on for free.

Santana's colleague had requested that Santana take temporary custody of the baby once she was born in order to keep her out of the foster care system, until they could make arrangements for her. She'd been hesitant but her wife was excited to help. The little girl's mother had named her Payton Sierra and the Jewish woman took it as a sign that she was meant to be theirs. It didn't help that Paige was immediately attached to the wiggly little thing, or that Santana was kind of putty in the newborn's chubby little hands. So after cutting through a lot of red tape, they were eventually cleared to adopt the little Dominican baby girl.

Soon the other women came filing through the glass door; the last of which was Quinn, who waddled with her ever extending belly. She was six months pregnant with twin boys and was absolutely glowing. Upon seeing his wife, James hurried over to embrace her.

"Come sit hun," the he whispered into her ear before pulling up a seat for her.

"J, I'm not an invalid," his wife chided.

"No but my boys are a lot of luggage to carry around," he chuckled in response. "Ian and Liam have been wreaking havoc on your back these days."

She went to say something when she heard, "Sit it down already Prego. Quit being stubborn just for the sake of being stubborn."

"One; you're one to talk and two; How is it that you never call any of the others names when they're pregnant, yet you still hold on to that little nick name for me?"

"Because it bothers you the most."

"Be nice, San," Rachel chided.

"Yeah, you'll upset the babies," added Brittany.

Santana rolled her eyes. She was getting the one two punch from the only two adults that she couldn't seem to deny. "Fine, fine, I was just joking. Please sit down oh beautiful and pregnant one."

"That's more like it," Quinn giggled, taking her seat.

"Thanks, ladies," James smiled lazily to his two supporters.

The Jewish woman nodded and went to sit on her wife's lap. She felt a little bad about reprimanding her in front of their friends so she decided to play up to her friendlier nature by draping her arms over her lover's shoulders and kissed her on the cheek.

"Girls, there will be none of that," joked Mercedes.

"But they're so cute," said Brittany and Tina simultaneously.

"I could do without that cute," Lauren smirked.

"Here, here," added Quinn.

"Aw babe, we can be cute if you want," stated Puck in an overly sweet tone.

"No," Santana finally said, shaking herself out of her Rachel induced haze. "None of us want to see that."

"Shut up, Lopez," she returned with mock anger. "Count yourself lucky I've been a lot," she grimaced before ending with, "…..nicer since I had the kid."

Before her wife could add anything snarky, Rachel broke in by saying, "And we very much appreciate it Lauren."

"No problem, short stack."

By now everyone had found a seat. They had become consumed with idle chatter until a loud, "The party can start now, the fabulous mister Hummel has arrived and I come baring gifts." He'd come through the back yard gate, shopping bags in hand.

"Kurt," Rachel shrieked, jumping from her partner's lap.

"My boy, Kurt" Mercedes said at the same time, as she abandoned her own seat to get to her best friend.

"Divas," he greeted them both with a hug, still carrying his bags.

After witnessing his brother's arrival, Finn allowed himself to leave the grill, with Matt following suit, and shuffled over to him. Mike and Sam detached themselves from the kids to do the same.

"Hey, bro," Finn laughed as he watched his friends embraced his stepbrother.

"Hey Finn," the falsetto, replied as the grip on him began to slacken.

All the adults greeted him and soon the children followed.

"Uncle Kurt!"

"There's my godson," he chirped as a nine-year-old Sammie fought his way through the crowed to get to him, followed by Madelyn, Finn's seven-year-old from his second failed marriage. "And, oh my goodness is that my Maddy-bear?" They both went to hug him and the other children did the same.

After the on-slot subsided, the grownups all settled in with each other, though Finn and Matt went back to barbequing. They were being joined by a six-year-old blonde-haired blue-eyed Brett. (Brittany and Artie's little boy.)

"So you came with gifts?" the small brunette woman asked in her sickeningly sweet, 'I'm about to get my way' voice.

"Aw, yes," he stated.

She smiled wide. "So what'd ya bring me?"

"I didn't say they who they were for."

Rachel knitted her brows and pouted. Both Kurt and Santana laughed at her former teenaged self seeping through.

"But of course I did bring you something." She beamed again excitedly as if she were one of her children. She reached for one of the bags. "Alas, the things in these bags are clothes for the children, however…." he reached into his inner pocket and retrieved a slew of envelopes. "Fashion week was very good to me this year. I made some major connections and was able to acquire vouchers to some top boutiques. I added some of my own as well."

Rachel again threw herself at Kurt and Brittany and Tina did the same. The other women verbalized their thanks from their seats.

"Marco was a lot of help getting them as well. He would come with me, but we have an order to fill that he won't trust anyone else with." His eyes got a gleam in them when he added, "I can't divulge who it's for just yet, but let's just say that one of Hollywood's darlings will be sporting three exquisite garments of ours on her wedding day," in a sing-song voice. All the ladies minus Lauren showed that they were impressed.

"Tell Marco that as soon as I can fit into my close again, I'm so making a shopping trip to New York… or maybe when the twins get a bit older." Quinn smiled.

"You can also go through internet correspondence and send in your measurements," said Kurt.

"Oh, no. I'm going to need that trip," she said cheerily.

"We can make ladies trip of it. Leave all the men at home," stated Tina.

"No fair, San and Rach don't have a man to leave at home," said Brittany.

"So, either we get to watch all that lovey-dovey crap, or listen to them argue, of course unless we get to deal with both intermittedly," Quinn smirked.

"If I'm lucky it'll be the last one," said Santana. "The make up sex is mind blowing."

"Don't one of you make a comment to that," Rachel demanded. "Santana, I told you that not everyone is as interested our sex life."

"I am," Brittany admitted.

"And what does Artie have to say about that?" This was Mike, who had an arm slung around Tina. Tina had moved back to the states a few years prior after her relationship fizzled out. She and Mike met up in L.A., where he was working as a choreographer, and decided to try again. They'd been recently engaged.

The tall blonde shrugged, "He said he doesn't mind as long as I just want to know. He's just against me trying to join."

"Where is Artie, anyway?" Asked Mercedes.

"His dad's having one of his bad days." Artie's mother had passed on a few months earlier. Things were hard on his father and Artie was afraid to leave him alone for too long. The man was soon to move to Cincinnati to be closer to his son, daughter-in-law, and grandson, though he insisted on living in his own apartment when he did.

Rather than make a big deal of it, Santana threw in "Well you know my girl's tight lipped but you can always count on Erin for an overshare when it comes to her sex life."

"I know," said Brittany airily. "We talked for like an hour the other day about her and Nomi's anniversary sex. Then we talked about their new dog. This is their fourth."

Santana chuckled and shook her head. Nomi and Erin were in Erin's words 'the rent not own' type, meaning that they loved to borrow the kids for a little while, but needed to know that they could eventually give them back. Instead they got dogs, which Nomi had come to actually appreciate throughout the years. Currently they were back in Chicago with their little band of pups. Santana liked the set up though. The fact that they had so many, kept the girls from requesting their own.

"Okay girl, that's enough of that," said Mercedes.

Sam picked that moment to finally speak up. "Guess I can't share about our…uh…..fun times," he joked.

"Hell to the naw, baby. I'd have to kill you.

"And I'd have to cut you…just…ew,"said Santana.

"While San could have made her opinion known in a nicer way, I'd have to agree with her," said Rachel.

"Oh please, girl," the black woman began. "My man is a….."

"Okay," Mike spoke over her. "So how's the non-profit going Rach?"

"Very well, thank you Mike," she answered with pride. "We've taken on twelve more women in the last three months and we received an anonymous donation for forty thousand dollars last month." The year after Jimmy was sent to prison, Rachel started up a small non-profit called STRT (Somewhere to Run Toward). The name had come up when the former glee club captain was thinking about how she'd planned on running away from Jimmy, but hadn't realized she had somewhere to run to until after she had made it to Chicago. It was somewhat of a battered women's shelter, though it was also a program that helped women file police reports, find lawyers, jobs, places to live, counseling, and if needed learning job skills. Santana had convinced her fellow partners to assign at least one case to each of the lawyers at the firm as pro bono work, though the newbies saw one or two more cases cross their desks than the seasoned lawyers did. It was a tax write-off in the end. It was Rachel's passion now. She did local theater to fulfill her appetite for the stage, but she didn't need it as she once did. She had other things in her life that made her feel important and special now. She also continued to give voice lessons.

A round of 'that's great's and various other congratulations were directed at her causing her to blush a little. Then they all went about talking again until it was time to eat.

**RSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRSRS**

Rachel looked dreamily at her wife and daughters as they dug into their meals. Santana was picking at her salad, Paige was enjoying her corn on the cob, and Payton had a face full of barbeque sauce after attempting to eat her chicken leg.

It all made her think of the day she had asked Santana to marry her. Well, actually it was Paige that asked. Rachel and Santana were putting Paige to bed when she was seven. She graduated from being read to, to reading to them before she drifted off to dream land. Though that night, she and her mother had conspired to switch things up a bit. Once they had both kissed her good night, Rachel prompted her daughter to retrieve the ring box under her pillow. Though she'd practiced her speech over and over again, Paige just couldn't seem to remember it and in that moment, neither could her mom. Instead the child went with _"Tana, you promised we could keep you forever and ever and always and a day…..So will you marry us just to make sure."_ It wasn't the most romantic proposal, yet the Latina had yet to hear a more perfect one. Six months later they both had the wedding they'd always wanted. It was small, but everyone they cared for was in attendance. She and Paige took Santana's sir name, now making them all Lopez's.

Paige looked at her sister and giggled. "P, you have BBQ sauce all over your face."

The dark little girl smiled and said. "I don't care. It's yummy."

"And messy," their mom laughed out loud, not bothering to try to clean the girl up until she was done eating.

"Try it, Mama," the girl offered the mauled leg to Santana.

The lawyer made a big show of taking a bite of the poultry limb. "She's right. Uncle Finn and Uncle Matt know their Barbeque."

"Yours is better Mama," Paige said quietly.

"Thanks, baby," Santana tangled her fingers into her eldest daughter's long chestnut hair. "But you know we have to stroke their ego's," she whispered into her ear.

"It's a shame Will and Emma couldn't make it," Finn said as he approached the family.

"It really is," Santana replied. "Though if I had to choose between Rome and Lima I wouldn't be here either," she kidded. Rachel nodded and joined in the quiet laughter.

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't be either," he smiled back. He'd grown up to be a pretty decent man. It took him being left by his second wife with a baby to take care of for it to happen, but it did happen. Santana was proud of the man. She wasn't going to outright tell him that, but she showed it in her own way.

The little red-head ran up to her father. "Daddy can I go with Uncle Sam and Aunt Mercedes later? They said I could go with them and watch the new 'Avatar' with them, and Sammy, and Brett if you said yes."

"Sure," he smiled down at his daughter.

"Thank you daddy," she gave him a quick hug and ran back to sit with Sammy.

"That is a cute kid you got there Hudson," said Santana. It was one of the only ways she could compliment the man. She still had some leftover resentment for him, even though she knew it was ridiculous. She was still working through some old issues in therapy. She'd gone back to it the month before Erin and Nomi's wedding, after admitting to Rachel that the Jimmy situation had been more taxing on her than she had admitted at the time. Rachel still attended sessions as well though they'd been cut back to once every other week. Paige stopped attending a year prior.

"Thanks," he proudly replied. "Your girls are pretty cute too."

"Actually we're gorgeous," Paige giggled. "I don't do cute."

"And just like that, I can see Santana had a hand in raising you," he returned with a goofy grin.

"She definitely takes after her mama," added Rachel.

"Was there ever any doubt?" The lawyer scoffed.

"Never," the Jewish woman answered and then pecked her wife on the lips.

"Enough of that, you," the thirteen-year-old cut in. "I don't need to see that,"

"You tell'em Paigey," Quinn hollered over from her seat on the patio.

"Hey, this is my in-laws house," Santana spoke. "We can do what we want."

"I bet Leroy and Hiram would have a thing or two to say about that," the pregnant blonde retorted.

"Well thanks to a cruise to the Bahamas, we don't have to worry about it," Rachel said.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

"Hey, P," Santana whispered, affectively getting her four year-old's attention. "Go give Auntie Quinn a big kiss, okay."

"Kay," replied the little girl.

Finn shook his head, smiling and made his way back to the other side of the yard. He'd moved back to Lima from Alaska after his wife had left, and was now working in construction. He was content in his life.

They all watched as the little girl made her war over to James, who picked her up and aided her in reaching her hazel-eyed Aunt's cheek with her lips. Quinn didn't even flinch at the fact that the girl left sauce on her cheek. She merely kissed her niece's forehead and wiped the messy reddish-brown concoction away from first Payton's face, and then her own. Tina, the professional photographer, took a few pictures of the little moment.

"Beth called me earlier," Paige cut in. "She's gonna visit with Uncle Puck and Aunt Lauren next month, then she is going to go see Aunt Quinn and Uncle James after that. Her and Grandma Shelby won't make it to Chicago til August." she pouted a little at the last piece of info. Beth was her aunt, but they never really used the title.

"Give her a break, honey," Rachel soothed. "She's a college student with a lot of stops to make on her summer vacation. I'll bet she's excited to see us, but she also has a baby brother to get to know, and two more to get prepared for." Beth had just completed her sophomore year at Texas A&M, majoring in liberal arts. Paige still thought she hung the moon and now so did Payton. The older daughter was currently plotting on how to convince her mothers to allow her to get a green streak in her hair because she thought Beth's pink one was so cool.

"I know," the teenager began, happily. "Zach is adorable."

"Yeah, I gotta hand it to Puck, he makes good looking kids," chuckled the Latina.

"Abuela Alice said that P and I can stay the night over there tonight," stated the girl.

"What? You don't want to hang out with your mom and mama," Rachel said in mock offence.

"I think my feelings are actually crushed." This came from the teen's mama.

"You're alright but you're not gonna get up and make me blueberry waffles in the morning or take us to the arcade in the mall," joked Paige.

"I make you breakfast all the time," Rachel huffed incredulously.

"Not like Abuela Alice." Santana tried to hold back the giggle. Her mother was especially good at homemade waffles, her wife, not so much.

"Save me one," Rachel added grudgingly.

"Me too," said the tan skinned woman.

"We'll see. I am a growing teenager after all, and Abuelo Esteban doesn't always share so well when it comes to food."

"Maybe we'll stay over there too," said her mama.

The girl rolled her eyes before Matt caught her attention. "I'm going to talk to Uncle Matt, he has some music to add to my play list. None of it gets released until next month. Jack and Leanne are going to be so jealous." Her grin was slightly devilish. "Some of the songs are from Deon's upcoming album. Josh is in love with her. He's gonna beg me to get copy of it."

She jumped up and ran to him. Matt was still the silent type for the most part. He only ever really spoke when necessary, which was odd with him being a music producer back in Los Angeles, who had a different lady on his arm for every event he attended. His artists did a lot of collaborations with Mike for music videos and concerts and now Tina did a great deal of the promotional photos.

"Your daughter is devious," The Jewish woman snarked.

"Oh, like you weren't devious at her age? I can think of a few **way** more underhanded things we both pulled in our day," Santana defended.

Her wife rolled her eyes. "Point taken."

"Yeah, thought so."

Paige was far from the girls they once had been. She had her mom's voice and need for planning, while she had acquired her mama's bite, and wit, though the traits were far more dialed back in her than they had been in them. She didn't try to play them against each other though, she'd found that it would only turn back around on herself if she did.

"She isn't anywhere as bad as we were," Rachel admitted.

"Except for that damn pout. You'd think I would have developed an immunity to that by now. And now she's taught it to Little P," Santana said in in false exasperation.

"If it makes you feel any better," the other woman began, "I know how you feel about that now. It gets to me too, as you may have noticed throughout the years."

"That's the part that makes it worth it," the raven-haired woman smirked then pecked her wife on the lips again.

The former diva's breath hitched. "You know, I don't feel much like blueberry waffles."

"Huh?"

"I mean, we can whip up something here….. maybe brunch in bed?" Rachel urged huskily. "When's the last time it was just you and me all alone? Remember all the fun we used to have here when we were together…alone as teenagers?"

Santana gulped and gazed into a set of sultry chocolate pools, before ripping her eyes away and hollering over to their friends. "Two hours and you all gotta find somewhere else to go! Tiny tot, give your Abuelo a call and tell him that he can come pick you and your sister up at seven thirty." Her friends didn't bother protesting. The party was meant to be over by seven anyway. She looked back to her amused wife and whispered, "I'll get Little P's bag ready to go after dessert."

"Is it possible that I, Rachel Berry, have become a bad influence on you?"

"That's Rachel Lopez, missy," she pointed at her wife in a false accusatory manner. "But no my love you are most definitely not a bad influence." She blushed, realizing just how completely whipped she still was after all these years.

"Oh?"

"You have been my somewhat crazy, beautifully talented, obsessively ambitious, unexpected salvation since high school."

"Unexpected salvation, huh?"

"Yep. The act of saving or protecting from harm, risk, loss, destruction. I was going downhill when you started forcing your special brand of Berry on me. You kind of saved me from myself and I didn't even see it coming." The Latina smiled lovingly.

"In that case," Rachel said as she settled into her wife's lap, "You were mine too."

"You two are grossing my babies out," hollered Quinn.

"Shut it up, preggers!"

"San!"

"Sorry Britt. I'm trying."

"Q, thinks it's sweet just as much as I do. She just doesn't want to admit it," said Brittany.

"No, I _really_ don't!"

Almost in unison, a resounding "Yeah right," followed the pregnant woman's words.

**The End**


End file.
